Saturday, July 15, 2006
UGLY GUYS NEED LOVE TOO
He was a short white dude in his forties with a bad mustache and a beer belly hanging out. He sat in my cab and said " Can you wait for a second? My wife is coming out! Women! They get on my nerves it takes them forever to get out of the house..."
When his wife came out to the cab my jaws dropped to the floor! Tall thin blond, very,very, very attractive hottie in her twenties. She could be on the cover of Cosmopolitan on any given day and she had to be at least three inches taller than he was. My first question to myself was "how did this fatso managed to grab a chick like this?" I thought:
A- He has a shit load of cash.
B- Being in Washington, he is a man of power.
C- He is packing a fat snake in his pants.
D- He's got to be the most charismatic and funniest dude on this planet.
But guess what? Its none of the above, as soon as she opened her mouth to talk, I figured it all out. "I em zorry fer z wait" she said, apologizing for the delay with heavy, thick Russian accent. I am most certainly sure that he got her from russianchicksforuglyguys.com or some mail order bride joint. That's the only way that an overweight little freak can get away with a tall blond chick like that. And this jack ass was giving me that look, you know the "See what I got, asshole!" look. You wait and see, next time I see him I will be giving him a ride to the divorce court. Godimt! I am so jealous.
So for you fat ugly losers who I pick up after the bar closes and going home alone crying on mad cabbies shoulders, "I can't get any girl to dance with me, Mad!"
I don't wanna hear that shit no more, go to fucken Russia and get yourself a hottie which will make you look more ugly than you are, but who gives a shit? try to get a good two years out of her until she dumps your scary ass. In the mean while let me check out priceline, see if they got any good airfare deals to Moscow.
Posted by Mad Cabbie at 11:01 AM