Few years ago I was finishing my shift around six in the morning and I was heading home until this chic franticly waving at me in the middle of Connecticut Avenue near Military road like a mad person. It wasn't my plan to stop for her but the red traffic light didn't cooperate with me so she rushed towards me and made a failed attempt to open my locked doors. I rolled my front passenger window to listen to what she had to say and to tell her that I was off duty and I was driving my tired ass home.
CHIC: Can you please take me to National Airport?
MC: Sorry I am off duty! Just cross on the other side and flag another cab!
CHIC: Yellow Cab was supposed to pick me up at 5:30 and I am running late!
MC: Yellow are a bunch of losers you should have called Diamond.
CHIC: Can you please, please take me to National...Please?
MC: I am not trying to be an ass-hole but I am fucken tired?
CHIC: It's only a 15 minute ride this time of the morning, come on! please help me out, I am going to miss my flight and probably loose my job!
I felt sorry for her and besides, those set of balloons she had on hear chest closed the deal so I unlocked the doors and let her in. I flipped an impressive u-turn heading south bound on Connecticut Avenue and warned her not be a backseat driver by pressuring me to speed because her hurry ass would be back out on Connecticut Avenue standing again. I am not one of those idiot cab drivers who zig zag in and out of traffic doing 90mph so that you can make your flight on time! Fuck you and your $5 tip! My drivers license is my meal ticket and I have to protect it.
We just traveled about five blocks and when we got to Nebraska Avenue all hell broke loose! She screamed, "Get me out of hear NOW! Pull over! I will get out right here!" I was confused about what happened all of a sudden to make her snap like that, so I pulled up to the Exxon station at the corner to let her out and she didn't even gave me a chance to ask her why she turned hysterical, she got out and kept on running down Connecticut Avenue bouncing those voluptuous boobs without shutting the door.
It's when I got out of the cab to shut the passenger door that I noticed a loaded gun was sitting on the left side of the passenger seat! I freaked out as well! Who left that gun? I had given a ride to all kind of shady characters all night long, It had to be one of those fine citizens. Without touching the gun I drove straight to the 2nd District Police Station on Idaho Avenue and explained what happened to the cops. They took the gun, copied my manifest for that shift, asked me a few questions and sent my ass home.
Washington DC enforces one of the toughest gun laws in the country by denying firearms to law biding citizens to protect themselves from thugs like the one who left his piece in the backseat of my taxicab. As some of you may know, the case District of Columbia vs Heller is heading to the Supreme Court and I hope the justices will agree with U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit which struck down this stupid ass law.
I am not a NRA gun fanatic and I will never illegally or legally own a gun because I am a big pussy but I like the fact that the case is presented as a Second Amendment right and I think it should be interpreted that way. Listen, I don't need to tell you how many gunshot victims I have seen lying on the streets of Washington DC over the years of night driving, and that tells me the unconstitutional DC law is not working to keep illegal unlicensed guns off the street. I can go out in DC tonight and buy all the illegal guns I want and invade the State of Vermont first thing in the morning! So what's the purpose of this law? The problem goes beyond the guns and I am not going to bore you with it. All I can tell you is Shawn Taylor would have been playing for the Washington Redskins next season if he had a gun in his bedroom that tragic night.
Please don't forget the homeless,