Saturday, July 15, 2006

UGLY GUYS NEED LOVE TOO


He was a short white dude in his forties with a bad mustache and a beer belly hanging out. He sat in my cab and said " Can you wait for a second? My wife is coming out! Women! They get on my nerves it takes them forever to get out of the house..."

When his wife came out to the cab my jaws dropped to the floor! Tall thin blond, very,very, very attractive hottie in her twenties. She could be on the cover of Cosmopolitan on any given day and she had to be at least three inches taller than he was. My first question to myself was "how did this fatso managed to grab a chick like this?" I thought:
A- He has a shit load of cash.
B- Being in Washington, he is a man of power.
C- He is packing a fat snake in his pants.
D- He's got to be the most charismatic and funniest dude on this planet.

But guess what? Its none of the above, as soon as she opened her mouth to talk, I figured it all out. "I em zorry fer z wait" she said, apologizing for the delay with heavy, thick Russian accent. I am most certainly sure that he got her from russianchicksforuglyguys.com or some mail order bride joint. That's the only way that an overweight little freak can get away with a tall blond chick like that. And this jack ass was giving me that look, you know the "See what I got, asshole!" look. You wait and see, next time I see him I will be giving him a ride to the divorce court. Godimt! I am so jealous.

So for you fat ugly losers who I pick up after the bar closes and going home alone crying on mad cabbies shoulders, "I can't get any girl to dance with me, Mad!"
I don't wanna hear that shit no more, go to fucken Russia and get yourself a hottie which will make you look more ugly than you are, but who gives a shit? try to get a good two years out of her until she dumps your scary ass. In the mean while let me check out priceline, see if they got any good airfare deals to Moscow.

Mad Cabbie.

10 comments:

kilgorsky said...

Yeah, as soon as she gets a resident status, she's gone.

Red said...

I've dated ugly guys guys... wait... no I haven't.

I would think they would be nicer but maybe not.

lugosi said...

HEY!!! I just checked, and there's no such thing as russianchicksforuglyguys.com.

MJ06 said...

I wonder what these brides think when they see guys like that?

Mad Cabbie said...

Kil, I don't think you have any problem getting chicks, you're in the band! Remember "Money for nothing and the chicks comes free.." God, That was a bad ass song, love it.

RED, let me tell you something, if you date an ugly dude he will work overtime to make you happy, usually the pretty boys don't deliver but those ugly ones give you the big O night after night, besides those flowers and choclates.

Try ..forfatcabdrivers.com lugosi, I will see you in that chat room.

mj, is it hard to get laid as a caddie? I bet there are lots of lonely country club chicks!

Jay said...

I have a thoery that these hot Russian mail order brides are actually fembots involved in some sinister plot to take over the world

Mad Cabbie said...

Jay, I have a feeling you are a huge Art Bell fan:-)

kilgorsky said...

Man, it wouldn't be so difficult to "get chicks", however, I'm a married drummer.

MJ06 said...

Hahaha thats a good one

MJ06 said...

Lets see to tell you the truth pritty much every one I caddie for are all married and contradictory to popular belife the trophie wife thing is kinda over blown to tell you the truth there are not a whole lot of them.