Saturday, July 07, 2007


Yes that's right cab drivers go out and have fun too! you have a problem with that?
Tuesday night (July 4th eve) when I was getting prepared to go out I was telling myself that I HAVE to get laid that night because it has been almost two month for me and I was real horny and I was on a mission.

My friend Sarah had her two of her old girlfriends visiting from Maine staying at her apartment in Dupont and she was having a small get together party. So the plan was to stop by her party and see if I can hook up with one of her friends and sneak out of there and go out for more drinks and dancing and see what happens.

I live 30 miles north of DC in Columbia, Maryland so I drove to my parents house to leave my car there since they live only a couple of miles outside the city. I bullshitted with my old man for a few minutes and I took a Barwood cab to stop by at "the Dancing Crab on Wisconsin Avenue and have a few drinks and say hello to my bartender friends, I left the Dancing Crab around 11 and took another cab to Dupont to attend Sarah's party.

The room was full of chicks, It was like a paradise for guys, there were about 30 people in the party and I will say about only ten guys. I was dressed all black and simple but nice. I pulled Sarah over and I asked to be introduced to her friends from Maine and she did, both of them were attractive but my eyes were on Kate, she is tall maybe 5'9"-5'10" and and very outgoing. The party was boring and lame (sorry Sarah!) but I even told her then. You see Sarah works in Capitol Hill and all her friends are the young congressional aide types and they were just standing against the wall and sipping on their drinks and engaging in boring conversation to be carried on at a party! I am all for stimulating and intelligent conversation but give me a fucken break it's the July 4th weekend I don't want to hear about the failed immigration bill.

I called my man Ghost and he said he was at the 1223 club chilling and I asked him to wait for me and hanged up the phone. I then turned around and asked Kate and her friend if they wanted to hang out with me and party, they wanted to but later in the night so I gave them my number and I left.

I walked a few blocks to 1223 and the line to get in was packed around the block, while some of you motherfuckers were waiting to get in, Mad Cabbie hugged and hi-fived the bouncer, chit chatted a little bit and went right in leaving your sorry ass behind. Ghost and Co.were setting in one of the VIP rooms so I relaxed and had more drinks with them but since my objective for the night was to get laid I had to move on and split from that party again but I was beginning to get toasted.

I left 1223 a little after one o'clock and hopped on a cab towards Adams Morgan and my phone rang and it was Angry Dan! I know Angry Dan through Wall Street Tom (God bless his soul) Dan was also Italian who grew up in Brooklyn with Tom. He is always angry about something but always proud to mention that he has a huge dick by saying "Even niggers pray to have my Italian dick!"

DAN: Yo Zebra, what you doing nigger? are you working
MC: What's up Angry, No I am not working, I am on my way to Adams Morgan!
DAN: What the fuck are you doing in Adams Morgan?
MC: I am trying to get laid tonight man, I am going to hit the clubs!
DAN: Are you turning in to a rookie? Fuck Adams Morgan! get your ass here to the Bunker ASAP bitch! It's a full house tonight and Pastor Joe is on the way!

I told my cabbie that there was a change of plans and he detoured and gave me a ride to the Bunker. I threw in an extra $10 on top of the fare and my Afghani driver was asking himself "When did these niggers start tipping like this?" but he didn't know that I am a fellow driver. When I take cabs it means that I am drinking or drunk and when I am having a good time I don't like to talk about the cab business with a fellow driver by letting him know I drive a cab as well so I always like to be a regular drunk passenger and talk shit, like this driver was rapping about his family opium farm back in Afghanistan and what it was like growing up working in the farm back in the days! It was an interesting ride.

The BUNKER is at an undisclosed location like Dick Chaney so I can't talk about that. It's like an after hour members only social club and when I say members only it's not like you carry a members ID but they have to know you to let you in. I was one of the first regulars when this Russian chick started the joint over ten years ago and it's open until 6am. There are all kind of finger foods and boozes you want but there is no check or bill, technically the food and drinks are free for legal reasons but there is a big ass jar where you can leave a tip for the service. (You get it?)

