Friday, August 19, 2011


My good friend Ali-Two-Fingers is back! After years of American life, mostly in Washington DC. Ali moved back to his native land Pakistan to get married and open up a modern grocery store few years ago. When he explained his retarded game plan to me at the time I think I bitch slapped him or something. This guy worked hard in America for years, and dumping all his savings by investing in a country that has a safety record more dangerous than Washington DC wasn't a smart move.

He took a break and came to Washington about a year ago to renew his taxi hack license. Most ex cabbies who left the country do that as an insurance policy, something to fall back on in case something goes wrong in what ever shit they're doing. He stayed with me for couple of weeks and we had a great time getting drunk at the Bunker and exchanging old cab-war stories. He signaled then that he had it with Pakistan and his new bride, and that he may be considering moving back to the States. I didn't take his comment seriously since we were both drunk until I got a phone call from Pakistan about couple of weeks ago.

ALI: Can you talk? Do you have a passenger?
ME: I got a fare but she is pissed off drunk and knocked out! What's up Two-Fingers?
ALI: I am coming on the 14th for good maddafucka!
ME: Are you shitting me? You're really coming for real?
ALI: Fuck Pakistan man, I am not going to ever set  foot in that shithole!
ME: I told you so bitch, grocery my ass! Get your drunken taliban ass back to DC motherfucker!
ALI: So I am chilling at your crib until I find an apartment Mad!
ME: I got you covered Two Fingers, and I will ask that old fart Hassan to hook you up with a cab...

Now my good friend Ali is staying with me for a while, and last night a bunch of his Pakistani friends were hanging out at my place to greet and welcome him. My joint looked like there was an Al Qaeda convention and I was afraid the navy seals were going to bust my door and smoke my ass.

I am thankful that one of my dear good friends is back in town and DC is lucky to have a great knowledgeable night cabbie back on the street.

And when is the FBI going to start criminal investigation of councilman Harris Thomas Jr?

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.


Anonymous said...

Ali is a fucking looser, he pissed away $150,000 in Pakistan and now he even can't afford to buy a cab, he has to rent one from hassan(senior! You are another looser Mad Cabbie, think of all of your Bethesda friends you grew up with! They probably are embarrassed to talk to a looser like yourself.

Mad Cabbie said...

Ali didn't loose any money, he just didn't make any money for the last couple of years and you call a person who saved up six figure a looser? I wonder what kind of savings you have. As far as the comments about me, you may be right on that one you jackass!

Anonymous said...

Med Kebbie, eye thot u sedd u hedd uh kollidge DUH-gree. Dijoo half NEA teechurs ett ur kollidge?

It is 'loser', NOT 'loOser'. If there is such a word as 'looser', it would be a guy who untied things.

Every day it becomes more plain to me that I need to start an APPENDIX PROBI for the English Language. Still, when you consider Spanish, French and Italian, you see that no one paid Ol' Probus too much attention. Thus, I doubt that too many people will pay too much attention to APPENDIX EXPEDITIONARII.

Mad Cabbie said...


You are a big fat LOOSER if your life amounts to sit and spell check this stupid blog! You are not allowed to read this blog anymore, instead go outside and burn off that 300lbs of fat u have around your waist!

Anonymous said...

One of your top posts ever and I been watching for at least 5 years now. "For good maddafucka!" lol

Anonymous said...

Who told you that the only thing that I had to do was 'sit and spell check this stupid blog'? Whoever told you that, I want you to sue him, because he told you a lie.

In addition to needing tutoring on the use of the English Language, you need a pair of glasses. I DO NOT weigh three hundred pounds, not even close. I do get out. I ride my bicycle every day from three to five miles, depending on how much time I have. Perhaps you have seen it? It is a Schwinn heavyweight three speed.

Oh, I keep forgetting, you cab drivers know it all.

Jee, Med Kebbie, ura reel samrt guiy. Mebbee iphe u axe Sinnatur Karey, hee kin halpu, eefinn iphe ur knot stock inn eye-RACK.

Mad Cabbie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mad Cabbie said...


Thanks dude....Ali is the MAN

Mad Cabbie said...

