WHY MITT ROMNEY WILL LOOSE BY A LANDSLIDE

Four years ago I explained the MHI theory when I talked about the economy. MHI or Mad's Hooker Index is the bench-mark or a gauge I came up with to predict the health of the U.S economy correctly. This index pretty much follows the trend and frequencies of the retards calling Mad Cabbie for rides to the hooker joints.

Guys, the economy is rebounding, people are going out more at night. I have a regular rider who is a consultant and who I haven't seen in years, all of a sudden he is getting laid two three times a week, now he doesn't have to beg his wife for a pun-tang anymore. People start working now and this is very good news for Obama and I predict the unemployment figure will be less than or close to 8%. Here are my five main points on why Mr. Obama will win this election comfortably unless they catch him with a hooker or something.

1-Unemployment will consistently go down.
2-The growth of the U.S economy will beat analysts expectations.
3-There will be more young first time voters going Obama's way.
4-Romney will be flip-flopping like crazy trying to regain the independent vote.
5-Romney's love-child will show up from France. (as I was told by one of my passengers)

Listen, the political pundits will tell you that it's going to be a very close race, but I say Obama will convincingly bitch slap Romney in November and take my word to your closest local bank.

Please don't forgot the homeless,

Mad Cabbie


  

2011 PREDICTIONS

Few days ago Pat "the phony" Robertson predicted that the United States will go bankrupt in two years! Back in the days he once predicted that Jesus Christ would come back by the end of 1982. In 1982 while my high school buddies were getting stoned and having fun, I was waiting for Jesus at the corner of River Rd and Wilson Lane, and guess what? Jesus was a no-show! Pat, thanks for nothing you jackass, that whole year I deprived myself from jerking-off because I was paranoid that Jesus may knock on my bathroom door! I am not going to fall for your bullshit anymore you freak!

Let me tell you my predictions for 2011,

Pat Robinson and a former Washington DC high level official both will come out of the closet after being caught with transvestite hookers! The balance sheet of the United States will improve and by the end of this year the economy will generate two million more new jobs! How do you like that Mr. 700 Club?

Let me visit the bathroom and take care of business real quick now, and don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

MAD! IS SHE HOT?

I have been working like crazy! I am like those Pakistani drivers who carry empty milk containers to relieve themselves cause there is no fucken time to make a bathroom stop. Business is good, people don't have cash to take exotic trips instead they get fucked up at local bars and take cabs home.

I was running those kind of bullshit jobs until Ali the concierge from one of the top Washington hotels gave me a call last night. Whenever this motherfucker is on the phone it's always been a challenging task for me. He normally gives out the good lucrative easy hooker runs to his Iranian buddies. The only time he calls me is when the guest requests like a hooker with three tits, a chic with a size 14 feet or some odd ass shit like that.

ALI: Hey Mad Cabbie how are you? Sorry about your dad man!
ME: What the fuck you want Ali? I am busy.
ALI: You are going to make some cash tonight Mad!
ME: I am listening, I know your Iranian clowns couldn't make it happen!
ALI: It's Persian asshole! PERSIAN!!!
ME: What ever dude, what can I do for you Mr nuclear program?
ALI: How soon can you get Tammy at the hotel lobby?

Tammy is a transvestite call girl I got to know through my friend Mr Hook. I negotiated a nice finders fee for myself and I made a quick phone call to Mr Hook. Bad news and good news! Tammy wasn't available but another hot tranny called Alexis was on call. I called Ali and informed him about the change of plan and much higher rate for Ms Alexis.

"Mad! money is no object for this guest, just bring her in ASAP! Make sure you don't drag in some guy with a mustache wearing a dress, like you did three years ago motherfucker! I hope she/he is hot! Is she? Is she? What the fuck you mean you haven't seen her yet?"

I delivered Alexis in less than an hour, thanks to Mr Hook's last minute hustling. Transvestite escort girls are very hard to come by in Washington DC and you better have a thick wallet to have a real convincing hot chic looking transvestite like Alexis. I got paid handsomely on this run, I can't write much about Alexis because she didn't say much on the way to the hotel.

I think I got my game shoes on now! I am back for real.

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.