I think my old man is looking out for me from were ever he is it was amazing what happened last Thursday. Like I told you guys, both my registration and my inspection sticker have expired and my first stop was at the inspection station. For those of you who are not familiar with the DC motor vehicle inspection, it is the last place you want to be! Especially for cabs, I don't care if you take a brand new vehicle, they will find an unwritten rule to fail your ass. Don't forget some of the inspectors are used to getting bribes from cabbies and I remember few years ago one of the porters came to my window and told me that if I handed him a fifty dollar bill he will get one of his boys inside have me pass with flying colors, but I told him to go fuck himself and I was too loud too.
I tell you, this has to be a record! When I pulled up at the inspection station line it was 11:30 and by the time I passed the inspection, rushed to the DMV and got a new registration it was 1:10pm. What I encountered at the DMV was shocking, first of all the person who waited on me was a hot black chic, they never have hot chics at DC DMV, usually they are big ass mean looking women who could bitch slap you at any given moment. Second she said HELLO to me! Normally it's the "what the fuck do you want?" look and third she smiled and asked if I wanted a 1 year or a 2 year registration? WHAT? They never do a two year registration for cabs! For some silly reason we have to go over this shit every single year. I thought she was making a mistake but never hesitated to get the 2 year registration. As soon as I paid her and got my 2 year registration card, I dashed out of the building like a mental patient because I was afraid that she might realize her mistake and have the security guard stop my ass.
I was running down M street SW when Hassan an old time driver and fleet owner at Diamond Cab Company stopped me and asked me why am I running and sweating my ass off? and I said "Hassan I got to go man, I think DMV issued me a 2 year registration by mistake! I got to split, have a nice day old man!" Hassan shook his head in disgust and said "You stupid idiot! They have been issuing multi-year registration for cabs for almost a year now you dumb ass! You are getting dumber and dumber every time I see you. All cab drivers are STUPID! Finally you cut your stupid hair and now you look like a sissy ass boy! and when are you going to quit cab driving?" And he kept on going the opposite direction laughing and yelling to himself.
Hassan is a Syrian man in his mid sixty's, he's been driving a cab for forty years and he is the loudest person you can ever meet. He also have a bunch of cabs that he rents out so he deals with a lot of drivers. He's daily mantra is always "Cab drivers are the most stupid people on this planet!" and you can never satisfy this guy. First time I met Hassan years and years ago and when I told him I left a good paying job at NOAA to be a cab driver, even though we just met for the first time he didn't back out to call my then fragile ass the king of all stupids. I really wanted to kick his ass but later I found out that he calls everyone in the fleet stupid. One thing I will never forget is that when I suggested to him that my cab driving is temporary gig for a few month until I move on to something else, he laughed his ass off and said that I will die as an old cab driver inside my cab holding my steering wheel. Now every time this motherfucker sees me for the last eighteen years the first thing out of his mouth is "When are you going to quit driving a cab asshole?" Man I Love Hassan!
I sat in my cab for a while to catch my breath staring at my new registration card and said to myself, "Maybe Hassan is right after all, am I going to do something else after all these years?" Who gives a shit now! I got my meal ticket for another two years so I have couple years to think about my dynamic career.
Please don't forget the homeless,