Saturday, September 30, 2006


"Several members of the Republican leadership have now admitted to knowing for nearly a year that Rep. Foley engaged in email exchanges with a sixteen-year-old former House page. These members, including Majority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) and Reps. Rodney Alexander (R-LA), John Shimkus (R-IL) and Tom Reynolds (R-NY) have all claimed that they failed to take action because the boy’s parents did not want to pursue the matter. The decision not to investigate further left other House pages unprotected and vulnerable to a potential sexual predator."

Mr. Foley was the chairman and one of the House members credited with writing the sexual-predator provisions of the "Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act of 2006". How ironic is that? John Walsh is probably throwing up on the set of American Most Wanted right now! and how about of those clown house members trying to protect this asshole just because the family didn't want to pursue the matter? What a joke! It's hypocrisy at it's best and Washington is full of it.

And here is another jack ass, William "Mr Moral & Value" Bennett and what he wrote after George Bush won the second term, preaching about the importance of value while he was pissing away $1Million of his family's money in Las Vegas. By the way years ago I drove this fat boy to his home in Chevy Chase, that's one big dude who loves his pasta and after I dropped him off I think I drove straight to the MIDAS shop to get my rear shocks checked.

"In the end, it is not really debatable what happened in this election. Values mattered. And as President Clinton realized long ago, when it comes to national elections, values very well may matter most. He may not have governed by the values we agree on, but he understood how to run a campaign and, at least, speak to values (even if he could not live by them). President Bush knew how to do both, John Kerry did not even know how to speak to them." By: William J. Bennett Wednesday, Jan 05, 2005

Please don't be surprised and disappointed about the hypocrisy in Washington, I know I am not because it's nothing new and it's all over the country. Just to give you an example, When I drive my cab at night I pick a lot of men who are in town for business from their hotels and some want to go to those gay clubs and bath houses right behind the Capitol building in south east . They enter those clubs hiding behind a cover of a strange town discreetly at night and with their heads down because most of these macho men are married with a shinny ring and usually in to gay bashing during the day. POOR WIVES!!!

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006


They got in to my cab from the Palm restaurant on 19th street, two guys and a woman corporate types, I say in their forties. They wanted to go to the Washington Hilton drop the woman first and continue on to the Woodley Park Marriott where the guys are staying.

The woman was their boss and they were talking about how their meeting went and touching base about the next day's meetings. This woman was intelligent, articulate, respectful and knows her shit and also was very polite to her associates. The guys were very responsive and kissing her ass as you people in the corporate world usually do to climb that golden ladder. After she thanked them for the great job performance and the fun night they had she exited the cab to her hotel and I pulled away from the lobby out to Connecticut avenue towards the Marriott with the two dudes.

Not even ten seconds passed after she left the cab, these motherfuckers started bad mouthing her, "What a cunt!" said one of the guys "The bitch thinks we're idiots" replied the other. With in that short ride to their hotel those retards talked about how everything she was doing was wrong and their ideas would have worked better, and I remember very well that she even mentioned that she was open for suggestion and those retards didn't say shit. I am almost sure if that woman was some country club male jack ass their opinion of him would have been different.

Listen ladies, I don't care how intelligent you are, I don't care if you run NASA, IBM and GOLDMAN SACHS all together, I don't care how many tricks you can do with your pussy, as a woman you are still the Rodney Dangerfield of the man's world so you are not getting that RESPECT yet no matter how highly you think of yourself.

Men are are paranoid of opinionated and bright women and that's why Hillary Clinton is not likable, it's not because she stuck her nose in her husband's business when she was the first lady. In fact Nancy Reagan did more sniffing around the presidency by doing some stupid astrology crap and manipulated her husband than any other first ladies in modern American history but she turned out to be the darling old chick of the right wing. Hillary Clinton as the first lady, all she did was came up with some ideas to overhaul the fucked up health care system we have here in this country, not hire an astrologist like Nancy but she got crucified for it and they brain washed you women to hate her ever since. Look what that fat chin motherfucker Jerry Falwell said about Hillary! nothing intelligent to say besides saying that she is the devil and I haven't came across any person with an intelligent response on why they hate her. Other than her being a liberal like most democrats are which is nothing out of the ordinary, I can understand if conservatives don't like her for that reason but I do believe men in general are intimidated by women like Hillary.

If I was a female I would simply give her my vote just because she is a WOMAN! and its time for our society to understand what women contributed to our civilization and that chicks are capable of running this world and what a better way to send your message by giving a woman a chance to the most powerful position on this planet.

