Wednesday, February 27, 2008


Hello Mr. Mad Cabbie,
First off, just discovered the blog, great stuff, really interesting.

Given your profession, I'm wondering if you can answer me a question. Every weekend I wait tables in Adams Morgan. Every weekend I take a cab home. Almost every weekend I have to argue with the cabbie about the price. I've heard the cost is x from the nicer cabbies but I'd like to know once and for all from someone in the know and objective to the situation. I never seem to have this problem when I work on Wed PM and it's the exact same route. Given Adams Morgan on the weekends, maybe they think I'm some dumb drunk girl and whatnot, but as I'm sure you know, after a night of working, the last thing you want to do is argue, you just want to go home. There have been nights when I've gotten into the cab and when I give him the address he says "12.00". I say "ok see ya" and get out. One night, I did this no less than 3 times. You can see how this can get old.

The route is 18th/Belmont, NW area to 1st and North Carolina Avenue, SE (at the corner). My understanding is that D st, SE, the next street over from NC Ave, is the zone line so the trip is 8.80 (well 9.80 with the gas surcharge). Is this correct?

Thanks so much in advance and keep up the good writing! What your doing is really unique to the rest of the blahblahblah that's out there for DC blogs.

Ms E from Capitol Hill

Hi Ms E, I am sorry you have to deal with those clowns. Your fare should be two zones which is $9.80 including the gas surcharge, as long as you are within the boundary of E street to the south and 2nd street to the east (make sure you get off north of E street). Thats how you should explain your driver who supposed to know this anyways. But you have to understand that half of the cabbies you see in Adams Morgan especially during weekends and last call rush hours are illegal out of state drivers with phony licenses out there to make a quick buck by ripping off people and most of them don't know the zone system.

You should never get out of the cab but instead warn the driver that you will call the police and demand that the driver shows you his taxi license. There is no reason to be a dishonest cab driver in DC, we can make a good living without stealing from people who work very hard like yourself. Again I feel your pain and sorry that you have to deal with this crap but at the same time you have the responsibility to fight back by calling the law enforcement.

Better luck next time and thank you for reading my blog.

Mad Cabbie.

I get questions like this every now and then, so if you have any cab related questions that I can help you out with please email me at and if I think it can be helpful to others I will post them with my answers without revealing your name and your email.

Please don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008


Ben is one of the few Jewish cabbies still driving in Washington and he looks like Rick Moranis from the movie "Honey I shrunk The Kids". He left the cab biz about three years ago after he got robbed at gun point. Ben is a strange guy, no one knows about his personal life because he doesn't say much and he is a loner. He used to be fascinated with latest technology, guns and World War-II and I always thought he would be a good candidate to be a serial killer, in fact when we had those Washington area random shootings and killings by those two freaks few years ago, we kind of suspected Ben was the trigger man at one point and we even had are own dumb ass investigation until we cleared him.

As soon as a new technology hit the streets Ben had it! He used to have the most wired cab in town. You could be in Ben's cab running your mouth while your image is being stored at his home server in Rockville. The first time I saw a GPS was in his cab and I think he dropped something like $1500 back then. If you thought you were whispering some conversation with a friend while riding in his cab and you think he is not listening, good luck! The chances are he probably heard all your kinky stories with his surveillance gear.

No driver liked Ben because he doesn't say hello or engaged in any conversation with other drivers but for some reason he likes to hang out with me even though he barley says a word. I tolerate his mood swings and to me he is a very fascinating character and whenever we hang out at the Taste Diner in Bethesda with other drivers, he shows up, takes a seat and stares at us with a little nod and orders the same dumb shit every time! French toast and hot tea.

Three years ago Ben picked up some dudes on East Capitol street and after a few minutes ride they pulled up a gun around 4th and Florida NE and they had him pull up behind one of those wholesale warehouses and robbed his money and all of his gadgets. After a few pistol whippings they threw him in the trunk and took off with his cab with Ben in the trunk. Their first stop? Wendy's drive through at New York and Florida! While they were ordering their shit the motherfuckers were arguing what to do with Ben. If you are wondering why Ben didn't scream for his life? He claims he doesn't remember much and he thinks he might have passed out.

