Tuesday, March 25, 2008

THE URGE TO EJACULATE.

When the story of the disgraced New York's ex governor Eliot Spitzer broke I wasn't surprised at all. It's not that I knew about his rendezvous with high priced hookers, but it's due to my long experience of driving hookers to men with and without power. Let me break it down for you ladies, if you have been together with your man for over ten years or so there is a 99% chance that your hubby had cheated on you, the other 1% lied their asses off. You need to be equipped with a dick to understand this concept. So the relationship between married clean cut powerful men and hookers, high priced or otherwise is a no shocking matter.

"Mad Cabbie! what the fuck is wrong with you nigger? You are breaking the code motherfucker! Why do you have to go there? Thanks to you, now I can't bullshit my wife with those lame ass dozen roses, boxes of chocolates and the I Love You cards. And by the way, that young whore you hooked me up with last week, that shit was tight boy! I already told my wife that I am going to work late tonight(wink! wink!) so I will give you a call later you dumb ass!"

"Shut up you idiot! Don't ever butt in my blog like this again, I didn't break any codes, smart women have known this for years! Now I have a story to tell, do you mind?"

I have know this guy from the state of ** for years, he is a frequent visitor of Washington. He is a married man in his late forties with two teen daughters and doing very well in life, he is not a household name but he is a guy you see on TV being interviewed from time to time who is powerful and confident. But it is at his weakest moment whenever he is in my cab, during a desperate emotional roller coster to conquer a new hired pussy. One thing what makes this guy different is, unlike other men he never wants to see the same hooker again which makes him more vulnerable to be recognized by a hooker who could be a frequent viewer of cable news.

We were en route from his hotel to another low profile motel last night when he started to discuss why he fucks around behind his wife's back with hookers. All these years I never ask and he never discusses and that's why he likes me and pays me very well, and on top of that he thinks I am a loyal dumb ass cabbie who doesn't know who he is. I am out here just to get paid so I just play along with people's bullshit as long as they don't cross my space. He tells me getting a blow job from a hooker is not cheating, he is just fulfilling his sexual urge to ejaculate without getting emotionally involved with a woman. He believes he is very much in love with his wife of sixteen years and never had an affair with another woman and he wants to keep it that way. I wanted to ask him what would he feel if his wife started to blow off different boy toys without any emotional attachment but I didn't want to short-change myself from the usual big tip I get.

We pulled in front of room # *** at the motel, I saw him entering the room in to the welcoming hands of a twenty something blond hottie. I backed up in to the parking area to wait for his ass and take him back downtown while he was getting a nice lube job. Forty-five minutes later my man came back with a happy face and we talked about the falling US Dollar the rest of the way.

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

15 comments:

blue eyes said...

I think YOU ARE breaking the code MC!

Peggy said...

Well if my husband cheated on me, he is wise to lie his ass off about it. I may forgive him, but I'd never forget and on top of that, I might just snap all his records in two (he has thousands).

Xtreme English said...

cut to the chase, uncle mad....what did he say about the dollar??? i'm afraid the souvenir euros in my desk drawer are soon gonna be worth more than my paycheck.

peggy's mom

lizzie said...

seriously, all but 1% cheat? that makes me sad. :(

Lucy Honeychurch said...

Wait, really? REALLY? I just don't get why the concept of fidelity is so impossible. :(

johnnypeepers said...

I thought Tucker Carlson was gay

Dinosaur Mom said...

Dino Spouse is fuming that the secret is out. Just on behalf of the other 99% of course, since he would never dream of straying.

Mad Cabbie said...

Why do you care blue eyes? Aren't you single? If my memory serves me correctly, the last time you had some action Jimmy Carter was in the White House.

Peggy! You don't mess with a man's records and his tools. Cutting off his penis would be a lighter punishment!

Peggy's mom, I agree with you 100% you better save those Euros. This guy who is an expert believes the weak dollar could help us turn around the economy even though we will suffer in a short term! Weak Dollar = less imports and more exports = less deficit.

Lizzie, it is a sad fact but true! I probably exaggerated when I said 99% but a good majority of men cheat! Jesse is a good boy, you don't have to worry about a thing! I will be watching him out there like hawk....I got you back sis!

Lucy, you will be surprised how many naive people who believe in fairy tales!

Johny! Are you up to something? Tucker Carlson gay? I thought all conservatives are straight family men like Senator Larry Craig!

Dinosaur Mom, No worries, Columbia men don't have time to cheat...They are busy driving van full of kids going to the next practice while the wives chill at some yoga class!

Red said...

There you go freaking people out with your 99%.

To cheat equals weakness.

If your theory is spot on... Then that proves men are the weaker sex.

Babycakes said...

That's so sad, if that is so true. Why do men want to cheat? It's cheating!

Mad Cabbie said...

Of course men are the weaker sex, you should know that by now Red!

Babycakes, both sexes have the fantasy of sleeping with the non-significant other. It's usually men who are the weak ones to act on it!

Lugosi said...

Thank God I can't afford expensive hookers! On the other hand, it would be nice to occasionally get one who still has all her teeth.

peggy's mom said...

uncle mad, i'm still pondering your statistics..."if you've been married over 10 years, there's a 99% chance your husband has cheated on you." which means....what? it doesn't mean 99% of married men cheat. that figure is not matched by ANY research other than what goes on in bragging arenas such as taxi cabs and bars.

and i agree with peggy. it'd be far worse for the man of her house if she snapped all his records in two. trust me on this one, uncle mad. i'd advise him not to test the waters. never mess with (cheat on) a leo.

Lucy Honeychurch said...

But I LIKE fairy tales.

Damn it.

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