Wednesday, August 30, 2006


I have a great well balanced life, I love my life, I have great friends and loving family. I am not rich but I don't worry about money, with the exception of my mortgage I maintain zero debt, so I am not in any kind of pressure. I am still single but I do have a healthy sex life. I am physically active and in a great shape and on top of all this, I love what I do which is driving a cab.

Every now and then like tonight for example, I feel real empty and worthless and question the purpose of my existence and have a philosophical debate with myself, but never suicidal.

"Mad, what the fuck is going on? Are you going to pop yourself? Don't do it Mad! Don't do it! The Redskins are going all a way this season, at least wait until the season is over, and I know gas is expensive but I hear a running engine is the way to go Mad!"

Fuck you man! I am not that weak, but you know what I discovered lately about myself? When ever I feel like shit, I become real irresponsible about my safety while driving my cab at night and do all kind of stupid shit that could put my life in jeopardy. Is it because I am a pussy to do it myself and let some crack head in the back seat of my cab do the dirty work for me?

"Enough with the self analysis bullshit Dr. Freud, We are waiting for your ass at the poker table Mad, are you coming or not?"

I have got to go to this stupid poker game now. Good night!

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


I have never intentionally overcharge my passengers in my 16 years of cab driving adventure. If I am going to charge you more I will tell you that up front on how much the fare will cost if the ride is out of the ordinary, like if you wanna bang your woman in my back seat, or if have to drive you all over the place looking for hookers, you know, shit like that and in that case the zone system is not going to fly so I will tell what my time is worth in advance. Squeezing a buck or two of you is not going to change my life and it is the WRONG thing to do, most DC cab drivers are honest guys, but like any business there are few bad apples and that makes people suspicious of cab drivers, especially here in Washington DC because we don't use meters and use confusing zone systems.

So today I will throw a bone at you on how to be an intelligent cab rider if you live near Connecticut and Florida near north Dupont or Kalaroma heights. Make sure to walk a few blocks and flag your cab at the corner of Connecticut and Florida because it could be three different zones 1, 2A, and 2B from that spot. For $6.50 you can get a ride all way to Union Station, Capitol Hill the House and the Senate, all over down town, South west north of E street, Washington Hospital center, Columbia heights, National Zoo, Vice president's mansion, Georgetown main strip and Georgetown University, Kennedy Center and the Watergate, George Washington University, all over Shaw and on all way up to Georgia and Randolph. That's why I call it the "Golden Spot" for you passengers not for us hackers, its more like a "Give a passenger a free ride Spot" for cab drivers so don't be surprised if some cab drivers simply ignore you and blow you off if you're standing at that spot especially this Diamond Cab driver I know with a fucked up hair and picking his nose.

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

Monday, August 28, 2006


Unfortunately my sister is a very busy single mother and I try to help her out with her daughter as much as I could, so I was at my niece's school this morning for the first school day event. Gus Guzzone was one of the guest speakers at the school, he is an elected official in Howard county council and also my old college buddy at the University of Maryland. He is running for Maryland state delegate for district 13 in Howard county. To be honest with you I don't know what his campaign plat form is, he might want all DC cab drivers like me hanged in public if he wins for all I know, but I do know he is a great human being and have a great track record in the county I live in.

If you live in his district please get your lazy ass out September 12th 2006 and vote for Guy Guzzone will you? If I manage to get him one more vote through this blog I will be so happy. If you vote for him let me know and I will give your drunk ass a free ride, or is it against campaign finance contribution rules?

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

Sunday, August 27, 2006


My Ethiopian friend who lives a few blocks from me was begging me to go to a Buddhist temple with him for the last ten years. I always wanted to go, and after I thought about it for the last ten years I went along with him this morning and he was shocked when I called him this morning to tell him so.

We know that you're retarded Mad but why it took you ten years just to go and check out some spiritual joint?