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

Monday, September 25, 2006


I worked during the day time yesterday because I didn't work Saturday night. For you cabbies who drive the day shift? I don't know how you deal with the traffic day in and day out, you really earn your money. I will stick to my night adventure for now and I know that I might get stabbed every now and then but look at the bright side, I don't have to face the heavy traffic on my way to the emergency room!

I picked up a real estate agent around 13th and Massachusetts avenue and she wanted to pick up her clients at their apartment at 16th and R and wanted me to stay with them for three hours while she showed them few houses. After we negotiated the charge for the fare we picked up her clients, married young white couple who just moved to the area from New Mexico a few months ago. One of our stops was some where around 2nd and Rhode Island avenue north east and the agent was telling them it's an "up and coming neighbourhood" which is a code word for "in a few years all the poor black folks will be gone!" wink! wink!. The way she was describing the area was as if it was a hidden treasure in Washington, yeah right! and that bitch was lying her ass off to those couple left and right and on top of that the piece of garbage shoe box she showed them costs $480,000!

Now I am thinking about starting up a real estate consulting firm for potential house or condo hunters in DC. Before you see an agent who's going to bullshit your ass off to make a quick buck, you come to Mr. Mad Cabbie for a non bias opinion and he will tell you how many used condoms you will find in front of the door of your new house in the morning when you walk out to pick up your paper, and he will also tell you to make sure not to walk out bare feet and step on those used needles, and of course Mad will advice you to have the seller to throw in free bullet proof vests just to give you and your partner the peace of mind.

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006


Years ago when Washington D.C used to be labeled "The Murder Capital Of The World", I picked up an old Jewish woman from Connecticut at Union Station around ten at night and she was here in town to celebrate her granddaughter's Bat Mitzvah and wanted to go to the Kemp Mill section of Silver Spring. Granny was telling me how she was nervous about coming to DC at night because of the huge negative publicity that the city was getting. So trying to be a great ambassador to our city I was explianing to her that the media was really blowing it out of proportion, and like any other big city we do have our problems but nothing out of the ordinary and that I felt safe driving around the city all night long.

Mad, You lying motherfucker! why didn't you unbutton your shirt and showed her the bullet proof vest you were wearing and the big ass commercial size pipe you hide under your seat, and by the way what's up with that sorry ass pipe? you should pack heat like those bad ass Jamaican cab drivers! It's a war out there Mad Cabbie not a fucken plumbing job!

In about five minutes in to our trip after I gave her all the assurances that she will be alright and while we were trying to cross Michigan avenue on North Capitol street, some dudes who were riding in a Chevy Caprice in front of us pulled out an automatic shot gun and pumped some bullets in to another Toyota driven along side them and they sped off north. The driver of the Toyota, I think he got smoked badly and crashed in to a closed corner store while the poor old lady in my back seat was screaming, crying, and farting. To be honest with you she might had an accident in her pants because the smell wasn't pleasant at all.

My conscious suggested not to continue driving north on North Capitol street because they might be waiting for my ass some where down the road to knock off a potential witness, fuck that! so I turned off my cabbie cruiser light and hooked right on Taylor street, got back on Michigan avenue and I flew top speed in to Silver Spring through Hyattsville. It was one of the most difficult driving I ever made, I thought every car behind me was following me to smoke my ass and during all this, that old fossil in my back seat wouldn't stop farting, screaming and crying and it drove me crazy I had to yell at her "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" a couple of times, I am sorry I said that to an old lady but hey! I was fucken nervous too.

When we arrived at her Son's neighbourhood she calmed down a bit, I pulled up to the driveway and took her bags to the door and explained to her son what happened and that his mother was real upset. After I got paid I told her to enjoy the party and her stay in Washington and left. Even though that lady was only my second pick up of the night, I wasn't in the right set of mind to continue working so I drove straight home.

The next morning I took a look at the post and there was a couple of few words mention and may he rest in peace. And any law enforcement dudes trying to get in touch with me about this shit, it happened in 1992 and be adviced that I don't have any detailed recollection about the incident so fuck you!

But I do appreciate if you don't forget the homeless though.

Mad Cabbie.

Monday, September 18, 2006


I pretty much can drive you to any shit hole address in Washington DC without getting lost but every now and then at night some passengers want to go far in to Maryland and Virginia. I know most of the surrounding suburban neighbourhoods of Washington but there are places that I am not used to, and getting out of some of these places after I drop my passengers could be real tricky. Most experienced cab drivers have a built in compass in their heads, they drop people at places where they have to make all kind of lefts and rights and drive back to the main roads with no confusions.

