Wednesday, December 20, 2006


I was reading this post by OC girl and the post was about the last Christmas gift Lizzie gave to her boyfriend Jesse which required thoughts, determination, effort and a little luck. The result? The best Christmas present her boyfriend ever got! Please read it it's a nice warm good spirited story.

"Mad are you dying or what? what's up with the uplifting Christmas story?"

No I am not dying, the reason I mentioned OC girl's post is because, like I commented in her blog I want to talk about the best Christmas gift I ever got and mark the 10th anneversery of that gift and I am not talking about that ugly ass purple jacket that Pastor Joe gave me years ago.

It was the night of December 23rd 1996 few minutes after eleven O'clock at the corner of 10th and G streets north east, a fine African American gentleman in the back seat of my cab said to me with a loud nervous voice: "CUT THE CHEESE MOTHERFUCKER, UNLESS YOU WANT A HOMICIDE IN THIS JOINT!!!" For some reason I wasn't nervous or scared in fact the phrase "Cut the cheese" was kind of funny thing to say while knocking off a cab driver I wanted to laugh, but this was no laughing matter the nigga didn't have time for a laughter or a chit chat, it was a serious business with a gun pointed at the back of my head. While I handed over my wallet and cash I said with a calm voice something like this, "I know it's tough out there bro and take everything... It's all there... I am not looking just run and Merry Christmas!" I was calm even though I was shitting in my pants.

The only time I saw him was when he entered my cab at Georgia avenue and it was dark, I never turned around and looked while the robbery was going on and after I gave him everything and he listened to what I had to say, there was a pause for a few seconds and I thought I would see what my brain looked like all over the windshield but instead the punk said "IT'S YOUR LUCKY NIGHT AND I WILL LET YOU LIVE MOTHERFUCKER!" and he opened the door and ran away in to the darkness.

I am one of the few cab drivers in Washington DC who pick up everyone without judging or discriminating, maybe that's not smart on my side but what the fuck, there are lots of decent and money paying brothas who need my service and I didn't let that incident discourage me to continue to do so. I look at it this way, he got what he wanted that night, few bucks! and I got what I always want, my life! and that was the best Christmas gift I ever had.

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie


Twoste said...

I feel strangely enlivened with the need to go to church.

Anonymous said...

I have been in your cab before and you do practice what you preach!

Brotha from Petworth.

Anonymous said...

That is reckless just to stuff in everyone that you see on the street in your cab, you will be dead soon.

Peggy said...

Cut the cheese? I guess he didn't want you to fart but I don't know any other meanings for that phrase.

I'm so glad that fare didn't get any worse.

God bless.


Anonymous said...

MAD CABBIE, I am one of those African American professional male who works in downtown DC, thanks for drivers like yourself who put your life on the line to give service for everyone, If not for cab drivers like yourself I would be walking 5 miles to my house after a long long day at the office because sadly nine times out of ten DC cab drivers wouldn't stop for me at night even though I am standing out there with a suit and tie and a brief case.

Thank you Mad Cabbie and be safe.


Anonymous said...

I HATE DC cab drivers!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

You guys got huge balls driving around at night in DC and I hope those black dudes tip you well!


lizzie said...

thanks for the shout out, Mad. you're so sweet...and don't let anyone tell you otherwise (esp. pastor joe)!

by the way, expensive jacket vs. your life...something tells me that you got the better xmas gift!

Anonymous said...

The thing I don't understand is why so many DC cab drivers don't want to invest in those bullet-proof shield dividers? It's not perfect but it helps. I know you Mad Cabbie (Mr Zebra), I am a friend of your cop friend. Please take care of yourself during these crazy holiday season.


Claire said...

Hi Cabbie,

That is one heck of a Christmas Story and I'm glad you lived to tell it!!!!!
You really conducted yourself like an expert. I think the guy was scared and meant to say "Cut the crap!" But he couldn't think straight. That's a "tell" that he was nervous. You did good.

I really admire you for not racially profiling. Awhile back, in 1999, Danny Glover from the "Lethal Weapon" series and "The Color Purple" movie, etc., held a press conference because he could not get a cab to stop for him in NYC because of race, it brought up a big question with no easy answers. I don't blame the cab drivers who didn't stop, either.

Stay safe, Cabbie, and all your fellow Cabbies, too!!!!!

Peace and Hugs,


P.S. Happy Holidays!

Anonymous said...

I am glad that you are still alive!


Mad Cabbie said...

They wouldn't allow you in any kind of Church Twoste!

Bro from Petworth, any time man!

Anonymous, I am going to die soon? so what? I am enjoying every second of my life! are you?

Peggy, you might be right maybe he ment to say "Please don't cut the cheese while you hand me your wallet!"
Merry Christmas Peggy! and I have to send my seasons greeting to that old chic who lives on Q street as well!

I feel your pain Robert but in case you see a white cabbie with a bolding hair, bad tatoo and a bible on the dashboard refusing to give you a ride, please let me know!

You HATE DC cabbies? Merry Christmas you Jackass!

Brothas take care of me TJ, it's the sistaz who short change me! Black chics are angry most of the time for some reason!

Lizzie, thanks for inspiring me to write this post! Jesse better pop that rock this Christmas. Hey Jesse my man, please don't try buy the rock from a shady pawn shop like pastor did years ago for some chic, he is still wondering why she didn't say yes. Merry Christmas guys!

Thanks DC Cop, to be honest with you I hate those dividers, I like to bullshit with my passengers, thats why I love this job! Those shields prevent me to interact with my drunk clients! you take care as well and I hope you catch some drunk drivers and get them off the street.

Thanks Claire, thugs are usually nervous when they do their armed robberies and like you said maybe he wanted to say "cut the crap!" but who gives a shit I am alive. Merry Christmas to you and your boy!

Yeah Baby, I am alive enough to see those pic of yours Beth, haba haba haba Christmas to you!

John said...

Happy Christmas and a prosperous new year from Dublin

Xtreme English said...

Merry Christmas, Mad Cabbie....I'm so happy you had just a brush with death. I've had a few, too, and wot the hey....we're still here!

God love you and keep you....Peggy's mom

legal alien said...


Ihope u had a Merry Christmas , and I am so glad that u lived to tell us this story.

kilgorsky said...

Man, has anyone contacted you about writing movie scripts yet? You could turn your life story into a block buster.

Btw, If I was there, I'd shit my pants for real.

Mad Cabbie said...

Thanks John, please drink one dark one for me! Happy New Year:

Peggy's mom, I like your Christmas tree by the way and have a great new year! brush with death? I hope it didn't involve a gun like mine did!

What up Legal, Christmas was great with family and stuff and I hope you are enjoying your Christmas break with the ladies. I am glad that I am alive as well, I don't want to check out yet because I have a lot to contribute to society. You have a great and productive New Year!

Kil my man, I think there might have been a few skid marks in my pants....Couple of months ago some dude in L.A emailed me that he was interested in being my agent but I found out that he is a mechanic on the side as well! Happy New Year Kil!