I am at a point of my life where I need some spiritual guidance and the advice I was getting from my Pastor Joe wasn't the highway to heaven. Ten years of the pastor screaming at me didn't enlighten me at all.

I did enjoy my first day at the temple in Silver Spring. Are all Buddhist short? I looked like clown standing among them. I am not going to say much now but it was interesting. I grew up as a Catholic but I lost my interest during my teens after they told me its pretty much a one way ticket to hell if I don't stop jerking off. Getting laid in high school wasn't an easy task so what do you want from me? But I do base my life on always doing the right thing and live life simple and I think I am doing pretty good on that aspect so far.

I have the next three days off and I have five days worth of shit to do. I am going to take out my niece (who is excited for the first day of school tomorrow) to dinner and come back home and call it a day. It was a very productive week.

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie

Friday, August 25, 2006



I am a casting director at Bullrun, a new TV show from Spike TV, which is based on the automotive rally of the same name. We are looking for drivers to compete in the televised version of Bullrun in October, which will go from Vancouver to Los Angeles. These people need to love their cars.

Right now we are specifically searching for taxi drivers who have their own car or truck (or taxi!) that they love. We are especially looking for outgoing, personable and young people.

Since I'm sure you have access to taxi drivers I would appreciate if you could pass this information on to anyone you think could be a potential participant in the show. We want great cars and great people who are 21 years of age or older, have a passion for their car, know someone who could be a co-pilot and have a good driving record. Please have them contact me (of course, if you're interested, you can contact me as well). They can also go to for more information.

Thanks for your help!
Roberta Brodsky
Casting Director

This is one of the emails I receive every now and then from diffrent media outlets. No offense Roberta but I can't believe that there are some geniuses out there who invest even $10 in this garbage. Who is going to watch this shit? If they could get about twelve people including Lugosi to watch this masterpiece Spike TV has done well. Send me a script first next time.

Here is from some chick from BBC radio:

From: "Emma Robbins"
[Add to Address Book]
Subject: BBC World Service
Date: Sunday, July 23, 2006 10:02:35 AM [View Source]


I work for a radio programme called The World Today on the BBC World Service and we're doing a feature on the Lebanon-Israel situation and talking to taxi drivers from around the world, asking them what they think about the situation and what kinds of conversations they've had with their passengers about it. The programme goes on air tomorrow morning, and we need to have a short interview with a taxi driver from the US today, as soon as possible. It would only take a few minutes by phone.

If you have anything to say on the subject or any other taxi drivers you know have had any interesting conversations about it with their passengers then it would be great if you could get in touch as soon as possible. Either email me here or phone me on 0044 207 ***-****.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Best wishes,


Sound bite interviews makes you sound stupid, I didn't want to embarrass my fellow intellectual cabbies like Mr.Lugosi sounding like a retard so I told Emma to read my opinion in full on the air but she told me to go fuck myself and now I have a law suit pending against Tony Blair, the Queen, Manchester United, The British government and Benny Hill!

"Mad! Benny Hill has been dead for ten years you retard!"

Okay I will sue the town of Notting Hill instead.

And from some dude at the Washington Times for a lunch interview, (Lunch? I don't know you that well! What did this guy had in mind? But I would have gone if it was a chick!)

Finally this one from some dude at Stanford working on his PhD.....

Hello Mr. Charter,

I am writing to you because of your taxi blog. I'm a PhD student at
Stanford and I'm doing a project on technologies that can reveal a
user's location, like GPS. I'm trying to get the opinion of a number of
cab drivers regarding the use of GPS in their cabs--some companies have
this already (in the form of satellite maps); others don't want it
(like Philly cab drivers who are striking over the installment of GPS
this fall because they consider it surveillance).

I'd love to know your opinion about this. Would you have a minute to
answer the following questions for me? I'd really appreciate it.

1) Do you have GPS installed in your cab now?

2) If yes, how has it changed the way you drive cab? If not, how do you
think driving cab with the assistance of GPS will change the way you

3) Who can/would likely be able to see the whereabouts of cabs? Other
drivers? Management only?

