Wednesday, September 20, 2006


Years ago when Washington D.C used to be labeled "The Murder Capital Of The World", I picked up an old Jewish woman from Connecticut at Union Station around ten at night and she was here in town to celebrate her granddaughter's Bat Mitzvah and wanted to go to the Kemp Mill section of Silver Spring. Granny was telling me how she was nervous about coming to DC at night because of the huge negative publicity that the city was getting. So trying to be a great ambassador to our city I was explianing to her that the media was really blowing it out of proportion, and like any other big city we do have our problems but nothing out of the ordinary and that I felt safe driving around the city all night long.

Mad, You lying motherfucker! why didn't you unbutton your shirt and showed her the bullet proof vest you were wearing and the big ass commercial size pipe you hide under your seat, and by the way what's up with that sorry ass pipe? you should pack heat like those bad ass Jamaican cab drivers! It's a war out there Mad Cabbie not a fucken plumbing job!

In about five minutes in to our trip after I gave her all the assurances that she will be alright and while we were trying to cross Michigan avenue on North Capitol street, some dudes who were riding in a Chevy Caprice in front of us pulled out an automatic shot gun and pumped some bullets in to another Toyota driven along side them and they sped off north. The driver of the Toyota, I think he got smoked badly and crashed in to a closed corner store while the poor old lady in my back seat was screaming, crying, and farting. To be honest with you she might had an accident in her pants because the smell wasn't pleasant at all.

My conscious suggested not to continue driving north on North Capitol street because they might be waiting for my ass some where down the road to knock off a potential witness, fuck that! so I turned off my cabbie cruiser light and hooked right on Taylor street, got back on Michigan avenue and I flew top speed in to Silver Spring through Hyattsville. It was one of the most difficult driving I ever made, I thought every car behind me was following me to smoke my ass and during all this, that old fossil in my back seat wouldn't stop farting, screaming and crying and it drove me crazy I had to yell at her "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" a couple of times, I am sorry I said that to an old lady but hey! I was fucken nervous too.

When we arrived at her Son's neighbourhood she calmed down a bit, I pulled up to the driveway and took her bags to the door and explained to her son what happened and that his mother was real upset. After I got paid I told her to enjoy the party and her stay in Washington and left. Even though that lady was only my second pick up of the night, I wasn't in the right set of mind to continue working so I drove straight home.

The next morning I took a look at the post and there was a couple of few words mention and may he rest in peace. And any law enforcement dudes trying to get in touch with me about this shit, it happened in 1992 and be adviced that I don't have any detailed recollection about the incident so fuck you!

But I do appreciate if you don't forget the homeless though.

Mad Cabbie.


Eryn said...

Mad, what made you think about this incident?

Mad Cabbie said...

Good question Eryn, not anything in particular, I just thought about it driving somebody on North Capitol street last night, that's all!

Anonymous said...

That would've scared the fart outta me too!

Crazy Ethiopian said...


At first, I thought this shit happened last night ..WOW!!! DC has certainly changed since 1992. I love the city..Keep up the good posts...

Crazy Ethiopian ,from GP

J-Funk said...

I almost had an accident in my pants just reading your blog!

legal alien said...

cabbie ,

welcome to beta blogger.

"she might had an accident in her pants because the smell wasn't pleasant at all."

i hope that it wasnt u that had an accident in his pants!!!

Mad Cabbie said...

Anonymous: The screaming was more annoying than the farting!

Crazy Ethiopian, DC is lovely! so what there are drive by's and shit? and what does GP stands for crazy? Glover Park?

J-Funk, I hope there was a bath room near by!

It wasn't me Legal, I checked for some skid marks in my underwear when I got home but there was no evidence to suggest that mis-happ!


Twoste said...

This is why we have Public Enemy. Just put the tunes in and ride. Ain't no thang baby, ain't no thang.

Mad Cabbie said...

No kidding Twoste, Public Enemy, Wu-Tang, NWA & Co. kick it on my way to work, just to get me ready for the freak show!

CrazyEthio said...

MAD, yes GP=Glover Park..have a nice shift

lugosi said...

Holy crap!! Your story scared me so much I ended up farting!!
Then again, it may have just been that burrito I ate earlier.

Peggy said...

You didn't scare anything out of me. I've been through the desert at night. I've seen the shining star. Cab rides will never frighten me again.

kilgorsky said...

Mad, I too was slayed by the farting thing!

Btw, the Blogger crew must have fixed the comments!

MJ06 said...

That would be pritty scary and probably a little surreal at the same time.

Mad Cabbie said...

Peggy, some hoods in DC make walking in the desert at night, a walk in the park!

Kil, Beta blogger is running smoothly now.

Mj, I am a person who really don't give a shit but that night even Mad Cabbie was scared and running!