Tuesday, February 01, 2011

BEN HAS A GIRLFRIEND

High-Tech Ben called me up last night and insisted that we meet because he had something important to tell me. I was rolling last night and I really didn't want to stop hacking but after his fifteenth phone call I gave up and agreed to to meet up at one of our overnight hang out spots around three in the morning.

When we usually meet up and chill, we hang for about an hour and he may talk for thirty seconds and I yap for the rest of fifty nine minutes and thirty seconds. Last night it was different, he was doing all the talking, Ben is in LOVE! How did he pulled it off? I have known Ben for many years and I have never seen him with a woman before, the last boyfriend-girlfriend relationship that he talks is about a blind girl he dated in high school and that was about a hundred years ago. Ben is a creepy guy and has  "A future serial killer" written all over his forehead but I like him, the only subjects that he talk about comfortably are about the latest electronic gadgets and World War II. Its easy to spot Ben because he likes to hack around the hookers corner at K and M streets downtown with his surveillance gears on board.

Ben comes from a wealthy family and he inherited one of his parent's paid off house in Rockville, but both of his well to do professional sisters broke off any communication with him for a reason that he don't like to talk about. Ben is also a very good cab driver, he has a way of hacking that he mastered to an exact science. I know cab driving is an honest living but there has to be some shit during our childhood that makes us hang on to this crazy profession as a career. I wonder what went wrong with Ben?

Mad: This better be good motherfucker, I was on a roll tonite until you slowed my ass down bitch, so whats up High-Tech?
Ben: I think I need you to check out this woman I like.
Mad: what makes you think I am an expert, I haven't get laid yet in 2011
Ben: She is blind and Jewish.
Mad: What the fuck is with you and these blind women? And why do you care whether she is Jewish or not? When is the last time you showed up at a synagogue ever since your bar mitzvah motherfucker?
Ben: This is no joke man, she is a good woman and she likes me.
Mad: Well at least she won't be able to see your creepy ass!

Few weeks ago Ben picked this blind woman with a see-eye-dog and drove her to the animal hospital on Brandywine street, she dropped her dog off and had Ben drive her back home. On the way home Ben mentioned that he dated a blind girl in high school and they ended up talking in his cab for two hours. I just cant imagine High-Tech Ben talking to another human being for two hours, I guess he really likes her. His plan was he wanted me to stay up late and drive little more so he can show me his girl this morning at her regular bus stop on her way to her federal job.

So it was early this morning that two retarded cab drivers parked at a street corner stalking a blind woman and her see-eye-dog at a bus stop. I was surprised man, she is one blind woman who really takes care of herself and I don't know why he needed my stamp of approval. As far as I am concerned he did well, he probably told her that he looks like George Clooney. He is going to take her to his house this weekend and he might get lucky too.

"Mad, what a pathetic life you have! Even the creepy ass High-Tech-Ben is going to get laid before you do this year you looser!"

Come on man, why beat on a brother when he's down?

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mad, I don't believe for a second that you haven't done the nasty yet this year.

I think Ben has some serious issues, the fact that he goes after blind women accounts for hiding from some realities he doesn't want to deal with. There is nothing wrong with dating blind people but when you develop a fetish, it may be a problem.

Julie.

Anonymous said...

Zebra, that idiot has a man crush on you, if I were you I stay away as far as possible. remember right after that robbery, he tried to overdose and kill himself in a movie theater! who would commit a fucken suicide while watching Toy Story?

Pastor Joe