Monday, September 04, 2006


Ever since we returned from our vacation in Europe with my friend Pastor Joe, the conversation between the pastor and I is about opening up euro style big ass night club. The pastor has always dreamed of establishing a neighborhood style corner drinking pub where everyone knows each other, but after all those visits to different night clubs in Amsterdam he was quite impressed and his dream kind of upgraded to opening up the first real night club in DC. Washington DC doesn't have a night life, and like I said before, as a veteran cabbie who drives all night I can tell you that Washington DC is a quiet southern town with a few bars tagged along with some sorry ass dance floors on the side, that's all. The closest night club to us is about 220 miles north.

Pastor is a dreamer with full of ideas, I kind of fantasize every now and then myself but it's usually about movie star chicks like Angelica Houston,

"Angelica Houston? Isn't she like 105 years old? How desperate are you Mad?"

But deep down inside I am a realist, I am in to facts and figures. So I keep telling the pastor a big scale night club for us is out of reach for now and why not focus on his own small scale dream and work his way up. My advice is just like talking to a wall because Pastor is convinced that together we can pull this off even though we never ran or worked in a night club before and don't have the $2Million we might need. Here is one of my nightmare conversation with pastor Joe:

PJ: We can do it Mad! We can do it!
ME: And where the fuck you're going to get $2mill?
PJ: We can easily lock a $1mill loan against our houses?
ME: Fuck you pastor, that's the fastest lane to being homeless.
PJ: Do you wanna do this shit for the rest of your life Mad?
ME: I told you I am pretty much done hacking, I will go to grad school and do some other shit? You think I am joking?
PJ: Yeah, I am pretty sure the head hunters will be fucking impressed in your 16 years of cab driving on your resume to complement your Masters degree.
ME: Fuck you bitch, thanks for your support asshole.
PJ: Your ass is going to be sorry a couple of years from now Mad, when my bouncer rejects your ass to get in to my club! Don't cry then, because I will be busy in my VIP lounge doing one of the Hilton sisters! And I will put my money saying your ass will still be driving a cab looking for fares infront of my club.
ME: What ever Pastor!
PJ: What ever!
ME: Fuck, and I wanna get married and have a family, fuck you and your night club!
PJ: You said that ten years ago you jackass and that chink is not going to marry your ass!
ME: Don't call her a chink you racist redneck, you're talking about a woman who could be my wife!
PJ: OKAY, oriental or is it Asian American? Or what ever they call themselves these days, she's not marrying you, you should have dated the other bitch you've been talking online you loser!
ME: You could be a fucken dick sometimes, you know that pastor? I should get up and bitch slap your ass!!!
PJ: I was just looking out for you little girl! And this is the thanks I get? I taught you every shit you know motherfucker, and was I ever wrong? NO! Including this night club I am talking about, we better get busy man, fuck grad school and fuck marriage, I've been there before and it sucks. You have a great life you just don't know it yet. You better think hard about this club, it's our meal ticket to easy street...... I will have the Spanish omelet extra spicy a large orange juice and a large coffee, what are you having Mad?
ME: I will have the usual Julie, Thanks.

Welcome to my nightmare and don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.


Red said...

We all have dreams like that but only the ones with balls make it happen.
I've even dreamed of opening a bar. I have the name and theme all ready.
Night clubs are a dime a dozen and don't last long.

Crabbie said...

Your nightmare is a lot like my nightmare. The bit about grad school, headhunters/resumes, and marriage is like the holy grail of my insecurities.

kilgorsky said...

I'm too pragmatic and rarely get carried away. But some dreams do come true; a few years after graduating from high school and beating the crap out of my drums I decided to go to college and a couple years later, having an MA I work in high school, enjoying the job like nothing else. Who would have though, everyone around had expected me to end up doing a minimum wage job--teaching almost is but that's a different story.

Mad Cabbie said...

Maybe there is this new bar in the making Red, and you are our new partner and we will call it:

What was the name you picked for that dream bar of yours, Red?

Crabbie, I must say we cabbies kind of use the same playbook, our life stories are pretty much alike!

You've got to be the coolest dude working for that high school Kilg, My hats off to you if you love what to do. I love what I do for a living but its time for change of lifestyle. The month of September is a very big month for me, lots of decisions need to be made.

MJ06 said...

Mad your quiting cab driving?

Anonymous said...

OK, bar advice from grandma, who hardly ever goes/went to bars except when she was newly married in northern Wisconsin. My bar experience generally has been severely limited, but Albuquerque had some great bars (and may still have 'em)...They were more like big dance halls that served likker, and they had at least a DJ but sometimes a live band on weekends. Loved going there to do western 2-stepping and all that. I can't remember if they had food beyond snacks (doubt it), but they were lots of fun.

The closest thing to this that they might have had in DC was Tracks, but that's gone. Tracks had a volleyball court outside and an OK-sized dance floor, and some pool tables. I know it was for G&Ls, but so wot. It was a great place to go meet people if you were new to town (as I was 15 years ago). Where else you gonna meet em? In church???

Anyway, do let me know, Mad Cabbie, if you take up bar owning....I'll drag/drive all my friends there, and we'll drink up a storm--that's where you make the dough. I know that from working in a restaurant in Mt. Vernon, Iowa. We made 8x at the bar wot we did with the food, and we dint have to cook it!!

Peggy's mom

Anonymous said...

we'll have our own granny section--gray haired, hard-drinkin, big-tippin....we'll keep the place afloat for the young and cool.....

Peggy's mom

lugosi said...

Nothing wrong with Angelica Houston. Heck, sometimes I fantazize about that woman who played old Rose in "Titanic."

Red said...

I'm not telling!