Listen you fatso, I saw you riding your bike around CU once and I think I threw up all over my dashboard! What a fucken mess you are, that poor woman a disgusting elephent on top of her, what a frightening scene. Knowing how lazy you are and your love of food, the only way you're going to get rid of fat is go back your old ways! Start drinking and smoke crack you retard.

If you go back and read this blog, I am the first to admit that my VOOCABYOULARRY adds up to be about fifty words! But guess what fatboy, I write some interesting shit that people love to read.

You tried to hide yourself but I figured who u are in two seconds you pussy. Normally I don't give a shit about negative comments, but I won't give you the satisfaction of getting away without being noticed.

Now let me go out and make money, and you carry on stuffing yourself with those pork-chops!

Anonymous said...

Oh my! Yeah, your vocabulary matches your mental age: about ten. Oh, I'm sorry, I just insulted all the ten year olds. I've seen and/or heard better schoolyard abuse from an eight year old.

Who tried to hide whom? Everybody, including you, knows who I am. I could use the Google Account name, but every time that I try to post something in that manner, something goes south. 'Anonymous' never seems to fail. If I wanted to hide myself, that would be easy. I could even go to Best Buy and post it under some name like 'Rose Bush, Daughter of W' so that you could neither figure out who I might be or get my IP Address. Yup, yore reel samrt, figgerin' owt hoo sumbuddy iz what ain't trah-in tuh hahd hoo hee iz.

Yeah, you have your moments, allright, but you can not deal with a confrontation. If anyone calls you on your nonsense for a long enough time, you will go scurrying away, yelping, with your tail tucked between your legs. As for hiding, you will try to hide it with a lame imitation of Al Sharptongue, but I have always seen your tripe for what it is.

How about you stand up a minute and take some of that pressure off your brain so that it might do something that remotely resembles functioning?

I never smoked crack, that is what supporters of morondotorg do.

Yup, you are a Sexual Intellectual, allright, a Fucking Know-it-All. What? Have you decided to compete with Gay Paul to replace Jumping Jack as Obnoxious Know-it-All In Chief?

There is nothing wrong with eating pork chops. Just because you like to eat that stuff that looks like it belongs in the bottom of the bird cage does not mean that everyone else does. I do not damn you for what you eat, so you need not worry about what I eat. But then, since you are a supporter of morondotorg, you believe that it is your business to stick your nose into everyone else's.

.....or is it that since you do not have a life, you think that no one else has one, either?

Mad Cabbie said...

Phil, you wish you have my life. You are a fat white man pushing 60 who works THREE JOBS okay, don't tell me you have a life. You are an angry and a bitter scumbag who comes on the radio and shit on your Ghanian yes-men puppies. By the way how many jobs did you steal today? I am glad I am home now before I start hearing your depressing voice.

I am done with you Phil but if you want to go any further, Pastor Joe has an interesting old story about you and your bride that he would love to post! I can't believe I defended you all these years, but what do you expect from an ex crackhead?


Anonymous said...

'Pushing 60' would be agge fifty-eight. I am not fifty eight. Crash goes that chariot.

I work two jobs part time and one some time. I assume that you are trying to assert that I spend every waking hour at work or on my way to or from work. Not so. The only exception to this would be the period between Labour Day and Thanksgiving. I do this so that I can earn money to buy Christmas presents for my family and friends. This way, I do not run up my credit cards and spend the rest of the year paying for Christmas. I wonder how you 'know' so much about me. Do you wonder why I call you a Sexual Intellectual? Crash goes that chariot.

I see that we have graduated from eight year old schoolyard abuse to eighth grade gym class locker room abuse; puerile then and puerile, still. Do you really wonder why I make derogatory statements about your mental and emotional development? That chariot never took off TO crash.

If you actually knew ten per-cent of what you claim to know about what goes on in the office and/or the radio room at Diamond, you would know that your statement on my 'stealing jobs' is ridiculous on the face of it. I have eight people spying on me. If I forget my 7/11 coffee in the car and run out to get it, Senior Management knows it. If I 'stole' anything, I would not be there anymore. That is just one reason why your calling me a 'thief' is ridiculous on the face of it. There are other reasons, that I will save for another post, if called for. All of those stories that you hear about my supposedly stealing jobs are sixth hand lies told to you by ignorant people. Crash goes that chariot.

