Monday, October 16, 2006

THE TWENTY CENTS TIP

The Mad Cabbie, Pastor Joe, CNN poll indicates that black women are the worst tippers if they ever tip at all. Don't get me wrong one of the best tips I ever made was from a black woman from Chicago, and all I did was helped her out to load a couple of boxes from Kinko and took her to her hotel at two in the morning and for $8.80 fare she paid me $50 almost 600% tip. But in general you black chicks suck when it comes to tipping, Come on ladies let's get with the programme, it's the 21st century!

"Mr. Mad Cabbie that is a racist comment and we have a bunch of angry black leaders and role models on the phone on hold and would like to talk to your ass. We have Jessie Jackson on line 1, Al Sharpton on line 2 and Louis Farrakhan on line 3. Are you available to take these calls now Mad?"

"What do you mean it's a racist comment? Don't forget that I am black man and I can say what ever I want about black people, if it was a white dude who made these comments, then it could be classified as a racist statement, do you understand? that's the way it is! And I don't have any black leaders and my role model is Mr T not those hypocrite motherfuckers who you have on hold and while you got them on the phone tell them to get a real job like the rest of us!"

Couple of weeks ago I picked up a black woman from a house in Chevy Chase (one of the richest neighbourhood in DC) she is the mother of a congressman and I don't want to say his name because I don't want to piss him off and probably get some sexually explicit emails from him, you never know how our congressmen react these days. But I will give you a clue, back in the days his dad was also a congressman. I did have a good conversation with her and I learned a lot about her son from her, that his ass smell like roses and he is running for the senate seat presently. Of course she is a mom and have the right to brag about her son's accomplishment but did she had to tip me a whopping twenty cents for a $24.80 fare to National airport? I think those polls are accurate.

I know that I probably pissed off some of you folks out there, if you don't like what I have to say, fuck you! and go read another blog! as a matter of fact go read my good friend Jamy's blog, she is my agent and also handles the compliant department, she will also teach you how to date and get laid, so come back and see me after she calms your ass down.

"Hey Mad, I think you really pushed it this time because there are some angry black men out there banging on your door and they are going to kick the shit out of you, and you know what? they are wearing a suit and a bow tie, I believe these brothers are from the nation of Islam and you better start saying your prayers you pussy!"

Guys! I got to split and run through the back door and please don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

What did you get with that 20 cents MC?

Josh

Wil said...

"Where's your back door?"

"We don't have a backdoor."

"Okay. Where would you like one?"

[wink]

Twoste said...

That's f-ed up.

Anonymous said...

Ah, so you had Dorothy Ford in the car.

june in florida said...

Mad, drove for 16 yrs in Mass, your right but i found French Canadians as bad.My son said i was racist too but his wife who is a black beautician agreed with me.Love your blog. I drove nights.Could'nt keep my eyes open in daylight.

MJ06 said...

I do not see any thing racist about this all I see is you saying that statistically African American women are the worst tippers.

Claire said...

Hey Mad Cabbie,

I like your blog, very funny and good at getting it right. With regard to tipping, I think you're just making an observation. The only statement I take issue with is that because you are of the same race, you can't be racist. I feel some of the most discriminating people when it comes to women in the work place are other women! Not always but often enough. The same could be said for other minorities.

I always give the other guy the benefit of the doubt, but then I'm not very street smart. However, I, myself have been caught without any appropriate change so I sympathize with the lady in question. I once asked a cabbie if he had change for a twenty and he took my bill and jumped in his cab and drove off without giving me change. He was an immigrant, and incidentally, so am I. So, do I have prejudice immunity? (smiling) No one group has a corner on greed or stinginess.

Peace.

Claire

Jamy said...

Maybe she was confused and thought it was 1946?

I'm ready to school who ever needs schooling, friend!

Mad Cabbie said...

Josh: I was looking for vending machines all around town to buy some shit but none of them had crap for twenty cents so I put it away towards my retirement account!