Anonymous said...

You, Mad, are too much. You keep giving me that same Walter Reed shit, it is starting to sound rehearsed like Scarface. My education wasn't free, but it damn sure was worthless. I know you are proud to be an American, you memorized all the party slogans through the 70's, 80's, and 90's. I got news for you, you are right I am ashamed to be an American but not as ashamed as ur U.N. cabbie friends. Ask them about their dual citizenships and ask them to see their passportS. If I ever have to set foot in another country I will have no choice but to tell people I am from Tennessee and that's all I can say about anyone in my family.
Run for Mayor with all those slogans of urs, gatdamn, what I am trying to say is there is nothing to make happen here and I'm saying it as calmly as you can imagine. Laziness, Lack of effort, unlike you I have taken the time to take in consider ALL the history before 1776 and Walter Reed hospital. I didnt even want to take a cab that night dude, I would have rather kept the money in my pocket rather than have it broke off to ur DMV messageboard nursing ass. If I had a nickel for everytime someone said I was all over the place about this fake bullshit you call society and about the heavy shit I am desparate to drop on ur ass, I'd be a millionaire. And this all over the place shit is going to pay off one day believe that. AND YOU TOLD ME YOU WAS ETHIOPIAN, YOU LOOKED AT THE CHARM ON MY NECKLACE, THE STAR OF DAVID, AND TOLD ME YOU WERE ETHOPIAN. DIDN'T YOU SAY YOURSELF THAT YOU LIKE TO MAKE UP NATIONALITIES TO YOUR PASSENGERS, Mr. Mission Accomplished. Want me to find it for youI never told you I am Ethiopian, I know you are deaf but your lip reading technique sucks you should ask Gallaudet U for your money back. You just assumed all cab drivers are Ethiopians. Listen you asshole I was at a card game the other night and that basement looked like a UN convention, there were cab drivers from all over the world, everyone there were proud of their nationalities including my AMERICAN self. I get my volunteering in for meaningful causes, Things that are going to last not for thousands of years, but infinitely, if you can grasp that concept like you shift from park to drive. I was just saying that a police cruiser is the missing link when pulling off a heist, and that cop violated procedures by picking me up, it would have been his ass. I just commented because you revealed something so wild and sad, that even though you seem like you got the earth in ur hands with all your properties and your travels to Europe and driving Mr and Miss Daisy(s) that you love so much, American or not, you are bummed out and depressed or whatever it is that you wrote. Thats the plain truth and you speak for everyone that are the same as you are and Im not talking about the Americans, if you can remember, Mr Sharp mind.
If you are so righteous and Im so evil, what is my address gonna do for you. Lastly, one concept that we have not been able to grasp as black people which you say you are proud to be is the United Nations, even though they shake hands and hug and show each other their residences and give each other embassies at favorable rates and do all kinds of business deals that doesn't mean that they are fully prepared to nuke each other to smithereens the next second. Have a wonderful day.

Anonymous said...

and that is "aren't" in case you want to criticize me again.

Anonymous said...

Man, what a jerk that guy is!

Let it go. you'll do yourself mischief getting all worked up like that!


Mad Cabbie said...

MJ, I am getting too old for this shit, when my passengers strated calling me "sir" I THINK it's time to move on. May be in another year or two MJ, not right away!

Peggy's mom, I didn't know you have this wild side of you! Maybe I might get involved with the pastor if he sticks with his original plan of nice little bar, but a huge night club is too much to handle and a huge risk as well.

I dig Old Rose too lug, we do have the same taste I shall say!

You're not telling Red? That means that dream is still alive and well. Lug and myself will be your regulars shmoozing with barista, hopefully you!

Mr.Tennessee, I think I better call you that since you don't to be accused of being American. You are not dropping any heavy shit on my ass, nothing I didn't hear before Mr. Karl Marks. If you're angry with the society you live in, don't sit and cry, get involved and don't worry about what happened before 1776, just learn from it and do your shit NOW, N-O-W, NOW, you dig?
And I know you read every shit I write, at least I keep you entertianed as well as others who read this blog. I write about stupid stuff not some prison style philosophical discussions, so please don't bore us to death. If you want to have some serious debate about what ever you want to talk about email me @ Take care!

Mad Cabbie said...

Peggy, that kid is lost thats all. He will figure things out one day!
How are things in Scotland? maybe I need to start gardening like you, that might calm my ass down!

Anonymous said...

Things are fine here in Scotland, quiet and green. Thanks for asking. If you're thinking about gardening, it's kinda the wrong time of year to begin. Unless of course you've got a greenhouse. Tomatoes in the back window of the cab?

You're healthy, you can read, you've got a job and all your teeth (I'm guessing on the teeth part). Focus on what you've got and not what you don't have. The calm will come.

Kind regards,


Anonymous said...

ha...listen to this kid....she told me about...hmmm...15 years ago that she did not want to live more than 5 minutes away from COWS. so the next thing i knew, she had married an englishman, hauled herself and her boys to the UK, and was parked in a little town in wiltshire. first day i got there, we took a walk, and not even 5 minutes away, there was this beautiful pen with a bunch of those cows that have long horns and long red hair. she can remember their name, i can't. now she lives so close to the freakin cows, she can open her door some mornings and see half a dozen cows belonging to her neighbors standing there eating veggies out of her garden. that's some kinda karma. wish i had it. hope you can have it, too, re YOUR dream.

Peggy's mom

Anonymous said...

highland somethingorothers...the cows, i mean.

peggy's mom

Red said...

You should grow an Amaryllis. They can be fun and beautiful.
If that goes well then move to something else like herbs.
Mint is easy and can be used in drinks (mojitos), salads and salad dressings.