I am just as glad not to hear your voice as you are not to hear mine. Not that I would know it if I did hear it, as I have repeatedly stated that I do not know who you are. I have also stated, more than once, that if the worst thing that happens to me in a week is that I still do not know who you are, I will have had a PRETTY GOOD week.

Finally, we resort to blackmail if I refuse to acknowledge that one contestant has appointed himself referee and declared that the contest has come to an end. Aren't you forgetting to declare one more thing? And you call me a 'pussy'. Blackmail is the first resort of a pussy.

I have probably hit my character limit, so let us post this and deal with this 'Pastor Joe' thing subsequently.

Anonymous said...

Now, to this 'Pastor Joe' matter.

I do not know Pastor Joe, nor do I know who he is. If I have ever met him, it had to have been before 1994, and I do not remember him. If I recall correctly, you have stated that he drives at Yellow. If he ever drove for Diamond, it must have been before 1994. I do not remember him.

If he ever met Deena, it had to have been some time before 1994. She has never mentioned him. Whatever happened before 1994 is irrelevant.

Thus, anything that Pastor Joe supposedly 'knows' about Deena and me is NOT first hand. Likely, it is sixth hand, as is most of what you assert that you 'know' about me. Pastor Joe may allege that it is from a so-called 'reliable source', but we all know that even fourth hand 'knowledge' from supposedly 'reliable' sources are the poisoned seeds of urban myth, at best, and out and out lies, at worst.

I have all sorts of ideas about what this fantastic tale could possibly be, but it will cause me to lose no sleep, as it is likely a trainload of lies.

Oh, and one more thing about blackmail. I learned, at the ripe old age of six, not to be worried about a blackmailer's threats. If you give in to a blackmailer, the demands just get more and more ridiculous, until you can no longer meet them and he publishes, anyhow. So, he has gotten from you all of this stuff, both real and proverbial, and he still tries to ruin you. I learned this lesson from my little sister, who caught me doing something that I had no business doing. She tortured me for a week, until I realised, at that lordly age, what was coming, and told her the six-year-old's equivalent of 'publish and be damned'. She published, I got in trouble, but she did not bleed me of everything. My siblings quickly learned that they were wasting their time trying to squeeze me. If they were going to snitch, they should snitch and be done with it.

Anyhow, have a nice day and do not forget to display your gasolene surcharge sign.

Xdiamond Driver said...

Mad Cabbie, don't waste your precious energy on this faggot. I am glad you brought it up, that motherfucker and his hore wife used steal jobs like crazy. Mr Best came in and cleaned house and now the aging faggot is back. I am glad I don't have to deal with that homo. His wife used to feed couple of African drivers with stolen jobs, they probably give to her good to return the favor since her husband is a dickless faggot.

you don't believe me? Ask Chris #54

I am glad you are back Zebra, i haven't checked this joint in about a year bro!

Xdiamond driver.

Anonymous said...

This is getting more interesting than the blog!


Blue Eyes.

Mad Cabbie said...

Xdiamond, what's up dude,I agree with most of what you said but Deena is an extremely friendly person that's all. I bought some shit from her ebay store years ago for my mother....Hey Deena send a link to your store if you still running it, I will promote it...your husband thinks I am an idiot but the monthly math group I am involved with beg to differ!

Shut up Blue Eyes!

Anonymous said...

Mad Cabbie, I don't agree with some off the stuff you write but what's the problem with this guy. He is hustling you for mis-spelling LOSER? He is the one who should go out there and get a life. Your writting may not be perfect but at one time your blog was one of the 50 top blogs in Washington, the only reason you are not on it right now is you don't update it as much. Mad don't let ney sayers like that jerk discourage you and keep writting.


Peggy said...

Nice to see you helping your friend.

I bet he didn't eat much during the month of August.

I hear that the bribe/bakshish culture can get wearing for people used to western-style business.