Wednesday, August 30, 2006

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I have a great well balanced life, I love my life, I have great friends and loving family. I am not rich but I don't worry about money, with the exception of my mortgage I maintain zero debt, so I am not in any kind of pressure. I am still single but I do have a healthy sex life. I am physically active and in a great shape and on top of all this, I love what I do which is driving a cab.

Every now and then like tonight for example, I feel real empty and worthless and question the purpose of my existence and have a philosophical debate with myself, but never suicidal.

"Mad, what the fuck is going on? Are you going to pop yourself? Don't do it Mad! Don't do it! The Redskins are going all a way this season, at least wait until the season is over, and I know gas is expensive but I hear a running engine is the way to go Mad!"

Fuck you man! I am not that weak, but you know what I discovered lately about myself? When ever I feel like shit, I become real irresponsible about my safety while driving my cab at night and do all kind of stupid shit that could put my life in jeopardy. Is it because I am a pussy to do it myself and let some crack head in the back seat of my cab do the dirty work for me?

"Enough with the self analysis bullshit Dr. Freud, We are waiting for your ass at the poker table Mad, are you coming or not?"

I have got to go to this stupid poker game now. Good night!

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

18 comments:

YoJ said...

Man we've all been there, I know the feeling. And the Redskins are going all the way, what? Pfft.

;)

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Mad Cabbie said...

I know Yoj, I am just being a cry baby I think. And yes I do believe the Redskins are going to the show this season, I am going to the opener with my old man! I can't wait.

Anonymous said...

Well, if you're blue, you're blue. I hope you won't do anything to endanger yourself, but everybody gets to sink their own ship. Just hope you keep on sailing. You're a bright light in this city of Satan....and we need all the light we can get.

I only have old lady remedies for these feelings, but i don't think gin and chocolate are really your style. But maybe. give 'em a try. especially the chocolate!!

Peggy's mom

Peggy said...

I know I'm not your mother, its just what I would recommend for any of my own family memebers.

The Next time the miseries hit you, go get some food in you. Not crap junk food either, good food. My boys always feel a little better after they've had a good feed and a nice long sleep.

Jessica said...

Dear Mad,
It must have been something in the air, because all I wanted to do yesterday was crawl under my covers with a bottle of champagne and some magazines.

I hope you are doing better today.

Jessica

YoJ said...

Well, I'll have to follow the Redskins a little bit then. Hell, they've gotta be better than the Titans!

Mad Cabbie said...

Peggys mom: I am doing much better today as a matter of fact I felt real good when I got to a friend's place for the poker game last night. I will try the Gin and chocolate combination for the future and I will let you know. Thanks

Peggy, I will take your's and your mom's advice and have a good meal and then have the chocolate and gin followed by a good night sleep. thanks Peggy.

I am doing pretty good Jess, I hope you are in high gear today. A girl after a bottle of champagne could get in trouble Jessica!

Yoj, The skins looked awful during the preseason but it means nothing. But I think they do have the weapons to get it done this season. Your Titans got rid of a good quaterback, I don't know Yoj!

MJ06 said...

Mad I am glad to read you are better now I am glad you had a good trip and are doing well I am sorry I have not commented in a while I had computer problems and could not check up on what you were up to.

lugosi said...

The Redskins would be a lot better if we could trade the owner to another team.
Speaking of which: Guess you heard about Paramount dumping Tom Cruise. Guess who's going to start bankrolling his movies now? Dan Snyder.

YoJ said...

The Titans don't know what the hell they're doing. A fluke superbowl year, lost by one yard and they're still trying to achieve glory.

They bore me!!

Anonymous said...

The problem is you do not know your true identity in America. Damned if life is like that for you and you just got back from Europe, you watch people fuck in your cab. The earth is in your hands but you do not know what to do with it, again, because you don't know your true identity. Pastor Joe sounds like a white man. Ok if the racism is too much for you to stomach put it this way. There are people dying all over the earth, Iraq, Lebanon, Africa, and in the inner cities of America, and on top of it all they dont have shit. Believe me they are really trying to be happy but these circumstance will not allow it. Now you dont have any circumstances except you refuse to blame anyone that you don't know what your nationality is. Even I beleived you was Ethiopian when you told me.

Mad Cabbie said...

I know who you are Mr. Anonymous, you're the thankless fuck I picked up from Wisconsin avenue one night, that cop had to pay for your fare and you thought he's just another stupid white man. And I had to write a blog about you! am I right? or am I right? hahaha
http://dccabbie.blogspot.com/2006/06/great-cop-thankless-asshole.html

I have an identity crisis? Unlike you who is ashamed to be an American, I am a proud AMERICAN who is born at Walter Reed Army Hospital to a proud black soldier who fought for this country so your ass can get a free education at Gallaudet University. My true Identity is I am a hard working African American, a man of action who is trying to make things happen in America, I am not like you who sits on his ass and blame the white man for your own lack of effort or laziness for that matter you dumm fuck! You are the one who is lost in this world, you don't even have the heart to thank that police officer who paid me for your ride home on that rainy night. I am surprised Gallaudet University gave you a college degree, you can't put two sentences together, I had a hard time understanding what you wrote, you were all over the fucken place. I never told you I am Ethiopian, I know you are deaf but your lip reading technique sucks you should ask Gallaudet U for your money back. You just assumed all cab drivers are Ethiopians. Listen you asshole I was at a card game the other night and that basement looked like a UN convention, there were cab drivers from all over the world, everyone there were proud of their nationalities including my AMERICAN self. There is war all over the world like you said Mr. revolutionary, so what the fuck you want from me? Stop living? But I try to make a difference in my community by volunteering, I bet you don't know what it means, look it up in the dictionary you jack ass! Are you still having these wet dreams about robbing a bank with a police cruiser like you told me the last time? Don't tell me I don't know what to do with this earth, ask yourself that question. And remember watch what you write in this comment board in the future because I know exactly where you live. 6** Florida Avenue NE, right? I do have a sharp mind, at least you should give that! So you are not Mr.Anonymous anymore.

Mad Cabbie said...

Lug, sorry I got carried away with that asshole, I had a nice email from a person I care about yesterday and I was in a good mood and everything until this dumm ass butts in....I read that article about Dan and Tom, what's up with Dan man? he is so in to super stars, you remember Dieon Sandares who stole $8 Mill check from him, I guess he will never learn!

Mad Cabbie said...

Yoj, I was watching your former quaterback Steve Mcnair playing for the Ravens last night! He is kicking ass!!

kilgorsky said...

Mad, in reference to your post, everyone's been there. I can usually keep it together but there are days when I'm the cry baby. Nothing to be ashamed of, I guess.

Have a good one.

Mad Cabbie said...

Good thing you are a drummer Kilg, you can bang the shit of your drums when you feel blue.

How you've been brother?

YoJ said...

Yep- McNair is the man. We fudged that one, but eh... such is the life of sports. Greg Johnson & Danny Markov from the Predators signed a one year deal with the Detroit Red Wings- talk about pouring salt in your wound! GAH!