TALL GIRL SHORT BOY

I was cruising down Connecticut avenue one night near Uptown Theater when I was flagged down by a tall blond woman. When I say tall, real tall, like six feet and change and very attractive too. Usually very tall girls have horse faces but this chic was hot and curvy at the right places. There was a short dude standing next to her, I thought for a while he was her son or something. He was at least six inches shorter than her with a very boyish look.

They wanted to go the Russia House and as soon as I started driving she was all over him, her hand between his legs and lips locked. I didn't know what to do, I was like should I call the child protective service or something, or should I flag down one of the cops off the street? This woman is raping this young boy! After a few minutes the guy asked me if I was doing okay, I was relieved that he turned out to be an adult. He really sounded much older than he looked so I stopped looking for cops. We started talking and bull-shitting, and the funny thing was, she kept rubbing his crotch while she was explaining the plot of the Harry Potter movie to me. She didn't stop massaging his pipe until we got to the Russia House.

That midget got to have a huge snake between his legs, because I know for a fact that very tall girls don't go for dudes with small wieners.

"How did you know that fact Mad? Does it mean you're packing a tiny belly-button in your pants and got dumped quite a few times by tall chics?" 

Shut up you idiot, I am not discussing the size of my penis on this family oriented blog! Trying to embarrass me in front of my fans?

So after I dropped them off I....

"Hi, my name is Trish and I am an alcoholic. I dated Mad Cabbie few years ago, and I loved his 6' 3" frame but I laughed my ass off when he took off his clothes and I saw his..." 

Sorry to cut you off Trish, but we are out of time and I must end this post NOW.

When is the FBI going to start criminal investigation of councilman Harris Thomas Jr?


Please don't forget the homeless,


Mad Cabbie

THE HOT BLACK CHIC

Few nights ago a hot black chic got in to my cab and the first words that came out of her mouth was, "Do you like to snuggle after sex?" That was a very strange question to ask a person you just met. This girl was pretty, smoking body and smelled real good. I said to my dumb self, "Mad Cabbie, finally after twenty years of hacking some hot chic wanna fuck you and she wants to make sure if you like to snuggle after sex!" and I didn't know what it was but something hard in my pants shifted from left to right.

Generally cab drivers we are chronic bullshitters, every cab driver has stories about a fare that ends up in a room at the Mayflower with a hot blond, a blow job in front of some chic's driveway or being a boy toy to an old widowed millionaire. Maybe I am way behind in my game but those scenarios never come my way, okay just once! She had few extra pounds though, like three hundred extra pounds! But this time it's a real hottie.

"You are such a looser Mad Cabbie, you disgusting pig!"

Shut up you jackass, can I finish my story please?

I didn't know how to respond to her question, so I answered by asking her the same question that she threw at me about snuggling. Her story was that she just hooked up with this dude after attending the pathetic Washington Wizards basketball game. After they finished having sex the guy buried her under his arm at a point she couldn't breath, and when she begged him to stop, he got annoyed and angry because she didn't like his post-sex snuggle ritual. That's when she ran out of his apartment and jumped in my cab and wanted to know what my preference after sex was and that's when what ever shifted in my pants returned to it's original place.

I dropped her off at her high-rise apartment on Porter street and we said our good-byes. A few minutes later I picked up a Latino kitchen help who accidentally sliced his finger, and I had to drive his bleeding ass to George Washington Hospital ER. He was crying, moaning and holding his dangling finger that was wrapped with a white towel, and I was thinking about that hot black chic. 

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.