I have two tricks: 1) I start to count my lefts and rights and the streets in between when I am ready to drop off to unfamiliar neighbourhood and do the reverse count until I get to the main road. Easy! 2) I am an overnight driver so I always look for the brighter skies because usually the main roads are well lighted so I follow the fucken light like the three wise men until I find the street I know.

Mad, in case you didn't know 2300 B.C the Babylonians came up with an invention that can help you with directions and it's been improved and still in use for almost the last 5000 years, you can buy it at your local 7-11 and it's call a MAP you retard! what's this following the stars and street lights bullshit?

Fuck you! you think I don't know that? I have all kind of maps in my bag but I won't make myself vulnerable parked at dark side street checking my map out in a place that I don't know, so you can sneak up on me to rob and shoot my ass. Can you imagine the headline in the Washington Post metro section the next morning? It wouldn't look sexy: "LOST CABBIE SHOT KILLED WHILE LOOKING AT HIS MAP". Other pro cabbies like Lugosi will have a field day with that sorry ass news.

That's what I did last night after I dropped off some drunk chick in Kensington. We zig zaged about seven turns from Connecticut avenue to get to her house at some dead end street behind the Mormon church. After I saw her stumbled her way in to her house safe, I just followed the church's bright light towards Kensington parkway and I knew how to pick up Connecticut avenue from there, and off to the nation's capital. My navigation skills may be thousands of years old but the trick still works fine.

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

Thursday, September 14, 2006


I know I am not that sharpest tool in the shade, my IQ is a little over the current temperature but please stop giving me those lame fucken excuses on why you're going to those shady neighborhoods at three in the morning when you trying to get your coke, crack, meth, pot, or what ever hell you are smoking because I don't give a shit, all I care is getting paid up front going in to those joints and usually the rides are round trip.

At 2:52 am I was dispatched to 35th street in Georgetown and picked up two passengers who wanted to go 2nd street in south west near the water front which is pretty much a project. You can find any drug you may want to fry your brain with in that shit hole and for your convenience the pharmacists are walking the streets 24 hours a day, they don't wear white coats but they do have loaded guns in case you forget to pay them.

My passengers were clean cut white couple in their twenties and were in a hurry to get their fix. The guy was already stoned he wasn't saying much and the chick was doing all the talking and let's call her "J"

J: Can you take us to 2nd and P south west?
ME: Sure
J: I have to give my friend some money, she have to take an early train to NY.
ME: I see!
J: I can't believe she woke me up this time at night?
ME: You are a good friend uh?
J: How much is the fare?
ME: $12.30
J: So round trip is 24 something?
ME: No, I will give you 10 minutes wait and I need $50 total.
J: Why so high? Are you trying to ripp us off?
ME: Listen, stop with that my friend catching a train bullshit, I know why you're going there and I don't care. If you want me to wait for your ass risking my safety you have to pay accordingly, otherwise just pay the one way $12.30 and wait for another cab!

I know they are not going to wait for another cab in the projects three in the morning, they have a better chance surviving walking around down town Baghdad. The boyfriend reached for his wallet and handed me $50 and told her to stop arguing. Am I charging higher? Yes. Is it justified? I will let you be the judge but I did tell them up front and why.

When we got to south west near the hustlers corner I double parked my cab with my gear on drive while the boyfriend went out and bought his shit. He didn't stay too long and we got the fuck out of there quick. When we returned back to Georgetown the boyfriend was nice enough to throw in another five bucks and asked for my cell phone number for their future trip, but next time I will take them to a place where the hustlers know me by name and his girl doesn't have to bullshit me anymore.

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006


Ali is one of my best cabbie friend. They call him "Ali two fingers". After getting his degree in physics in Pakistan he decided to be a butcher and not by choice as you may know, and I don't need to tell you why he has only two fingers left in one of his hands. Ali claims that he used to be one of the best butchers in his village but I don't think his missing fingers testify to that claim. Sometimes I call him "the stick'em up man" having only his thumb and index finger his hand always looks like he is doing the stick'em up bit.

About six years ago he picked up two well dressed Latino guys at the corner of 16th and K streets around 8 o'clock at night. They wanted to go to around Briggs Channey road which is far north in Silver Springs Maryland, they agreed to pay $40 fare and paid him with a hundred bill in advance, after getting a $10 tip he gave them their $50 change and started driving north on 16th street towards Maryland. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

As a cabbie, I don't care if your passengers are mother Teresa and Jesus Christ holding hands coming out of a church, you never admit that you have a change for a $100. That could be a life costly rookie mistake. You just drive the passenger to a place where they can get their own change and make an extra buck or two doing that. The law in DC is a cab driver should have a change for $20 max that's it or you don't have to transport the passenger at all.

