Monday, August 21, 2006

BACK HOME SWEET HOME

Thanks to everyone who left nice comments and sent emails to wish me a nice vacation I really do appreciate it.

My vacation wasn't the greatest because I had some personal issues that started to bother me right before I left but I made the best I could out of my trip. I haven't seen my brother for over a year and seeing my new nephew for the first time was a blast. God I wanna have some kids! London was pretty much a family affair, my brother took me to a few cool pubs and I think we got wasted like three nights in a row. I am not a big drinker by no means but I kindda enjoyed my drinking moments during this vacation, so I don't want to be near any kind of alcohol until the next vacation.

Pastor Joe arrived in Amsterdam four hours before I did and I found him at the hotel bar half drunk at one in the afternoon, boy I was so happy to see the holy man. By the way someone emailed me about where to find a cafe to buy the best weed in Amsterdam and let me make myself clear, Mad doesn't smoke weed, and I don't need to fly thousands of miles to get one, while I could get it for free here in our nations capital from my one of the cab riding pusher clients. The last time I smoked that shit was at our high school prom night and I was so stoned I still don't remember being in that party. Weed makes me go blank and throw up, I hated it and I don't need that shit to get high, I am a naturally high person, if you invite Mad Cabbie to one of your lame ass boring party, I would turn it in to a wild ass party revolution and I don't need a drop of alcohol or drug to do that. The reason I enjoy Amsterdam is, it is so cosmopolitan with tons of cool people stoned and sober and I enjoy the night clubs with the best DJs in the world, you think we have night clubs in DC? If you think the "Fur" night club in DC is the hippest joint, you need to get out of the country every now and then, We live in a quite southern town in case you didn't know.

I don't think I ever abused my body like this vacation ever, we pretty much drunk and danced every night, ate all kind of nice greasy food and very little sleep. By the way pastor, thanks a lot for scaring those hot French chicks away while I was rapping to them trying to close the deal, you came up with that dumm ass story about us dancing with those transvestites in South Beach years ago, fuck you pastor, that night only God and I know what I did to relive myself in the bathroom.

"Is it not what you do every night Mad? When is the last time you got laid Mad Cabbie?"

Talking about getting laid, I almost did at this club called Escape, God what a party! This Ukrainian chick wanted to take me home with her but she was taller than I was and I am 6'2" and I kept staring at her crotch because I was suspicious about her womanhood, when she or maybe he went to the powder room with her friend, me and pastor Joe ran out of the club fast. Since the Pastor and I are big Broadway fans we then visited couple of live on stage sex shows, we sat next to these elderly couples probably in their seventies, I was more interested in watching their reactions than the live sex show, I bet they got laid that night.

After about a week in the Netherlands we rented a car and drove to Wiesbaden in Germany to visit my 94 year old grandmother. We were driving a bad ass M3, pedal to the floor, I put in my old NWA cd (For those of you dorks out there NWA is not North West Airlines, Its Niggers with Attitude) we were listening to "Don't believe the Hype" and all the good hits, when you listen to that shit, you get mad at the white man, even pastor Joe who is blond with blue eyes was mad at the white man. I don't know, when I do some serious driving I like to listen to some angry shit, fuck Mozart and Vivaldi.

We got to the retirement home without getting lost (Old pro cab drivers!)in one piece. My grandmother was wondering why the maintenance man is kissing her forehead when I laid one on her, she didn't know who the fuck I was, she is kind of out of it lately. The last time I saw her was for her 90th birthday and she was in a pretty good shape for her age at the time. She didn't say much and I forgot most of my German since I left home years and years ago. I kept rubbing her hair and she kept staring at the pastor while he was reading stuff from the Bible for her, she didn't understand shit but I can tell that she was very pleased and she fell asleep, I kissed her good bye and we left to the hotel. We walked around and hit some bars that night, the next day I spent the whole day with her while the pastor drove back to Frankfurt to visit his old marine friend of his. Saying good bye to my grandmother was a little emotional because I knew it in my heart that it could be the last time I am going to see her alive and it brought back lots of childhood memories when she used to come here and visit us.

I got up yesterday and took a bus to Frankfurt to meet up with pastor Joe, we spent a quite night, had dinner with Jeff (pastors old marine friend) and his wife May. When we boarded the Lufthansa 416 flight home today I was so fucken exhausted I slept all away to Dulles airport, it was supposed to land at 1:05pm and we arrived at 1:06pm and I am happy that I am back home.

To all of you my ex con cabbie friends, all of you drunk night animals, pimps, hookers, hustlers, pushers and my homeless buddies, I can't wait to see tomorrow night. Mommy is back to baby sit your ass.

P.S Thanks to our Albanian cab driver Hakim, who knows his shit in and out about Amsterdam and who put up with our bullshit, you are a real hacker bro! Thanks for the knowledge.

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why you trying to be hard cabbie? You weren't listening to NWA. NWA did not put out "Don't Believe the Hype", that was Public Enemy on the album "It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us back" from 1988.

Washington Cube said...

Sounds like a great trip. What a (don't puke) sweet passage about your grandmother.

Legal Alien said...

Hey Mad

I am so happy that you are back. And that you had a great trip to Europe.

Mad Cabbie said...

You are right bro, I got mixed up, I had all kind of old school hard core hip hop in that cd, How can mix up flavor flav with eazy E? thats a shame! by the way I am not trying to be hard anonymous I am just a big loud mouth pussy!

Mad Cabbie said...

Hey Cube don't worry I am not throwing up, but I really felt like shit when I said good bye to her!

Hey Legal, it's good to be back in the trench! are you back in Canada now? Have a great school year!

Anonymous said...

Welcome home after a great trip, work your ass out for another year & make an even better trip next year!

Eric

Xtreme English said...

well, i'll tell you what, mad cabbie....your blog on monday DEFINITELY made my day. I'm so glad you're back from ur vacation. i do take cabs fairly often in the city of Satan, and now I keep thinking...gee...wot if this is MAD CABBIE at the wheel??? considering that i'm usually going to work, where they make us take annual leave to attend a coworker's mother's funeral, this is major excitement!!

kilgorsky said...

Good to see you back, man. Were you affected by the new airport security issues?

Mad Cabbie said...

Thanks Eric, I will be working hard for a trip to Russia next summer!

Hi, English: your daughter sent me a nice email from Scotland, you have a beautiful family. I am glad I made your day, Sorry about some of the languages I use, its not grandma friendly, You left the most beautiful note I have read "angels guard thee, you and the holy man." when I left for vacation, I like that. My command of the English language is very poor, I speak like a retard, I wish I can talk like you.

Kilg, its good to hear from you, security was tight but we didn't give a shit, we had nothing but time in our hands, infact it made the trip more interesting, observing some passengers getting pissed when they took off their shoes at the security line was priceless.