Monday, September 25, 2006

BEFORE A REAL ESTATE AGENT

I worked during the day time yesterday because I didn't work Saturday night. For you cabbies who drive the day shift? I don't know how you deal with the traffic day in and day out, you really earn your money. I will stick to my night adventure for now and I know that I might get stabbed every now and then but look at the bright side, I don't have to face the heavy traffic on my way to the emergency room!

I picked up a real estate agent around 13th and Massachusetts avenue and she wanted to pick up her clients at their apartment at 16th and R and wanted me to stay with them for three hours while she showed them few houses. After we negotiated the charge for the fare we picked up her clients, married young white couple who just moved to the area from New Mexico a few months ago. One of our stops was some where around 2nd and Rhode Island avenue north east and the agent was telling them it's an "up and coming neighbourhood" which is a code word for "in a few years all the poor black folks will be gone!" wink! wink!. The way she was describing the area was as if it was a hidden treasure in Washington, yeah right! and that bitch was lying her ass off to those couple left and right and on top of that the piece of garbage shoe box she showed them costs $480,000!

Now I am thinking about starting up a real estate consulting firm for potential house or condo hunters in DC. Before you see an agent who's going to bullshit your ass off to make a quick buck, you come to Mr. Mad Cabbie for a non bias opinion and he will tell you how many used condoms you will find in front of the door of your new house in the morning when you walk out to pick up your paper, and he will also tell you to make sure not to walk out bare feet and step on those used needles, and of course Mad will advice you to have the seller to throw in free bullet proof vests just to give you and your partner the peace of mind.

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

I travel quit a lot and when ever I want to know things about the area, cab drivers are the first people who I ask and learn from, because you guys have the eagle's eye view of what's going around you.

sean said...

hey man, that's a nice neighborhood. maybe not 1/2 million nice, but everyone's neighborly and its safer than adams morgan.

Mad Cabbie said...

Sean, beside those crack whores behind of the buiding of 200 Rhode Island Ave NE, I am pretty sure everyone is $480,000 worth neighborly!

Cabbie X said...

heheh and the truth shall set you free! So many people could benefit from a chat with a cabbie about their 'nice neighborhood'! man, that's a great idea, come to think of it. Just don't get so busy advising clients that you no longer drive :)

MJ06 said...

Thats a sweat business idea for you I love it.

Angelica said...

Fantastic!

I am an agent in the area, and I cannot tell you how many times I have eavesdropped on conversations between collegues where they describe 'charming row house with tons of potential' and I can't help but think..."why not just let them go live in Baltimore and pay ground rent to some asshole who has been dead for 50 years"...anywho...thanks for putting a fresh spin on cab rides...which I would much rather ride than the Metro...now that everyone uses an iPod, you don't hear idiotic conversations between 20 year olds, about 20 different Lebanese restaurants in Georgetown and how they are ALL authentic.

kilgorsky said...

I'd never buy a house thru an estate agent. I'd just as soon drive to the neighborhood I was interested in and walk around and talk to people.

Anonymous said...

GREAT idea, Mad Cabbie! How about this one: for X$$, you will be a property spotter for folks in the market to buy a house or whatever? When you're ready to start, sign me up!! I know just the kinda place I want, but the real estate agents keep taking me to places where I don't wanna live. I need a NEIGHBORHOOD QUALITY OF LIFE CONSULTANT (that's you!)

Peggy's mom

Twoste said...

So where's the best place to live in D.C.?

CrazyEthiopian said...

TWOSTE, whats the best place to live in DC??..

Glover Park neighborhood.

C.E.

lugosi said...

Sorry, but if I was looking to buy a house and the real estate agent stuck me in a cab, I'd think I'd have to go find another agent.

Mad Cabbie said...

Cabbie X, I will set up my office in my cab so I can hack and consult at the same time. What do you think?

Angelica, "why not just let them go live in Baltimore and pay ground rent to some asshole who has been dead for 50 years" That's some funny shit, you should start your own blog!!

NEIGHBORHOOD QUALITY OF LIFE CONSULTANT : I like that Peggy's mom. I think I should get some biz cards printed with that position.

Kil, before you talk to an agent, I think you should stalk the new area very well and introduce yourself to the pimp who is going to be your next door neighbour!

MJ, I will franchise the biz and I will let you run the Cleveland office.

Twoste: The only places I honestly think of which you can justify the millions they cost are places like Upper Foxhall, Embassy row, Palasades and Spring Valley for the space and security but again that's my personal opinion, otherwise you will get more for your buck outside the city. DC is no New York city, there is nothing to justify to pay millions to live in the city, how many times you go to the Air and Space in a year? But I see people paying big bucks to live off Georgia avenue, maybe they are seeing something I am not!

Crazy Ethiopian, please don't hate me but I call Glover park the "White Ghetto". It reminds me of Langley Park. I hope I didn't upset you that you won't hook me up with an Ethiopian sista!

Mad Cabbie said...

Lug, It's very difficult for an agent to show around houses in DC driving their own car because there is no place to park and it is time consuming. More and more agents are doing the cab thing lately and I guess they pass it on the consumer.