To make the long story short when they got to the destination which was the back of an apartment complex one of the passengers pulled out an ugly big ass gun pointed it to the side of his head while the other asshole robbed him. After taking all his money including that $100 bill, they pistol whipped his ass until he was unconscious and left him in the parking lot for dead and drove off with his cab. Ali was lucky that night that he wasn't shot dead and a car almost ran over him before the lady stopped and called Montgomery county police.

When Ali woke up he found himself at Suburban hospital with lots of pain, he had a cracked skull, a crushed jaw and a couple of teeth knocked out. It took him about a couple of months to recover and get back to work, and Ali always say that those two months are the only moments that he missed his butcher days in Pakistan. Didn't I tell you cab driving is fun!

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006


I was at the Redskins game with my old man last night. The highlight of the game for me was watching the cheerleaders, that Anabel chick, hubba! hubba! hubba! Thank God she was doing her thing at our side of the stadium. My dad had to smack me over the head a couple of times to have me pay attention to the game. You know what, I have been a Redskins fan ever since I can remember and I think we have a painful long season ahead of us with Mark Brunell at quarterback, he was throwing these pathetic screen passes all night long, he wasn't even checking his second and third go to guys. Enough with my sorry ass analysis but my prediction is going to be as long as Mark Brunelll is at the trigger the skins are going to go 1-3 the first four games 1-3 the next four and 2-2 the following games and 2-2 the final four games to finish off the season 6-10. I am sorry to be so pessimistic but from what I have seen so far it doesn't look pretty, I know it's just only the first game of the season but I am not sure if you can win ball games in the NFL without a consistent quarterback. One thing I know for sure is I could have bought the state of Rhode Island with the money I spent on hot dogs and beers.

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

Friday, September 08, 2006


I was at the starbucks on Wisconsin Avenue near Newark street this morning waiting in line to get some coffee, and the person behind me was breathing very heavily that I have to turn around and look and see who is going to have a heart attack and fall on my ass. She was a female DC police officer from the 3rd district, she has to be at least 60-70lbs overweight, and thinking about her job description her weight has to be an issue in performing her duties.

I know some of you are going to give me a lot of crap about this, but political correctness is just destroying this country, I know weight is a very sensitive issue and terminating someone based on how heavy they are could be defined as discrimination. But how about when those extra pounds get in the way of the performance you should have when they hired you as a police officer in the first place? How is she going to run after the bad guys? I could knock off that Sun Trust Bank next door and by the time she draws her service weapon I could be already in the Virgin Islands enjoying my umbrella drinks sitting next to some hot chick!

What I am saying is this, you could be the president of the United States or work thousand of other jobs and perform perfectly being obese, but there are some jobs out there that could be physically demanding and that includes being a police officer, which requires the discipline to be in shape at all times like an athlete because others count on you including your own partner.

I have a DC police officer friend, Officer L who reads my blog. I know he is going to give me a lot of shit for this post, but this is the truth L and you know it. And by the way don't forget to pay up on that silly football bet you made on last nights NFL opener! $20 Kiching! Kiching! And I will see you tonight.

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

Thursday, September 07, 2006


Raising Dollars and Sense
A Fundraiser to Support DC's Street Paper

The Facts
When:Thursday Sept. 28, 2006 from 7pm to 10pm
Where:Josephine Butler Park Center, 2437 15th Street, NW (Closest Metro: Columbia Heights)
How Much: $20 minimum
What: Silent Auction, food, Drinks, Entertainment & More!

Street Sense, the Washington area's newspaper about poverty and homelessness, will hold its first fundraiser September 28, 2006.

This inaugural event will take place at the Josephine Butler Park Center in Columbia Heights.

Not only will there be hardy appetizer, beer, wine, and non-alcoholic drinks, attendees will also get a chance to bid on some great silent auction items. Dozens of items are expected and already include a weekend on the Eastern Shore, a set of running clothes and shoes, a handyman for a day, and a gift certificate to Cafe St. Ex.

Vendors will also be performing poetry readings, and you will also get a chance to see the new Street Sense training and informational videos.

This all comes for the low minimum price of just $20 per person.

Not only will you be supporting an organization that provides immediate income to men and women on the street to help them out of homelessness, but you will also be helping raise awareness about the issues that face the city's poor and homeless.

Tickets must be purchased in advance and you can do so via the links below or by mailing a check (including the number of tickets you wish to purchase) to 1317 G Street NW, Washington, DC 20006.

Thank you
Street Sense.