4) As a cab driver, is/would it be helpful to you to see the location
of other cabs? Why?

5) When do you think cab drivers use satellite mapping that GPS

6) What's the best thing about GPS in cabs? What's the worst thing
about GPS in cabs?

Feel free to forward these questions to others. I really would love to
get a wide set of opinions.

Thanks so much!

Ingrid Erickson
Stanford University

Sorry Ingrid I can't help you with this one, I don't even own a television set at home let alone GPS in my cab. I am still working on my map reading technique which I got from seven-eleven for $12. Cabs in Washington DC don't have well functioning brakes so $500-$1000 investment in GPS is not in the near future, but as a public service announcement I posted your questions to any cabbie out there who is interested in the survey. Please email Ingrid Erickson.

From now on, anyone wants Mad Cabbies time? Your people need to call my people and officially Jamy is my agent now, you go call her and leave me alone and that includes you Mr. Spielberg

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

Thursday, August 24, 2006


I picked up this chick from capitol hill and she wanted to go Arlington, I say she is about in her early thirties, quite attractive and had a few drinks and wasn't happy at all. She just broke off with her boyfriend and was telling the bad news to her friend on the cell phone. She was talking about how he always embarrassed her in front of her friends with his drinking problem and she couldn't take it anymore. But the most interesting thing she said at last was "Fuck him! I was tired of that small dick anyways!"

Most women who ride in my cab always tell me size really matters whenever the penis subject comes up and they are usually drunk when they make the comment and that means they are telling the truth. Both of my sisters don't hide that fact either. Once I hooked up my younger sister with this good looking tall nice dude, and they stopped seeing each other after few months, when I asked her what happened and I still laugh by her response, she said she has a bigger dick than he did! sorry guys the loud mouth runs in the family!

After my passenger finished talking to her friend and hang up the phone I said, "I bet you told him the size didn't matter when you first started?" She couldn't help but laughed her ass off and said "listen, any girl who says the size don't matter crap is lying to you, size does matter honey! But women compromise for other nice things about their guys, in my case this guy I just broke off with is a complete jerk so I won't short change myself if you know what I mean!" We got to her place and I wished her luck.

I know this is not a good news for some of you guys who live in the small dick wonderland, you better have all kind of tricks under your sleeves to off set the deficit, you know like buying a big ass Cadillac Escalade or something.

"Did you say some of you guys Mad? Are you trying to say you have a big one? Those hookers around the Washington Post building are saying otherwise, they feel guilty charging your ass for that little pencil you carry around Mad Cabbie!"

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006


First night out for work last night and as expected like any last two weeks of August it was very slow. I hanged out with few fellow drivers at Georgetown Cafe and bullshit. At one point we were talking about why it is impossible for humans to live in peace without war and killing each other, I kind of agree most conflicts start due to the dictation of feelings and emotions rather than reasonable logic and then the big EGO takes over and then there is no end in site. I have a friend or used to be a friend who is having a beef with me and I see that person acting like a child and doing some stupid shit letting emotions and ego take over instead of behaving like an adult to communicate and resolve, or agree to disagree. This is the problem we are facing in this planet today and...

"Come on Pluto we're falling asleep here! Enough with your bullshit philosophy, how about some interesting funny shit? I know it was a slow night, but Jesus, you're boring us to death!!!"

