Thursday, April 16, 2009


My first pick up of the night from Robby the dispatcher was at the Kennedy Warren, pricey apartments on Connecticut avenue overlooking the Rock Creek Pkwy. Tall skinny white dude rushed out of the lobby and got in to my cab and wanted to do round trip to Glover Park. Normally when people request a round trip that means they're shopping for drugs. Glover Park by no means is the drug hot spot of Washington DC, the only thing I know about that neighborhood is that the majority of DC alcoholics live there.

The guy came clean and told me that he wanted to spy on his girlfriend because he is convinced that she is cheating on him. She was supposed to be in her bed early, at least that was what she told him couple of hours ago. He got tipped off by one of his friends that she was being cozy with some dude at a bar in Bethesda so he wanted to confront her when she comes back to her apartment.

I pulled over at the corner of 39th and Benton around 12:30am with my romantically crushed passenger, and about half an hour into my stalking mission I told him that the meter is going to cap out at $19.00 (DC LAW) for a local trips and I am not going to wait and sit on my ass for the pathetic $15 an hour waiting time! So I negotiated a decent hourly rate and started to stare at my windshield.

I kept asking "You are not going to hurt her are you?" but I knew he wouldn't, if he did I don't think he would have shown up at a potential crime scene with a dumb ass cab driver as a witness. I got hungry all of sudden and I took out my brown bag and started eating one of my corn beef sandwich and offered him the other, and the motherfucker was more hungry than I was. We started talking about relationships and the abundance of single women in DC and when I suggested to him that he should leave her alone and start dating other girls, the conversation went silent. My man is in love he didn't want to hear none of my Dr Phil shit.

It was almost two in the morning and our subject didn't show up at all, her cell phone was turned off when he tried to call her for the 100th time. I told him we need to get the fuck out of there when the same DC cop stared at us for the second time while he was making his rounds. He had no choice but to pay me and be left in the dark or to take the painful ride back to his expensive apartment. We both knew that his girl was banging some douchebag at that very moment.

It was a sad and quiet short ride and we pulled up to his driveway after our two hour failed mission, I got paid and wished him well! My next fare was a voucher call from a psychiatric institution on Wisconsin avenue, some nut-case and his accompanying nurse going to the ER at Sibley hospital! Who said cab driving is not intellectually stimulating?

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.


Lee H said...

Very interesting and entertaining. You are great. I'm so happy that you are blogging again. I'm in the Hampton Roads VA area and what you encounter in your daily travails is like life in another world. It's great to hear about what you meet up with each day and how you respond to it.

Anonymous said...

That guy is a fucking pussy whipped looser!


vm said...

Good thing you had 2 sandwiches.

John said...

Mad you are just like the needle falling back into the groove of an old 78 (whatever that is)
Keep on trucki'n

peggy's mom said...

you are such a sweetheart, sharing your sandwiches with some lovesick guy. hope he appreciated it. i love your blog. do other cabbies have the same kinds of experiences? or do they save the interesting business for you??

Petunia said...

mmmmm...corned beef sandwiches...can't get those where I am!

p.s. i agree with KG

Peggy said...

The thing is, if you have to pay a cabbie all that cash so you can lurk outside your girlfriend's apartment, she may not be that into you. I'm sure he'll wake up to himself soon. I think YOU are the only one who got the benefit of his mistrust that night.

I have such a soft spot for corned beef - thank GOD it isn't easy to get here or I'd be off the Weight Watcher wagon so fast!

Mad Cabbie said...

Lee H, thanks a lot! I really enjoy what I do. Keep reading.

KG, I think every man had been pussy whipped at one point in life, I know mine happened in 1996.

VM, I always come out with couple of sandwiches, breakfast around mid-night and lunch five in the morning...I have a screwed up schedule.

I will be truckin' like crazy John!

Hey Peggy's mom, how is Petworth working out for you? I am pretty sure every night cab driver have some story to tell. That's why we call it the Jerry Springer shift!

Petunia how are you? I heard you can find a great corned beef at a well known Jewish deli in Khartoum:) But you're way down south so you have to deal with that goat meat!

Peggy the guy is madly in love with that chic, unfortunately it's not a two way street for him! I think I should come to Scotland and open up a little deli. When I was in London my brother took me to a little joint and it was one of the best corned beef sandwich I ever had. Their chicken liver and onion sandwich was out of this world!

suicide_blond said...

and youre sooo right about the alcoholics!!!

welcome home

brokemoto said...

Now that we have heard from the Peanut Gallery and other amateurs, here is the reality.

The chick was not banging ANYone strange, until she recognised herself and BF in to-day's blog entry. As for what the 'buddy' saw, he made that up because HE is trying to get into the broad's pants and he knows what a nut case Mr. Kennedy Warren is. Chickie was at home, in bed, asleep the whole time with the wireless turned off. This is why he never saw her come in and she did not answer the telephone. She was ALREADY inside.

Anyhow, now that she sees what a dumb shithook Mr. Kennedy-Warren is, she is going to go out and have herself one rocking good time; since Mr. K-W is thinking that way, why make a liar out of him when she can make a real ass out of him. Not that he needs any help being made into a jackdonkey, mind you.

Anyhow, 'Buddy' may be able to take advantage of the situation and get to dip his pole, or not, who knows, and, truthfully, who cares?

As for 4228, you should know that the Sibley Shuttle is a staple of that dump at night. Those are the only decent jobs that ever come out of that hole. Almost everything else out of there is garbage. The morning RT to the Indiana Fuzz AIN'T too bad, but everything else out of there is Yellow work. 4228 is one reason that I do not work the Tenley stand. I do not want those jobs, so I do not sit on that stand. One time, one of the looney tunes took a crap in a guy's cab. He tried to charge a clean-up and they balked. The Upstairs Management at Diamond took 4228's side. I was the only one who took the driver's side, so I was outvoted. I could not (and still can not) stand the driver in question, but he was right; and right is right.

Anyhow, make a few bucks to-night, if you are out there.

Anonymous said...

You're back! I've been checking every couple of don't even realize how many fans you have...I'm glad you are OK -- thought you were dead. Sorry about your Dad, though. I love your work. Doing him proud.

Anon. from Denver