Wednesday, April 15, 2009


I have been working like crazy! I am like those Pakistani drivers who carry empty milk containers to relieve themselves cause there is no fucken time to make a bathroom stop. Business is good, people don't have cash to take exotic trips instead they get fucked up at local bars and take cabs home.

I was running those kind of bullshit jobs until Ali the concierge from one of the top Washington hotels gave me a call last night. Whenever this motherfucker is on the phone it's always been a challenging task for me. He normally gives out the good lucrative easy hooker runs to his Iranian buddies. The only time he calls me is when the guest requests like a hooker with three tits, a chic with a size 14 feet or some odd ass shit like that.

ALI: Hey Mad Cabbie how are you? Sorry about your dad man!
ME: What the fuck you want Ali? I am busy.
ALI: You are going to make some cash tonight Mad!
ME: I am listening, I know your Iranian clowns couldn't make it happen!
ALI: It's Persian asshole! PERSIAN!!!
ME: What ever dude, what can I do for you Mr nuclear program?
ALI: How soon can you get Tammy at the hotel lobby?

Tammy is a transvestite call girl I got to know through my friend Mr Hook. I negotiated a nice finders fee for myself and I made a quick phone call to Mr Hook. Bad news and good news! Tammy wasn't available but another hot tranny called Alexis was on call. I called Ali and informed him about the change of plan and much higher rate for Ms Alexis.

"Mad! money is no object for this guest, just bring her in ASAP! Make sure you don't drag in some guy with a mustache wearing a dress, like you did three years ago motherfucker! I hope she/he is hot! Is she? Is she? What the fuck you mean you haven't seen her yet?"

I delivered Alexis in less than an hour, thanks to Mr Hook's last minute hustling. Transvestite escort girls are very hard to come by in Washington DC and you better have a thick wallet to have a real convincing hot chic looking transvestite like Alexis. I got paid handsomely on this run, I can't write much about Alexis because she didn't say much on the way to the hotel.

I think I got my game shoes on now! I am back for real.

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.


Peggy said...

Is it good to be back in the thick of things?

Mad Cabbie said...

You know I live for these kind of moments Peggy!

Anonymous said...

You have a cool life Mad Cabby.

Anonymous said...

Oh Mad,

You write about Transvestite escort girls when I talk highly of your blog to some Ethiopian friends! Man!!! Now they really are going to think I am some kind of a wierdo, and I will probably be excomunicated or something like that.


Mad Cabbie said...

Moi, your Ethiopian friends better leave you alone, otherwise I might be urged to go to that Ethiopian hang out 7-11 on Columbia Rd and bring some Eritrean brothers and start a mini war!

Don't mess with my Moi!

brokemoto said...

If you insist on going to Mogadiscio West, look out for Officer Green. I avoid that place.

Mad Cabbie said...

Phil, Officer Green and I are pretty tight fortunately. I was in a hurry one night and he pulled me over around 25 and K, after he realized it was me, he gave me an invitation card for one of the officers jive ass retirement party. I went to that party the following weekend and I wished he had given me the speeding ticket instead.

Anonymous said...

If you and Green get along.........

Has he ever told you why the focus of his law enforcement career has been picking on penny-ante drug pushers, ten-cent crack whores, middle-aged white female joggers in Woodley Park, and especially cab drivers? I have no quarrel with his arresting the penny-ante drug dealers, but no one has ever seen his bothering the big boys. As for the other ones, he seems to like to pick on those who can not, or do not fight back.

He has a really nasty, unrofessional, jive-ass attitude toward cab drivers who have done nothing to offend him. Is he one of those guys who could not get a ride as a young man and now has a chip on his shoulder and has decided that he can use that tin shield and nine millimetre to make cab drivers pay?

There used to be a motorcycle cop named Carter who was just like Green, nasty jive-ass attitude, and all. He would pull you over, strut up to your cab and say "I'se Carter the cab-killer, gimme' yo' face, manifest, licence and registration, oh and don' think you ain't gettin' no ticket, 'cuz. you gots a ticket when Carter the cab-killer pulls you over."

I do not know what happened to him, but he must be Green's hero.