Ever since we returned from our vacation in Europe with my friend Pastor Joe, the conversation between the pastor and I is about opening up euro style big ass night club. The pastor has always dreamed of establishing a neighborhood style corner drinking pub where everyone knows each other, but after all those visits to different night clubs in Amsterdam he was quite impressed and his dream kind of upgraded to opening up the first real night club in DC. Washington DC doesn't have a night life, and like I said before, as a veteran cabbie who drives all night I can tell you that Washington DC is a quiet southern town with a few bars tagged along with some sorry ass dance floors on the side, that's all. The closest night club to us is about 220 miles north.
Pastor is a dreamer with full of ideas, I kind of fantasize every now and then myself but it's usually about movie star chicks like Angelica Houston,
"Angelica Houston? Isn't she like 105 years old? How desperate are you Mad?"
But deep down inside I am a realist, I am in to facts and figures. So I keep telling the pastor a big scale night club for us is out of reach for now and why not focus on his own small scale dream and work his way up. My advice is just like talking to a wall because Pastor is convinced that together we can pull this off even though we never ran or worked in a night club before and don't have the $2Million we might need. Here is one of my nightmare conversation with pastor Joe:
PJ: We can do it Mad! We can do it!
ME: And where the fuck you're going to get $2mill?
PJ: We can easily lock a $1mill loan against our houses?
ME: Fuck you pastor, that's the fastest lane to being homeless.
PJ: Do you wanna do this shit for the rest of your life Mad?
ME: I told you I am pretty much done hacking, I will go to grad school and do some other shit? You think I am joking?
PJ: Yeah, I am pretty sure the head hunters will be fucking impressed in your 16 years of cab driving on your resume to complement your Masters degree.
ME: Fuck you bitch, thanks for your support asshole.
PJ: Your ass is going to be sorry a couple of years from now Mad, when my bouncer rejects your ass to get in to my club! Don't cry then, because I will be busy in my VIP lounge doing one of the Hilton sisters! And I will put my money saying your ass will still be driving a cab looking for fares infront of my club.
ME: What ever Pastor!
PJ: What ever!
ME: Fuck, and I wanna get married and have a family, fuck you and your night club!
PJ: You said that ten years ago you jackass and that chink is not going to marry your ass!
ME: Don't call her a chink you racist redneck, you're talking about a woman who could be my wife!
PJ: OKAY, oriental or is it Asian American? Or what ever they call themselves these days, she's not marrying you, you should have dated the other bitch you've been talking online you loser!
ME: You could be a fucken dick sometimes, you know that pastor? I should get up and bitch slap your ass!!!
PJ: I was just looking out for you little girl! And this is the thanks I get? I taught you every shit you know motherfucker, and was I ever wrong? NO! Including this night club I am talking about, we better get busy man, fuck grad school and fuck marriage, I've been there before and it sucks. You have a great life you just don't know it yet. You better think hard about this club, it's our meal ticket to easy street...... I will have the Spanish omelet extra spicy a large orange juice and a large coffee, what are you having Mad?
ME: I will have the usual Julie, Thanks.
Welcome to my nightmare and don't forget the homeless.