Wil: hahahaha, I guess you are feeling better these days! your mind is working twistedly fine! I hope you're doing very well bro!

Twoste: Tell me about it! and the thing is she talked my ear off telling me that her son is the greatest invention after the sliced bread! I hope he wins though.

Anonymous: No comment, but it looks like you know your shit!

June in FL: you are 100% correct maybe I should put the French ahead of my black chicks! Do you miss hacking?

MJ: I know it's not racist, it's that dude who butts in my head and writes some stupid shit in my blog, you know the drill MJ! How are you doing? I know it's a slow season for you guys and I hope you're getting laid with your extra time MJ!

Claire: You are right! It's like black dudes calling each other niggers to be cool. The chicks on chicks thing also correct and that's why I am sometimes doubtful that Hillary Clinton may not get as much as the women vote as I think. As far as that cabbie who ran away with your $20, he has to be one desperate asshole, I would never asscosiate myself with a jackass like him. Those are the thugs who give our industry a bad rap! Clarie, you might need to enroll at THE MAD CABBIE INSTITUTE OF ADVANCED STREET SMART STUDIES.

Jamy: The thing I really don't understand is that this woman was a wife of ex congressman and well cultured and travelled, she also talks like a society chick! Her son's opponent should run a negative add like this, "HIS MOTHER DON'T TIP CABDRIVERS, DO YOU WANT HIM AS YOUR SENATOR?"
By the way you need to start your own website AskJamy.com or some shit so I can refer those annoying chicks who cry in my cab after a bad date !

Jaded Server said...

When I used to bartend and wait tables I discovered that black women as a whole are the worst tippers. Closely followed by the European and French Canadian tourists. The wait staff (nearly all black) would fight over who got the white tables because we knew where the tips were.

Anonymous said...

wotta grinch!! but, hey...maybe she's a bit gaga...maybe she thought she gave you a $20 and a $10, not a $20 and a $5. and maybe next time you see her heading for your cab you can tell her you're too busy to take her anywhere....tell her you've got to go home and make sure all your dimes are still in the sock with the rest of your retirement savings.

Peggy's mom

lugosi said...

Gotta agree with you 100% on this.

Claire said...

Hi Mad Cabby,

(laughing)I agree. I do need to enroll at THE MAD CABBIE INSTITUTE OF ADVANCED STREET SMART STUDIES. I'm taking you up on that. Hope you don't mind. :D

Claire

Joann said...

You are correct on this one. {And, I thought that they were just mad at me.}

Mad Cabbie said...

Jaded Server: I feel your pain, especially you guys don't make shit in hourly salary and depend on tips to pay the rent and I can't understand on why some people just don't get it!

Peggy's mom: Not at all, I understand now from other drivers that this woman is well for being cheap!

Lug: I am pretty sure you had your fare share of short handers!

Claire: Any time and for you the tuition is 99% off!

Joann: How could anyone hate you? They are just too cheap!

kilgorsky said...

I do hope that 20 cents will let you change your life for the better.

This is ridiculous, man.

SkippyMom said...

You are a 100% on this as this your blog and your opinions [and having been a waitress...it is impossible not to stereotype....and it isn't racist in the least I think]

I have a blog and anytime I think I am offending I remind my readers [and they are dear to me] My blog. MINE. It is basically TV without pics...CHANGE the channel if you don't like it...lol...

Heck..the only person equally as cheap [in the restaurant world] as your post are OLD WHITE people...nothing like a "bogo" coupon for two lobster dinners, waters and a 3 % tip on the DISCOUNTED price....[think 60 cents for 40$ plus worth of food...and they RAN our asses off]

I would rather spend all day schluppping remy & diet coke with side salads and the patrons' snapping fingers for a buck tip than EVER have to deal with the 978 trips for butter,napkins, dressing, water, ass kissing and a Depends for the 60 cents from the near-death-coupon-bearing-white folks.

Does this make me racist? No. This makes me a waitress with 10 years tenure and the knowledge to predict 99.8 % of the time what my tip is going to be.

I really love your blog.