Okay you jackass you don't want to read on what I have to say? Well here are some of the interesting messages I received through my voice mail while I was away:

A pimp (my regular rider) who was pissed off that I was gone on vacation without telling him and not going to be at his party:

"Listen you motherfucken nigger, I heard you and that fucken red neck pastor are vacationing in Amsterdam? I don't believe this shit! We just talked three days ago and you didn't say shit about going on a motherfucking vacation, Its like that ah? I invite you to this dope ass party with pussy all over the place and you're too good to say your ass is not coming! You two motherfucking fagotts are going to hore for me when your ass gets back in town bitch! Hold on Mad, DON'T YOU SEE I AM ON THE PHONE BITCH!!!Like I said motherfuckers, you two bitches are going to work overtime for me! And tell that cracker I said hi, I will see you when you get back ladies"

A married dude I know who wanted to know where to take his hottie girlfriend in Maryland:

"Hello Mad, this is ******** Dude I am trying to take this chick some where nice to have a drink in Maryland, some where far in the woods where I don't run in to people I know, you know what I mean, low key but a nice place like a neighborhood bar or some shit. Please call me back as soon as you get this message, God you should see the tits on this broad! Call me back! Thank You!" Where the fuck are you anyways? Shouldn't your ass be working this time of the night?

Ethiopian cab driver I know trying to hook me up with an Ethiopian chick and wants me there ASAP, He knows I have a hard on for Ethiopian women:

"Listen Motherfucker, this is your lucky night asshole so you better show up, I tried calling you home and no answer! Where the fuck are you? I am at "Langano's" with a bunch of friends and I met this Ethiopian girl I used to know back in LA and she just moved here, she is too fucken tall for me so I told her about you and she wants to meet you, Look Mad, this chick is smoking hot and every motherfucker is staring at her so you better be here quick, we're going to hang here until two. Later!"

Some drunk regular passenger wanted a ride home and didn't know where he was 3 in the morning:

"Hey Mad, where the fuck are you? Oh, shit..I am some where in Rockville I think..fuck man...Maybe its Bethesda man...How the fuck I got here man? this bitch ditched me man, fucking slut...Alright dude I will be waiting for you...Shit, fucking bitch!"

I called this dude last night and he has no recollection about leaving this message but he is okay now.

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


On the flight to London I was sitting next to some jackass who was rapping about being the king of consultants. He was talking about how he turned around a mom and pops store in to a billion dollar IPO, how his ten dollar real estate investment turned in to million dollar hot spot, you know shit like that. I couldn't even read an important literature I brought with me in the plane, "Amazing Spider-Man #534".

that's why I like driving at night, to avoid boring people like him. Most of my passengers during the night are real every day people, besides wanting to stab me and rob my ass they're cool, I really dig their bullshit. I volunteer at this kitchen in Baltimore and about a year ago one of the fellow volunteer had a heart attack so we went to the hospital to see him, and I learned more things about him that day, he pretty much owns half of Baltimore! All those years we did shit together he never said a word about his wealth, that's what you call a class act.

I am going to leave you with what my hero said in assessing his accomplishments towards the end of his life, and this is coming from a man who really changed the world we live in:

"I don't know how I may appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy, playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself, in now and then finding a smoother pebble or prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me." Isaac Newton 1642-1727

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie

Monday, August 21, 2006


Thanks to everyone who left nice comments and sent emails to wish me a nice vacation I really do appreciate it.

My vacation wasn't the greatest because I had some personal issues that started to bother me right before I left but I made the best I could out of my trip. I haven't seen my brother for over a year and seeing my new nephew for the first time was a blast. God I wanna have some kids! London was pretty much a family affair, my brother took me to a few cool pubs and I think we got wasted like three nights in a row. I am not a big drinker by no means but I kindda enjoyed my drinking moments during this vacation, so I don't want to be near any kind of alcohol until the next vacation.

Pastor Joe arrived in Amsterdam four hours before I did and I found him at the hotel bar half drunk at one in the afternoon, boy I was so happy to see the holy man. By the way someone emailed me about where to find a cafe to buy the best weed in Amsterdam and let me make myself clear, Mad doesn't smoke weed, and I don't need to fly thousands of miles to get one, while I could get it for free here in our nations capital from my one of the cab riding pusher clients. The last time I smoked that shit was at our high school prom night and I was so stoned I still don't remember being in that party. Weed makes me go blank and throw up, I hated it and I don't need that shit to get high, I am a naturally high person, if you invite Mad Cabbie to one of your lame ass boring party, I would turn it in to a wild ass party revolution and I don't need a drop of alcohol or drug to do that. The reason I enjoy Amsterdam is, it is so cosmopolitan with tons of cool people stoned and sober and I enjoy the night clubs with the best DJs in the world, you think we have night clubs in DC? If you think the "Fur" night club in DC is the hippest joint, you need to get out of the country every now and then, We live in a quite southern town in case you didn't know.

