Wednesday, August 23, 2006

VOICE MAIL

First night out for work last night and as expected like any last two weeks of August it was very slow. I hanged out with few fellow drivers at Georgetown Cafe and bullshit. At one point we were talking about why it is impossible for humans to live in peace without war and killing each other, I kind of agree most conflicts start due to the dictation of feelings and emotions rather than reasonable logic and then the big EGO takes over and then there is no end in site. I have a friend or used to be a friend who is having a beef with me and I see that person acting like a child and doing some stupid shit letting emotions and ego take over instead of behaving like an adult to communicate and resolve, or agree to disagree. This is the problem we are facing in this planet today and...

"Come on Pluto we're falling asleep here! Enough with your bullshit philosophy, how about some interesting funny shit? I know it was a slow night, but Jesus, you're boring us to death!!!"

Okay you jackass you don't want to read on what I have to say? Well here are some of the interesting messages I received through my voice mail while I was away:

A pimp (my regular rider) who was pissed off that I was gone on vacation without telling him and not going to be at his party:

"Listen you motherfucken nigger, I heard you and that fucken red neck pastor are vacationing in Amsterdam? I don't believe this shit! We just talked three days ago and you didn't say shit about going on a motherfucking vacation, Its like that ah? I invite you to this dope ass party with pussy all over the place and you're too good to say your ass is not coming! You two motherfucking fagotts are going to hore for me when your ass gets back in town bitch! Hold on Mad, DON'T YOU SEE I AM ON THE PHONE BITCH!!!Like I said motherfuckers, you two bitches are going to work overtime for me! And tell that cracker I said hi, I will see you when you get back ladies"

A married dude I know who wanted to know where to take his hottie girlfriend in Maryland:

"Hello Mad, this is ******** Dude I am trying to take this chick some where nice to have a drink in Maryland, some where far in the woods where I don't run in to people I know, you know what I mean, low key but a nice place like a neighborhood bar or some shit. Please call me back as soon as you get this message, God you should see the tits on this broad! Call me back! Thank You!" Where the fuck are you anyways? Shouldn't your ass be working this time of the night?

Ethiopian cab driver I know trying to hook me up with an Ethiopian chick and wants me there ASAP, He knows I have a hard on for Ethiopian women:

"Listen Motherfucker, this is your lucky night asshole so you better show up, I tried calling you home and no answer! Where the fuck are you? I am at "Langano's" with a bunch of friends and I met this Ethiopian girl I used to know back in LA and she just moved here, she is too fucken tall for me so I told her about you and she wants to meet you, Look Mad, this chick is smoking hot and every motherfucker is staring at her so you better be here quick, we're going to hang here until two. Later!"

Some drunk regular passenger wanted a ride home and didn't know where he was 3 in the morning:

"Hey Mad, where the fuck are you? Oh, shit..I am some where in Rockville I think..fuck man...Maybe its Bethesda man...How the fuck I got here man? this bitch ditched me man, fucking slut...Alright dude I will be waiting for you...Shit, fucking bitch!"

I called this dude last night and he has no recollection about leaving this message but he is okay now.

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie

5 comments:

Peggy said...

You guys have taken swearing to a whole new level! (impressed)

henry said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
kilgorsky said...

Man, I need to make friends with a pimp.

This dude rocks.

DC Cab Rider said...

See, that's when you get a cell phone, then tell them you'll "be right there"

lugosi said...

More wars have been fought in the name of God than for any other reason.