Thursday, June 11, 2009


My fellow DC cab drivers, make sure you lube your asses real good every time you come to work because we are getting fucked by the current fare rates. I started to second guess myself on why I returned to cab driving on my first night back last night.

I made the stupid move to pull over for a girl holding a light bag standing at the corner of Wisconsin and Garrison around 4am. Normally, I avoid a potential airport job, I look the other way and drive off whenever I see people drag their suitcases and waive their hands. I am a hood hustler fuck the airport work, every now and then I get paid with a bag of weed but that's okay, that's how I roll motherfucker. I was on my way back to the city after dropping off a group of drunk people in Bethesda when I pulled over for a tall skinny girl. By the way she stiffed me on the tip because I don't support gay marriage like she does, I am not like those idiots who just agree with your bullshit just to be polite, fuck you!

To make this sorry ass story short, the metered fare ended up being $39. 50. What the fuck is going on? $39.50 to drive your ass all the way to Dulles Airport and listen to your bullshit on top of that? This same trip would cost her close to $60 when she catches back those Virginia airport cabs when she returns back to town. This will be the last Dulles Airport trip that I will be running, I am going to drop the old classic Pastor move that I use to avoid these slave jobs!

The head clown Uncle Tom, oops I am sorry I meant to say Mayor Fenty! He is going to be a one fucking hit wonder, he is not going to carry ward 7 & 8 like last time during the next election. I can't believe Uncle Tom Jr, ooops again! I meant to say Mad Cabbie, volunteered for this idiot's campaign last time. This motherfucker is completely destroying the working class in the District of Columbia as Ronald Reagan demolished the American middle class! He is setting up the individual DC cabbie to fail so he can hand it to big corporations on a silver platter.

The fares are slashed at least 15%-25% and on top of that the city has started issuing new licenses to thousands of new drivers. Washington DC has the highest number of cabs per capita in the nation already with out the new drivers! Pretty soon drivers will be drawing guns at each other for the right to pick up a fare. What does this tell you about Fenty's administration? What is the message? I think it is loud and clear! It's time to stack up those KY Jellies fellow cabbies, God help you are going to need it big time. The CVS on DuPont Circle has them on sale! This week only while supplies last!

Next time I just stick to my hood jobs, motherfuckers are not going to bother me to take them to the airports from the slums. Maybe to the Greyhound Station on their way to an exotic vacation at the Kings Dominion, and that's fine with me.


Pastor Joe.


Anonymous said...

Pastor Joe, You are embarassing the WHITE RACE for driving a cab in Washington DC from all places! What's wrong with this picture?


Mad Cabbie said...

Who you calling "Uncle Tom" you Wigger! Just stop crying Pastor and start making some cash. Life gives you lemon, make margarita out of it you jackass!

Mad Cabbie.

Mad Cabbie said...

Blue Eyes, I thought you were the shooter at the Holocaust Museum. I guess they're going to fry your uncle.

brokemoto said...

That is 'Dear Revered Leader Kim il-Fenty' of the Demokratik People's Republik of New Kolumbia.

Did you know that the Chief Kommissar of the People's Taxikab Kommissariat has put out a Request for Proposals for a review of the fare structure? That means handing our Assessment money to more of Dear Revered Leader Kim il-Fenty's Kronies. Meanwhile it will be six months before we see any results.

You did, of course see the editorial in the Official Organ of the Compulsionist-Socialist Party of the Nanny States of Amerika, better known as the WASHINGTON POST. That filthy rag has always expressed the opinion that hackers are not entitled to a living wage.

I knew that Kim il-Fenty was no good, which was why I voted against him TWICE; once in the primary, once in the general election. I do not often vote Republican, but I voted for the Republican, Kranich, in the general election. I knew that there would be trouble when Kim il-Fenty hired Dan chi-Minh Tangherlini away from METRO. That clown is going to take a job in the Obama administration, but the damage has been done to us.

Sadly, the public pays heed to the Official Organ of the Compulsionist-Socialist Party of the Nanny States of Amerika. The public also votes blindly for whatever rectal aperture that the Demokratik People's Progressive Authoritarian Party of the Demokratik People's Republik of New Kolumbia puts up.

Oh, and be aware that the People's Progressive Authoritarian Gubbamint has put out an order to People's Drug Store and Rite-Aid that they can sell neither K-Y nor Vaseline to cab drivers. When you go down to 20-41 to renew your face, just walk posterior first, bent over and draws dropped.

