Wednesday, August 20, 2008

COMFORT MY ASS


"Welcome to the Comfort Inn & Suites, a Washington, D.C. hotel near the Lincoln Memorial...The Comfort Inn & Suites® hotel is conveniently located in the heart of the city, offering easy access to many museums, historical landmarks and popular attractions......In addition to the many nearby landmarks, Washington, D.C. is full of many great theaters, entertainment venues, cultural attractions and shopping centers. A variety of restaurants and cocktail lounges can be found in the surrounding area, including several within walking distance..."

This is what the Comfort Inn at 1600 New York avenue NE bullshit on their website. The only thing you can find with in a walking distance from this dump is getting robbed and stabbed by one of those nice gentlemen who hang out by the gas stations. So you better stay put in your hotel room listening to the moaning of some douchebag next door banging a hooker.

Last night I picked up a couple of hookers in front of the Washington Post and took them to this same hotel where they staying. They were crying and complaining about business being slow, but I told them to chill because everything else in Washington is slow in August. Everyone is out of town this month, the only crowd in the city are the tourists and the type of visitors who come to Washington are the family types. They are not looking for hookers, the men just bang their wives while thinking of those hookers they just saw around the corner. The only time they crave for a hired pussy is when they come back alone to Washington as businessmen, so hopefully things will pickup next month girls!

As soon as I dropped them off and driving away, I see these poor couple with their two young daughters running towards me dragging their suitcases trying to get my attention. The Dad sat next to me, the wife and the young girls in the back seat.

DAD: Please take us to another hotel near the museums, I don't care what they charge!
ME: You didn't like the place?
DAD: I am sorry that my kids had to go through this!
ME: What happened are you guys alright?
WIFE: There were these two women fighting on our hallway...
DAD: And this big blind naked man was yelling and trying to separate the women...
WIFE: My girls are terrified right now!
DAD: We thought this hotel was in downtown...I have never seen anything like this...

Welcome to my world the family from Colorado! To make this long story short, after a few tries I hooked them up with a room at the Crown Plaza Hotel on 14th and K, we hugged and said our good byes. Those kids may need a therapy pretty soon, looking at a fat naked blind man running around a hotel hallway is not a pretty site.

Please don't forget the homeless and stay away from the motels on New York avenue unless the rooms come with bulletproof vests.

Mad Cabbie.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's where I lost my virginity!!! This is way back in the seventies.

Lv ur BLOG.

King of New York Hacks said...

sounds like Bill Clinton, Hillary, and Monica Lewinsky all booked the same room.

Peggy said...

If this scenario had played out in another country we would have said what an unsafe 3rd world hell hole it is . . . .

As for me, I would have thought it funny to see the fat nekkid blind man and the hookers, but I've got a trashy side to me that digs that stuff.

Anonymous said...

Mad I tell you. You have a way with words. That was funny!!!!

Moi

Lugosi said...

you should have dropped them at the Mandarin.... Or were they on a budget?

Philip said...

A-h-h-h-h-h-h, Motel Alley............. Much like the Not Yetworth of your previous post, there are big plans for Motel Alley, but they will have to find somewhere for the welfare cases.

Motel Alley's major problem is accessibility. There is no public transportation out there and the cab drivers do not want to go out there. The City has talked about putting back the trolley cars on Georgia Avenue and Deanwood to Anacostia, but the PRIME candidate for a trolley line here would be New York Avenue. As long as Access to Motel Alley is difficult, it will be the garbage hole that it is, despite the ATF building on one end and the three new hotels on the other. As soon as the developers open a hotel, the City fills them with welfare cases. When the Chinese bought that one on the North side of New York Avenue a few years back, they displaced hundreds of welfare cases.

I would not be surprised if the gubbamint tried to ship them out to flea bags in Prince George's County. There were rumours that the previous mayor had such plans under serious consideration.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Based on the Comfort Inn's description, I wonder if they meant the CI on 13th Street just south of Logan Circle? That one is within walking distance of the Mall, but I'm not sure I'd stay there either.

New York Avenue is a blight and a traffic nightmare. I avoid it at all costs.

Betsy said...

Mad you have a way with words and are a true blue hero. I hope I meet you some dark and dreary night just to hear you talk.

Anonymous said...

Great post as usual!

Seriously people, when you get a deal on a hotel room, it ain't a deal for no reason! Look on a map folks!

Dinosaur Mom said...

Roar of approval.