Monday, July 31, 2006

PASTOR JOE

Pastor Joe is one of my first cabbie friends who showed me the ropes of the hacking world. The first day I started hacking I was so scared, when my first ever passenger sat in the back seat I thought I saw a ghost. When I got my drivers license for the first time my dad advised me not to pick up people I don't know off the street, but I started to pick up strangers for a living, so every person I used to pick up made me nervous for the first six month until I met the pastor. I will never forget what he said to me when I told him how scared I was giving rides to strangers, "Listen you dumb ass rookie, it is the other way around, passengers are supposed to be scared of your stupid ass, in their eyes you are a low life ex convict, driving around and looking for the next petty crime, so you should be proud of that and act like one!" I felt so good when I heard that. I, Mad Cabbie a petty criminal? What a cool job!

Pastor Joe is an ex marine who used to be an air traffic controller before he got mass canned by Ronald Reagan in the early eighties and also got kicked out by his wife the same year. He had an impressive resume after that, used car auctioneer, used car salesman, bike messenger, Wendy's manager, door to door sales and a few pyramid sales scams. He got the name "pastor" because of his wealth of knowledge about the Bible and also never goes anywhere without the holy book including his frequent visits to the nude bars.

The pastor is one of the most talented cabbies in town in my book. He knows his shit, he can make more money in few hours than most drivers hacking a full shift. Cab driving sounds like an easy job, just cruise the streets and pick up hitch hikers, but its not that easy, its not a rocket science but it requires talent and you can't learn it in a classroom, it takes years and years of driving and fucking up to get your shit straight. Pastor is a kind of cabbie that can take you anywhere and get you anything you want. You need a one legged hooker? Call the pastor, you need to know a place where to get some hash which can get you stoned the whole summer? Call the pastor, you need a recommendation in who to call to get your hubby knocked off? Call the pastor, you also wanna get rid of the body? Call the holy man!

Oh I forgot, he is also the person I go to for some spiritual guidance, and I am happy to say I will start my vacation this coming Friday for a couple of weeks and we are taking a trip together with the pastor and there is not going to be one dull moment.

Mad Cabbie.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mad Cabbie, enjoy your vacation. Will you write while on your break? Behave with the Pastor...


DCFREAK

lugosi said...

What's a vacation?

kilgorsky said...

Yeah, where are you guys going?

Red said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DC Cab Rider said...

Hey, have fun on your vacation mad cabbie. I don't know if I've ever ridden with Pastor, but he sounds like fun. I keep forgetting to mention fun ride with diamond cabbie #157 last week. Quite a laugh on that fella.

And now that you mentioned it, how many requests does a cabbie get in an average month for a one-legged hooker?

MJ06 said...

Have fun on vacation.
I know your right every bodys job is harder then or looks or what people think it is.

Mad Cabbie said...

Anonymous: I will try to behave with the holy man even though its a hard task. No I won't be writting, when I am on vacation I try not to think about anything else but have a good time and enjoy the moment.

Lug: vacation in my book means, not working, I don't care if you have to bunker yourself in the basement as long as you do nothing and just stare at the wall. Lug are you going back to the chicken ranch again this year?

Kilg, I am going to visit my brother and his wife and the new baby in London, and after that I am going to hook up with the pastor and another friend in Amesterdam and take it from there!
Take care Kilg!

Red, I am going to miss you and reading your stuff, I will try to introduce all my shady friends and post it before I leave. I hope I will read about your new dates and adventures when I come back!

DCCR, I think the chances of you riding with me or the pastor are very slim, since we work the over night Jerry Springer shift. We don't get society chicks like you:)! I don't think I know #157, I don't know the day drivers, most the drivers I know are the cons who drive at night under the witness protection programme. DCCR you wouldn't believe what people ask sometimes, I think you gave me an idea for a future blog!

Thanks Mj, Cab driving is not an easy job! You need balls made of steel brotha!

kilgorsky said...

Man, that's pure awesomness.
Amsterdam--you have to blog from there.

legal alien said...

does the pastor joe have a blog , if no please persuade him to get one.

Red said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mad Cabbie said...

Legal Alien: The pastor doesn't own a computer, I had to put a gun to his head to have him buy a cell phone, he is one of those freaks who don't trust the goverenment so I don't think blogging is in his menu anytime soon. I will try to post his cab war stories in the future. LA I like your alias by the way!

Parasailing uh? thats cool Red. I might be sailing myself red, sailing from the few buzz I will be getting!! I will try to blog from one of those internet caffes over there if I stay sober enough!

avocadoinparadise said...

It's nice to hear that sometimes the cabbies are nervous about us. I'm generally very nervous about them!

Have fun in Amsterdam!!! So many great cafes to explore there, with knowledgeable salespeople behind the counters... :)

Anonymous said...

Yo Mad, I think I need to join this group of yours.....makes cab driving interesting!

Yellow 47

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