Friday, June 12, 2009


Julie is a hooker we have known for a number of years and I saw her last night crossing Independence avenue in Capitol Hill. She was professionally dressed and was carrying a bag. The way she carried herself suggests that she may not be in to the escort business anymore.

Julie is a real baby face, hot body about 5' 7" blond, blue eyes and amazing white teeth. The first time I met her about five years ago, I was shocked to see her hustling. I thought she was fourteen or something and I was afraid that I might get busted for transporting a minor. That night she wanted to be driven to a house in Woodley Park to take care of one of her clients who called her on short notice.

"Do you mind if we make a quick stop at the Marriott so I can shave my pubs?"

That's exactly what she asked me minutes before we got to the house. She was explaining to me that her man was in to completely shaven pussy and doesn't tolerate a single hair. So we made a quick detour at the Wardman Park Marriott and she ran inside to use the lobby bathroom. While waiting for her I kept asking myself on how a once a proud member of the United States Marine ended up as a cabbie, waiting for hooker, while she shaved her pussy clean in a hotel bathroom?

She came back fresh and smelling real good for her man of the night. I dropped her off around the corner after making arrangement to pick her up later that night. I ended up being her driver for the next three years.

By the way what's up with the guys in to bald pussies? Ladies if your man is in to that shit you better hide the little girls away from him! That's all I can say. I like my ladies bushy and natural, I want to go camping in that joint motherfucker!

Finally I want to say that I hope Julie is not hooking anymore, I know it is a business hard to get away from because it's addictive like cab driving. Don't go too far, just look at me! I thought I was done cab driving? Not a chance, my ass is back hacking but I don't want to see Julie back working the streets anymore.


Pastor Joe.

Thursday, June 11, 2009


My fellow DC cab drivers, make sure you lube your asses real good every time you come to work because we are getting fucked by the current fare rates. I started to second guess myself on why I returned to cab driving on my first night back last night.

I made the stupid move to pull over for a girl holding a light bag standing at the corner of Wisconsin and Garrison around 4am. Normally, I avoid a potential airport job, I look the other way and drive off whenever I see people drag their suitcases and waive their hands. I am a hood hustler fuck the airport work, every now and then I get paid with a bag of weed but that's okay, that's how I roll motherfucker. I was on my way back to the city after dropping off a group of drunk people in Bethesda when I pulled over for a tall skinny girl. By the way she stiffed me on the tip because I don't support gay marriage like she does, I am not like those idiots who just agree with your bullshit just to be polite, fuck you!

To make this sorry ass story short, the metered fare ended up being $39. 50. What the fuck is going on? $39.50 to drive your ass all the way to Dulles Airport and listen to your bullshit on top of that? This same trip would cost her close to $60 when she catches back those Virginia airport cabs when she returns back to town. This will be the last Dulles Airport trip that I will be running, I am going to drop the old classic Pastor move that I use to avoid these slave jobs!

The head clown Uncle Tom, oops I am sorry I meant to say Mayor Fenty! He is going to be a one fucking hit wonder, he is not going to carry ward 7 & 8 like last time during the next election. I can't believe Uncle Tom Jr, ooops again! I meant to say Mad Cabbie, volunteered for this idiot's campaign last time. This motherfucker is completely destroying the working class in the District of Columbia as Ronald Reagan demolished the American middle class! He is setting up the individual DC cabbie to fail so he can hand it to big corporations on a silver platter.

The fares are slashed at least 15%-25% and on top of that the city has started issuing new licenses to thousands of new drivers. Washington DC has the highest number of cabs per capita in the nation already with out the new drivers! Pretty soon drivers will be drawing guns at each other for the right to pick up a fare. What does this tell you about Fenty's administration? What is the message? I think it is loud and clear! It's time to stack up those KY Jellies fellow cabbies, God help you are going to need it big time. The CVS on DuPont Circle has them on sale! This week only while supplies last!

Next time I just stick to my hood jobs, motherfuckers are not going to bother me to take them to the airports from the slums. Maybe to the Greyhound Station on their way to an exotic vacation at the Kings Dominion, and that's fine with me.


Pastor Joe.