A DATE WITH A STAB WOUND

Cab drivers drivers get stabbed and beaten by their passengers more than what you think, it just doesn't make the news desk unless the driver is dead and they have something dramatic to talk about on the 10 O'clock nightly news. On the last post Mr Jackass Mad Cabbie made fun about the scars I have from being stabbed and shot not once, not twice, but from three different incidents while being robbed driving my cab and the third one I remember it like yesterday.

It was a beautiful breezy summer Saturday night of August of 1999, I was ready to go out on a first date with a girl I worked hard for to make the date happen. She was this chick from Minnesota who just moved to DC for her new job and I was so excited for our night out because I really liked this girl. The plan was to hook up at Mr Smith's in Georgetown at 9 pm and get something to eat and head on to Old town Alexandria to check out a local rock and roll band I like but my destiny changed when my date called to change the hook up time to 10 pm instead, so I pretty much had about a couple of hours to kill when she called and I decided to drive the cab for an hour and make few extra bucks instead of sitting on my ass.

The first fare I picked up took me to 17th and East Capitol and while I was pulling up to the curve the motherfucker (probably one of Mad Cabbie's cousins) without saying or demanding anything stabbed me with an eight inch knife in the back of my shoulder once and while he was trying to stick me for the second time I managed to get away with a little cut on my arm, put the car on park, open the door and fell on the ground and while I was getting up screaming trying to defend myself the punk ran away through an alley. My shoulder was hurting and bleeding so I drove myself to DC General Hospital which was a few blocks away. When I got to the emergency room I thought everyone were going to stop what they were doing and rush to treat my sorry ass almost one inch deep stab wound but the fat black chick who was at the counter told me to calm my white ass down because they were attending to patients on a case by case basis and they were quite a few gun shot victims. This hospital was in a middle of crime infested black neighbourhood and I was the only white person in that ER room and everyone was staring at me as if I just landed from another planet, I was screaming my lungs out because they wouldn't see me ASAP and to be honest with you I think it was a reverse discrimination and where was that fucken Johnny Cochran when I needed him.

All that time I wasn't worried about my wounds, the only thing I was thinking about was if I was going to make it on time for the date at Mr Henry's with a chick I worked so hard for to get her attention and the way things were going in that dumb ass ER room it was unlikely that I will be out of there on time so when I noticed that my bleeding stopped I just took off home to clean up, pad it up and change my shirt. While I was driving home I called my man Ghost (The guy with a plastic bag full of weed from our last Saturday's party) Ghost can get you any drug legal or illegal, he's like the pharmacist for the uninsured masses, so I told him that I was just stabbed and meet me up at my house with some strong ass pain killer and antibiotics and he always delivers never fail. Hey by the way Ghost! I am running a little low on my Viagra supplies nigga, so I will call you later!

I showed up at Mr Henry's looking like a football player with my shoulder padded up unprofessionally, It looked so obvious I have to tell her something happened but I didn't tell her that I was stabbed and scare the shit out of her so I made up some lame story about falling on a sharp object. The pain was under control thanks to Dr Ghost but the bleeding started again while I was eating and the waiting staff were freaking out looking at my blood stained shirt so I rushed to the rest room and to my surprise I started bleeding out of control they had to call an ambulance and rushed me to Georgetown Hospital.

When I arrived at Georgetown hospital it was a scene from one of the episodes of ER how they took care of me and to make the long story short after a long stay and some interrogation by the police on how I got the wounds we left the hospital five in the morning with Mad Cabbie and Ali two fingers by my side laughing their asses off. These days I pick and choose who I have in my cab, fuck that! I used to be like Mad Cabbie Mr righteous pick everyone up and do the right thing! No sir I would like to live a couple of more years and go on dates without bleeding all over the fucken place, Mad! you refused to take my advice so it's just a matter of time....tick tock! tick tock! tick tock! until I watch the ten O'clock news with your scary ass picture in the background! and I am not going to do this blog by myself bitch.

P.S There was no second date with that girl! Do you blame her? I don't!

Peace.

Pastor Joe.