So let's skip going out this weekend and help out our brothers and sisters, you should understand not all homeless folks are drug addicts and drunks, these are people who are trying hard to stay off the street, read some of the stuff on their web site. And don't forget that millions of Americans could face the same problem with in months of losing our jobs, so get you ass up and click on the link below and lets get busy.

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

P.S For the right generous amount of donation I might let you kick me in the balls.**

**Street Sense is not responsible for the above sick statement made by Mad Cabbie.

Monday, September 04, 2006


Ever since we returned from our vacation in Europe with my friend Pastor Joe, the conversation between the pastor and I is about opening up euro style big ass night club. The pastor has always dreamed of establishing a neighborhood style corner drinking pub where everyone knows each other, but after all those visits to different night clubs in Amsterdam he was quite impressed and his dream kind of upgraded to opening up the first real night club in DC. Washington DC doesn't have a night life, and like I said before, as a veteran cabbie who drives all night I can tell you that Washington DC is a quiet southern town with a few bars tagged along with some sorry ass dance floors on the side, that's all. The closest night club to us is about 220 miles north.

Pastor is a dreamer with full of ideas, I kind of fantasize every now and then myself but it's usually about movie star chicks like Angelica Houston,

"Angelica Houston? Isn't she like 105 years old? How desperate are you Mad?"

But deep down inside I am a realist, I am in to facts and figures. So I keep telling the pastor a big scale night club for us is out of reach for now and why not focus on his own small scale dream and work his way up. My advice is just like talking to a wall because Pastor is convinced that together we can pull this off even though we never ran or worked in a night club before and don't have the $2Million we might need. Here is one of my nightmare conversation with pastor Joe:

PJ: We can do it Mad! We can do it!
ME: And where the fuck you're going to get $2mill?
PJ: We can easily lock a $1mill loan against our houses?
ME: Fuck you pastor, that's the fastest lane to being homeless.
PJ: Do you wanna do this shit for the rest of your life Mad?
ME: I told you I am pretty much done hacking, I will go to grad school and do some other shit? You think I am joking?
PJ: Yeah, I am pretty sure the head hunters will be fucking impressed in your 16 years of cab driving on your resume to complement your Masters degree.
ME: Fuck you bitch, thanks for your support asshole.
PJ: Your ass is going to be sorry a couple of years from now Mad, when my bouncer rejects your ass to get in to my club! Don't cry then, because I will be busy in my VIP lounge doing one of the Hilton sisters! And I will put my money saying your ass will still be driving a cab looking for fares infront of my club.
ME: What ever Pastor!
PJ: What ever!
ME: Fuck, and I wanna get married and have a family, fuck you and your night club!
PJ: You said that ten years ago you jackass and that chink is not going to marry your ass!
ME: Don't call her a chink you racist redneck, you're talking about a woman who could be my wife!
PJ: OKAY, oriental or is it Asian American? Or what ever they call themselves these days, she's not marrying you, you should have dated the other bitch you've been talking online you loser!
ME: You could be a fucken dick sometimes, you know that pastor? I should get up and bitch slap your ass!!!
PJ: I was just looking out for you little girl! And this is the thanks I get? I taught you every shit you know motherfucker, and was I ever wrong? NO! Including this night club I am talking about, we better get busy man, fuck grad school and fuck marriage, I've been there before and it sucks. You have a great life you just don't know it yet. You better think hard about this club, it's our meal ticket to easy street...... I will have the Spanish omelet extra spicy a large orange juice and a large coffee, what are you having Mad?
ME: I will have the usual Julie, Thanks.

Welcome to my nightmare and don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

Saturday, September 02, 2006


It was a shitty rainy night but business was pretty good, We were busy the entire night. There wasn't even time to have the nightly coffee moment with the Pastor and the crew to bullshit a little bit.

I was driving a group of American University chicks back to their dorms from Dupont, the one who was sitting next to me was very quiet and I can tell she wasn't feeling good. She consumed more than she can handle and kept breathing funny, when we got around the vice president's mansion I slowed down and said, "Listen, if you you're not feeling well and want to throw up I will pull over right now! Don't puke in my cab and make this ride real expensive that you won't be able to afford to party for the rest of the month!"

She didn't hesitate for a second, I pulled over quick and she got out and puked a pile of crap right infront of Dick Cheney's place. When she returned back to the cab, boy that post puke smell! I never let anyone smoke in my cab but this time I requested that they smoke. It's the best way to get ride of that rotten stink.

I sped off real fast so that the secret service agents don't hassle my ass. I hope Mr. Cheney will take a look at that pile of vomit when he wakes up in the morning, courtesy from one of the future leaders of America.

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.