Luck was on Ben's side that night, as soon as they pulled out of the Wendy's parking lot they got involved with a fender bender and they took off running leaving Ben shitting in his pants until the DC cops showed up and rescued his ass. We got the word that night that he was taken to Howard University Hospital so me, Pastor and couple of other drivers rushed to the hospital and what we saw wasn't pretty. They messed up his face real bad but he was lucky to be alive and later helped police to identify those thugs after they got caught the same night. Ben walked away from cab driving and that was the last time I saw him until...

Last Thursday around three in the morning I was chilling at one of our usual spot with couple of Diamond drivers and guess who showed up and our jaws dropped! The legendary High-Tech Ben! and as if he met us the night before he just gave us his usual nod and sat next to me without saying anything. He still ordered the same old French toast and hot tea shit and started staring outside looking at bunch of construction crew.

Welcome back to hacking Ben!

Don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

Sunday, February 24, 2008


I am honored for being the "Blogger of The Month" by Marc Fisher of the Washington Post in his Raw Fisher series. This means a lot to me coming from a professional writer like Marc. I read a lot of local blogs and there are lots of excellent bloggers with great writing skills unlike myself. Even though my vocabulary is limited to 200 words, I always try to deliver interesting posts as possible and I really do appreciate the recognition.

My niece who is in the 5th grade has agreed to edit my stories before I post them so don't be surprised if you notice some quality writings in the future.

I would like to say this: Marc Fisher is probably the only local media figure who sticks up for DC cab drivers even though it's very unpopular to do so these days, and him and I don't agree about the meters vs zone argument and go check out this post of his and read some of personal attacks (including some jackass wishing bad things to happen to Marc and his family) he gets from some of you idiots. Most of you out there are riding the bandwagon of "DC cabbies are the scum of the earth" route, but DC cabbies don't have any more bad apples than lawyers, congressmen or doctors, we are just easy targets to be criticized because we are at the bottom of the food chain.

A couple of nights ago I picked up some drunk chic with a very bad makeup from 5th and Massachusetts Ave NE to Union Station and since we crossed 2nd street NE (Zone line) it is a two zone fare even though the entire ride is six blocks and it took about less than a minute. So two zones $8.80 plus fuel surcharge $1 her total bill was $9.80 and she went nuts calling me everything in the book! Is it expensive? Hell yeah! But what the fuck am I supposed to do? Like most of you out there she is shooting the messenger! When I told her the Capitol Police who was parked next to us could explain it to her since she didn't want to hear how I came with that figure she threw me a $10 bill and slammed my door. Bitch! There were no cabs at the station and people were waiting in line and the next passenger wanted to go all way to Mount Pleasant near Rock Creek Pkwy which is about a 15 minutes ride and paid the same two zones $9.80 even though the ride is much longer, and the guy happily paid his fare with tip! This is the shit we deal with every night and there is always going to be dissatisfied customers who feel that they got ripped off even though I never cheat my passengers like the rest of majority of fine DC cabbies. But those few dishonest motherfuckers gives the whole industry a bad rap, even people who never rode in a cab in their lives think that DC cabbies are crooks. And of course folks always comment about their bad experiences never the good stuff! Let me talk about the driver of Diamond cab #257, just the other day who had to track down his European passengers he picked in front of a building and had to return a bag with valuables including about 2000 Euros they left in his back seat! You think that driver is interested in cheating you out of couple of bucks?

Enough with my whining and let me make my "Blogger of The Month" acceptance speech!

"I thank my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, I thank my man Marc Fisher and the Washington Post, all the fans who read this blog, all my babies mamas all 13 of you even though I don't admit one of them, I thank my parole officer, all my posses, Pastor Joe, Ali Two fingers, Ghost, Mr. Hook, Hustleman Charles, Wall street Tom who isn't with us anymore and he's probably banging Anna Nicole Smith in heaven, High-Tech Ben, all fellow cabbies of the world, the guy I picked up at the corner of 19th and...."

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

Friday, February 08, 2008


Hi, I am Mad Cabbie! and I am here with an offer of a life time to my wonderful fans!!!

Do you hate your job? Are you doing the same dumb ass shit every day? dealing with that fat ugly boss of yours and slaving for peanuts! Do you want to spend more time with your family only working a few minutes a day while making $1,000, $5,000 even $10,000 per week? Do you want to wipe out your debts and retire by next Christmas? If you answered yes, Mad Cabbie has the answer for you.