When I entered the dimly lighted room I saw a group of hookers I knew over the years as they were playing cards and I stopped by their table and said hello. Sitting alone next to them was J, a very hot young hooker maybe 20 or 21 smoking a cigarette and looking very depressed so I sat with her for a while and cheered her up a little. That is one girl I really want to save out of that life style but it is a very hard thing to do because she is making way too much money for her age. I walked over to the other room and there were bunch of area bartenders having good times and to my left I walked towards Angry Dan, Pastor Joe, Mr Hook, Fox the Cabbie, some guy I don't know and three biker chics who were Pastor's guests. I pulled a chair and sat and introduced myself to the chicks and boy I don't know where Pastor found these old chicks, they look 80 or something and at my drunken stage my chick age limit is 70 or 75 but 80 is pushing it boys and girls.

Around 3:30am my phone rang and I was completely toasted at that point, It was Kate the chick from Maine calling, she said Sarah's party was over and everyone was tired but she still has few energy left and that was music to my ears since I gave up the idea of getting laid to that point. I called a Diamond Cab for her to pick her up from Dupont and bring her to the Bunker and 45 minutes later here she was showing off her long legs. I met her outside and held her hands and guided her inside and by the look of her eyes she was kind of shocked to see all the shady creatures having a good time 4:30 in the morning.

She had couple of more drinks and was getting tipsy but we had a great conversation and lots of laughters and sitting next to her and watching those legs and feeling them mad my pipe overextended. I was enjoying her company but she was tired and we left the place around 5:30am and I didn't want to try a fast one and mess it up so we took a cab back to Dupont but we did make out a little bit in the lobby and said good bye. We do have plans to hook up again Saturday before she leaves on Sunday back home and I know Pastor and the rest of you are thinking that I am a pussy because I didn't close the deal but I know what I am doing so shut the fuck up.

By the time the cab dropped my drunk ass off in front of my parents house it was close to 7am, so I sneaked in to the basement and crashed until I sobered up.

"What a fucken looser you are Mad! you're too fucken old to sneak in to your parents basement drunk you idiot!!!"

Whatever man, all I know is I had some difficulty sleeping while my dick was yelling at me telling me what a pussy I was not letting him have some action that night and this story is to be continued....

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.


MAC said...

What a life you have MC, I am jealous!

Sara said...

Thanks for showing Kate a good time, she thinks that you're too cool (crazy about your hair) and you might get lucky tonite.

and my party wasn't boring you bozo! There were no bottles flying around like the ones you are used to, that I agree on.

Love ya Zebra

We will see you later!

june in florida said...

Good luck Mad.

Lugosi said...

Great post. Maybe you should submit it to Penthouse.
Yes, as a matter of fact I'm being VERY sarcastic!

J-Funk said...

Wow what a night! I like that it ended with you sneaking into your parents basement at 7 am. That part I can identify with. I've never been to a "members only" social club though - you are a good man to know!

Eryn said...

Mad, that's some serious catting around you've been doing. From Congressional-aids to prostitutes and back again, all in one night.
Rock out... well, you know the rest, don't you?

Claire said...

Shop talk can be a real turn-off, MC, I don't blame you for bailing early. It sounds like Kate was into you but she was afraid to leave the party full of women who would roast her for leaving with a stud. I saw some of those secret, after hours clubs in the movie "Swingers" with Vince Vaughn. This movie is a cult classic and I can picture the scene. Sounds like you played your cards right, Babe. Can't wait for the next installment.

Anonymous said...

Mad you crack me up...bring a smile to my day! Letting her go to sleep was a smart move! You'll get it this weekend I'm sure. Let us loyal fans know!

JustMeWriting said...

WOW... LOL, this was too funny.

Eryn said...

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume that no news is good news.

kilgorsky said...

Mad, I might have said that before but you should turn this websit into a six digit book deal, man.

I'm laughing out loud reading your stories.

Btw, how does it feel to be a cab passenger once in a while?

Uncle Keith said...

Mad, you make the characters so vivid in your stories. It's fun to imagine everyone out livin' the life in the city, when some of the rest of us are tucked away in the burbs. Are you going to Ethiopia?

G.S. said...

Oh, God, Mad, I'm writing this on 7/16 and there's still no word on what happened with Kate the Chick from Maine! You'd better make something up and it better be good! p.s. great post!

Anonymous said...

I can't believe someone of your wit and intelligence not to mention your looks has ever gone more than a day let alone two months! Sigh...if I only lived in DC

Red said...

Your such a tease!

John said...

Mad have you gone into orbit again after your mad spin?

june in florida said...

Mad you better have gone to Ethiopia, no other excuse will do.

Anonymous said...

Dude we miss you ... keep posting dude.