You will not notice much of a difference in the number of cabs. All of those guys receiving faces are all of those illegals that have been out there for a number of years. They took and passed the U-Dummies-Kollidge Taxi Course, but they could not write the test at the People's Taxikab Kommissariat. They just decided to work, anyhow. Now they will be working with a face, instead of without one.

These new drivers are supposed to rent, and it does seem that the supply of rental cabs has dried up. I have run across a few new drivers at the People's Taxikab Kommissariat who are complaining that they now have a licence, but can not drive. I told them to check out Senor, Abtahi or those boys out front at Diamond. If that failed, I told them to try Schaeffer; he has about twenty cabs sitting idle over on Benning Road.

Oh, and if you see the plain black step vans outside your house and hear the plain black helicopters, you will know why. They should be showing up in Michigan Park to do a rendition on me any day now.

DC Cab Rider said...

I hear whining and moaning from drivers that the meters are taking all their money. But every ride I've had since meters has been MORE than the zone fare. Cost from downtown to my apartment has been $5 - $8 more than it was under zone.

So the poor-talking drivers should all be driving me I guess. What gives with all that?

brokemoto said...

Some of the fares are more, mostly in the daytime. The night boys are really getting jail-raped, though.

It used to be that if you wanted to hear about four hours worth of radio music, you sent a driver from somewhere west, or north of DuPont to Union Station twice in a row. Now, Wisconsin and Massachusetts, or Eighteenth and Columbia to the Station is the fare that you want. The K-Street to the Hill Shuttle also pays about a dollar more.

Here is what kills you: short trips from the Hill; Eighteenth and Columbia to Georgetown, K Street or DuPont; Georgetown to Glover Park or DuPont.

In the daytime, National Airport is about the same from what used to be the First, Second and Third Zones. The ticking of the meter in traffic makes up the difference between the old and new per-mile rates. From the Fourth and Fifth Zone, it is a couple of dollars less. Dulles and Friendship airports are SIGNIFICANTLY less. The only good thing about this is that hotel doormen and apartment desk clerks can no longer sell these jobs. They used to sell these jobs to their little payola club drivers, who, in turn, charged back to the customer what they paid for the job. This was illegal, mind you, but it was done. Now, it makes no economic sense to buy those jobs. Most of these hoopties out there require the high grade of gasolene. They burn two gallons out and two more, back. At three bananas per, there goes twelve potatoes. Ten dollars to the seller and you have given away almost half of your money before you have started. There are some who tell the customer that it is a flat rate and high flag, but the fine for that is one-thousand dollars. Only the most stupid are willing to risk that.

Then, there are Dear Revered Leader kim il-Fenty's nineteen dollar jobs: Anacostia to Georgetown Hospital; Langston to Sibley, Hadley Hospital to Providence Hospital, Fairfax Village to Washington Hospital Centre, Congress Park to Walter Reed. If you think that those trips are unusual, just ask the drivers at Liberty Cab, or, ask me, since I put out more than a few of those lousy jobs every day.

As far as those nineteen dollar jobs go, whatever happened to the meter advocates' statement that the meter allows the customer ' to pay for the use of the vehicle'? This socialist cap on the fare prodcuces a result contrary to the above. If you are going to force me to accept a contraption in my vehicle that I do not want, and force me to pay for the privelege, in addition, at least let me enjoy one of the FEW benefits that it produces.

The critics of the Zone System used to complain that those who took the short trips subsidised those who took the long trips. Under the current fare system, those who take short or average trips pay their fare. The driver now subsidises those who take the long trips. A system where the provider is REQUIRED to subsidise the consumer would meet ANY dictionary definition of Socialism.

Anonymous said...

What pay cut? I swore off cabs after no two cabbies ever agreed about the same zone fare. But I must admit, I kind of missed cabs because they went 50mph in the 25 zones, red lights meant little, overall it was really a thrilling ride. Recently I hopped in a cab again after a few years walking. Surprise! The cabbie drove about 5 mph even though there was no traffic, and slowed to let every green turn yellow and red. Evidently the "every trip costs the sucker $20" rule still holds. Sad.

Lugosi said...

$39.50 from DC to Dulles? Yeah, you're getting screwed. And you're estimate of $60 from Dulles to DC with a VA cab is correct.

Anonymous said...

Does this mean no more negotiating with cabs to take me home when it's fuckign cold outside? No more locking the door before I get and asking me where I'm going before hauling ass before I can write down their info to complain to the Cab Commission? That would be awesome!

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