I put together "Mad Cabbie's Fast Money Machine Technique" home study guide. All you have to do is study the materials at your own pace and you will be on your way to your financial freedom. This study guide includes a couple of books, six part CD, 8 volume DVDs and a workbook. I will show you a step by step guide on how you to buy your first cab with no money, how to bribe and get your taxi license in a few hours and start making money the same day! The income is unlimited it just depends on how many minutes you want to drive your cab in a day. You will learn everything there is about to know about hacking and making sure that your passengers are happy.

I have done it for years and now I would like to share my secrets with you for this one time offer only. If you don't make $10,000 the first day after you receive my package you can return it for a full refund, In fact I will pay for the return postage and no question asked! You won't be disappointed and satisfaction is guaranteed! Please check out what some of my satisfied clients are saying!

"I live in a small Scottish village where people don't even take cabs at all but I still ordered "Mad Cabbie's Fast Money Machine Technique" and the result was unbelievable, I made $1000 the minute the package arrived! Thank you Mad Cabbie, you are amazing!" Peggy from Scotland.

"When we found out that nobody would hire us to run their political campaign and became jobless, we turned to "Mad Cabbie's Fast Money Machine Technique" to be cab drivers in Washington,DC. We followed the step by step cab driving techniques and in a few days we started making shit load of cash and we moved in to this mansion in Potomac, Maryland....You're the greatest Mad Cabbie!" The retards who ran Rudy Giuliani's presidential campaign.

"I ordered Mad Cabbie's package from America to start training now while I am waiting for these bastards at the American Embassy in India to approve my visa. Mad Cabbie promised to have my cab ready** for work when I touch down at Dulles Airport, and so as soon as I arrive in America I will start counting my American Dollars! God bless you Mad Cabbie!" Amitabh Ragukhanimpalamachchabuchaci from Bombay.

Do I need to say more? Listen, When you call in 1-888-TAKEMYMONEY with in the next 30 minutes and order the package I will cut the price by 90% and for only two payments of $15.95 plus $500 shipping and handling I will send you the package plus the list of hot spots where you can pick up whores for your passengers AND for the first 200 callers I will throw in an address of a huge dominatrix chic who can bitch slap Shaquille O'Neal! and your freaky customers will throw money at you for this service.

What are you waiting for? Are you ready to make $10,000* a week? So get your ass up and dial that number! I know, I know, You may have been ripped off by those stock trade and real estate money making guides that didn't deliver but trust Uncle Mad, this time you got yourself a winner.

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie

*Results may vary, it may take up to ten years to make $10,000 thanks to Mayor Fenty and the new DC fare structure.
**Bribe at the inspection stations extra.

Monday, February 04, 2008


That's the big billboard ad I did for the 10th anniversary of the Verizon Center but there is a hidden message as the title of this post suggests for those striking DC cabbies today. Sorry! that big idiot Mad Cabbie is on strike as well, he is probably doing nothing but scratching his balls and staring at the wall of his basement so I am guest blogging for him today.

Most of you DC residents love me for fucking those DC cab drivers up don't you? Fuck them! who cares if they don't make a decent living off the new fare structure? They are the filth of society anyways so what's difference? All that time back in the days I couldn't get a DC cab to stop for me? It's payback time motherfuckers! Who's your daddy now bitch?

Yes that's right no more surcharge for extra passengers! I don't give a shit how many extra fat ass DC residents you have to haul all day long, the ride is free even though the rest of the surrounding counties let their cabs charge for extra passengers! I don't care how many times a year you have to replace your freaken shocks and how many thousands of extra fuel dollars you have to cough up because of the extra loads. And yes that's right, I grew up reading Karl Mark's literatures and that's why you can't charge over the $18.90 celling in my communist DC administration, no matter where you have to drive your passengers in the city! LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION motherfuckers. I have to satisfy just the couple of thousands of emails I received from the whining public so I had to go overboard and slash the shit of your kids education! and who gives a shit that you have to buy your own health insurance! tell that crap to Hillary Clinton!

And who cares about all those 6000 DC cab drivers on strike? Majority of the drivers are those dumb ass Africans, sand niggers and some loser no good Americans like Mad Cabbie so fuck all them clowns man! You bitches strike all you want but right now I am on hold with the Afghani president Hamid Karzai see if he can send me a few thousand ex Mujahedeens I can put in DC cabs.

And I don't give a shit about the homeless, Fuck them!

Adrian "Starve The Cab Drivers" Fenty*

*Mayor Adrian M. Fenty did not participate in writing this post in any way. Written entirely by Mad Cabbie.