Hustleman Charles called me last night crying over the phone that some chick puked in his cab, and that's one of the worst shit can happen to a cab driver. If someone throws up in my cab that means I am pretty much out of commission for the next 24 hours having the vomit cleaned and getting the stink out of the cab. So that means a loss of a one night income plus the clean up cost and usually a guy named Sam is our in house puke clean up expert.
Sam is an old timer who has been hanging around Diamond Cab Company for ages hustling cab drivers offering his clean up services. You throw Sammy a twenty dollar bill he will clean up a nuclear waste out of your car in minutes and runs to the liquor store and come back happy. I told hustleman Charles to stop crying on my ass and see Sam in the morning and take his losses since he was stupid enough to let the puking chick go home free without taking any financial responsibility. That can not happen in Mr. Mad Cabbie's cab!
The last vomiting passenger experience I had was about five years ago when I picked up this chick in front of the Third Edition in Georgetown. Her friends threw her in my cab and asked me to take her to one of the apartments around the National Zoo and paid for the ride in advance. She was fucken wasted and her breath smelled like shit, I could tell that she had been puking so I thought she was done and settled but still let her knew that if she got sick again and mess up my cab it could cost her $300 (There is a sign posted in my cab) and of course like any drunk ass person would respond she said, "No problem! No problem! I am ok! Just take me home!". Not even a minute after she gave me her words of confidence she sprayed her stink all over the back seat and I was on fucken fire!
When I demanded she owed $300 or face the cops (of course the cops can't do shit beside writing a report) she was scared and sorry and promised to pay me the next day. I took every information from her drivers license, got her phone number and her business card and left her ass in front of her building and I cut short my shift and went to my girlfriend's apartment for the night.
The next day was a Sunday and she wasn't responding to the few messages I left both on her home and cell phones and I was getting irritated, and at this point it's not even about the money anymore but she FUCKED with the wrong cab driver. I called her few more times while Sam was cleaning up her stink but never heard from her. Sam did an excellent work so I threw him a fifty and I got back to work Sunday night and a few minutes in to my shift her boyfriend called me to tell me not to harass her anymore and he offered me $20 for the clean up cost and I told him to go fuck himself and hanged up the phone.
The next morning I called her at her office and she picked up and warned me not to call her anymore or she will contact the police and file a complaint that I was trying to rip her off and that's when I drove straight to her office building at 2400 M street NW with a mission. She worked for a major financial institution as a financial adviser and when she saw me in front of her small office her jaw dropped to the floor, she was nervous and I was calm and I said, "I am ready to call the cops for you now and is this how you want to handle this?"
To make this already long ass story short we went down to the lobby together and she withdrew $300 from an ATM machine and handed me the cash and told me what a big ass-hole I was and everything else. I didn't give a shit, I took the cash with a big smile on my face and she saved herself from a huge embarrassment in front her colleagues so it was a win win situation for both of us.
Please don't forget the homeless,