Monday, December 17, 2007

GREEN CARD IN THREE HOURS

Few years ago, few minutes after midnight I picked up this Latino dude from the Greyhound bus station in North East. With a broken heavy accent English he asked if I know where some Spanish dudes who sold fake green cards (a permanent resident ID card) People ask me for all kind shit but a fake green card was the first and I didn't know what to tell him. I really didn't want to get involved because I am scared to go to prison, but at the same time me being the predator of the streets I want to make some cash as well. So I called Pastor Joe:

MC: Hello Pastor, what's up?
PJ: What the fuck you want Zebra? I am trying to get laid!
MC: I thought you're out hustling Pastor?
PJ: Make it quick motherfucker, what is it?
MC: You know where I can get a Green Card?
PJ: I thought you're an American citizen?
MC: Not for me asshole, I have some dude in the back seat.
PJ: You call yourself a cabbie and don't know where to get a fucken green card?
MC: Stop bitching bitch and tell me were to go!
PJ: Drive him to Ontario and Columbia and when you get to...


I took my new Latino friend to Adams Morgan around Ontario and Columbia frequented by some young Colombian dudes roaming the streets all night long. I gave him my number so he can call me as soon as his green card gets approved and issued by the street thugs and I could give him a ride back to the bus station. My determined passenger had no fear at all, after I dropped him off he quickly disappeared in to the dark ally.

Over an hour passed and I didn't hear from him, I thought he was dead or something so I moved on and stopped by some joint to get an ice cream. Almost three hours later my phone rang and sure enough it was my man with a happy tone in his voice asking me if I can pick him up and drive him back to the station.

He showed me his new green card on our way to the Greyhound. I don't know man, it looked real and perfect to me, with his picture and everything. Next time I see my blogger friend Lizzie I will ask her to show me hers to see how a real green card looks like and compare!

Excuse me Mad! you fucken idiot, Lizzie is an American who was born and raised in Orange county, California! You are a typical ignorant jackass who thinks every Latin person in America is an immigrant.

Alright! alright! everyone calm down please, I didn't know that! To be honest with you Lizzie is whiter than the queen of England, I need to look in to her claim of being a Latina.

Finally I dropped my Norfolk bound happy Latino friend at the station and we said our good byes. I hope he is doing well now and got his shit straight. But later on I hear that hot spot in Adams Morgan used to be a well known shady corner visited by undocumented Latinos, Indians and Pastor's Russian girlfriends until the operation was busted by INS few years back.

Please no emails about how to get phony green cards, I don't want the SWAT team from ICE all over me and water-board my sorry ass in Guantanamo Bay.

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

10 comments:

adam said...

Hello I just entered before I have to leave to the airport, it's been very nice to meet you, if you want here is the site I told you about where I type some stuff and make good money (I work from home): here it is

johnnypeepers said...

Hey Mad,

Do you know some good hookups for heaters? Travis in "Taxi Driver" didn't carry one in the cab, but he was always strapped at campaign rallies.

Now that the DC Gun Ban is overturned, I bet the streets be crawling with gats. Watch yourself my friend.

Mad Cabbie said...

Adam get a real job please! and stop spamming my joint.

Johnny, I know that some night cabbies pack heat here in dc! but I don't think it's going to help out in fact it may increase the chance of the driver getting shot because there would be a gun drawn at the driver already. There are ton of guns in the strets of dc, I remember years ago some dude left a gun at the back seat of my cab...I don't think banning people to bare arms is the solution if it was there wouldn't be murders every night in DC. I think people should be protected under the constitution to pack heat legally. If Shawn Taylor of the Washington DC was packing heat that night he could have been alive and playing football right now by just firing warning shots as soon as he heard those niggers making noises.

Unfortunately here in DC guns are at the hands of thugs not by lawful citizens just we have this stupid law and I hope the supreme court will overturn that sissy ass law sooner or later!

lizzie said...

HA! Greetings from the OC, CA--illegal immigrant hatred capital of the U.S. just because i didn't get to the U.S. by crossing a river and crawling through the sewage system doesn't mean i'm any less than brown than your immigrant friend. btw, thanks for helping out one of my peeps! i'm sure he's very, very grateful. :)

Mad Cabbie said...

I am so jealous of you Lizzie, you are back in sunny Cali! I am freezing my ass off here and thank you for being a good sports!

Merry Christmas!

lizzie said...

awww...well, the next time i drive around in my sister's convertible with the top down and the sun beating down on my face, i'll think of you.

mad, i love the blog. you can make fun of me whenever you want!

merry xmas! keep warm!

Anonymous said...

Mad are you single?

Mad Cabbie said...

Anonymous, I am single but I am that person your mommy used to warn you not to be associate with so you better off without me!

DC Cab Rider said...

LOL - Merry Christmas MC. And have a good new year.

ViK[RuM] said...

is this true? and how authntic that is (i mean does it look like orginal). what if the local authorites check it on their local area network. really shocking

vixz
----------------------
New York Immigration Lawyer Marina Shepelsky, located in Brooklyn, assists clients from the New York metro area and across the United States in all immigration and naturalization matters http://www.e-us-visa.com
http://www.e-us-visa.com