I don't think I ever abused my body like this vacation ever, we pretty much drunk and danced every night, ate all kind of nice greasy food and very little sleep. By the way pastor, thanks a lot for scaring those hot French chicks away while I was rapping to them trying to close the deal, you came up with that dumm ass story about us dancing with those transvestites in South Beach years ago, fuck you pastor, that night only God and I know what I did to relive myself in the bathroom.

"Is it not what you do every night Mad? When is the last time you got laid Mad Cabbie?"

Talking about getting laid, I almost did at this club called Escape, God what a party! This Ukrainian chick wanted to take me home with her but she was taller than I was and I am 6'2" and I kept staring at her crotch because I was suspicious about her womanhood, when she or maybe he went to the powder room with her friend, me and pastor Joe ran out of the club fast. Since the Pastor and I are big Broadway fans we then visited couple of live on stage sex shows, we sat next to these elderly couples probably in their seventies, I was more interested in watching their reactions than the live sex show, I bet they got laid that night.

After about a week in the Netherlands we rented a car and drove to Wiesbaden in Germany to visit my 94 year old grandmother. We were driving a bad ass M3, pedal to the floor, I put in my old NWA cd (For those of you dorks out there NWA is not North West Airlines, Its Niggers with Attitude) we were listening to "Don't believe the Hype" and all the good hits, when you listen to that shit, you get mad at the white man, even pastor Joe who is blond with blue eyes was mad at the white man. I don't know, when I do some serious driving I like to listen to some angry shit, fuck Mozart and Vivaldi.

We got to the retirement home without getting lost (Old pro cab drivers!)in one piece. My grandmother was wondering why the maintenance man is kissing her forehead when I laid one on her, she didn't know who the fuck I was, she is kind of out of it lately. The last time I saw her was for her 90th birthday and she was in a pretty good shape for her age at the time. She didn't say much and I forgot most of my German since I left home years and years ago. I kept rubbing her hair and she kept staring at the pastor while he was reading stuff from the Bible for her, she didn't understand shit but I can tell that she was very pleased and she fell asleep, I kissed her good bye and we left to the hotel. We walked around and hit some bars that night, the next day I spent the whole day with her while the pastor drove back to Frankfurt to visit his old marine friend of his. Saying good bye to my grandmother was a little emotional because I knew it in my heart that it could be the last time I am going to see her alive and it brought back lots of childhood memories when she used to come here and visit us.

I got up yesterday and took a bus to Frankfurt to meet up with pastor Joe, we spent a quite night, had dinner with Jeff (pastors old marine friend) and his wife May. When we boarded the Lufthansa 416 flight home today I was so fucken exhausted I slept all away to Dulles airport, it was supposed to land at 1:05pm and we arrived at 1:06pm and I am happy that I am back home.

To all of you my ex con cabbie friends, all of you drunk night animals, pimps, hookers, hustlers, pushers and my homeless buddies, I can't wait to see tomorrow night. Mommy is back to baby sit your ass.

P.S Thanks to our Albanian cab driver Hakim, who knows his shit in and out about Amsterdam and who put up with our bullshit, you are a real hacker bro! Thanks for the knowledge.

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

Friday, August 04, 2006


I would like to thank everyone who enjoys reading my blog, I appreciate all the nice comments and all the hate mails, and I would like to thank Lug......

"What the fuck Mad Cabbie, you think you won the fucken grammy or some shit, come on man we gotta plane to catch!"

Alright! Alright! Sorry I have to go now.

I love you all.

Mad Cabbie