I was coming back from south-east cruising on Pennsylvania avenue in Capitol Hill when a tall white dude flagged me down. He looked half toasted and his breathing was out of the ordinary, like he just completed a marathon. I asked if was running and he said he was just nervous and scared! Scared? Scared of what?
He told me that he is going to tell his wife that he wants out of the marriage. He has been drinking for the last four hours so he can have the balls to face her when he do so. Mind you it's a little after one in the morning and this clown is going to wake up his poor wife and ask her for a divorce. At the same time I was tuned in to "coast to coast am " on the radio. For those of you who are not familiar with "coast to coast am", it's a radio show that attracts night-shift retards like myself and talks about alien abductions, UFO, secret society, shadow government and shit like that. And last night they had a guest talking about how to learn to talk to dead people if you buy his book, and I was listening attentively.
This dude wouldn't leave me alone, he talked about how he is in love with another chic at his work and can not live without her because they are a match made in heaven. He talked about his wife being pain in the ass and that she is not giving up the pussy as frequently as he liked, as a matter of fact according to his iphone app, in 2010 they fucked only fourteen times!
He wanted my opinion and usually I would say "Are you fucking crazy? you dumb ass! You don't wake your wife up one in the morning and..." but last night I was like "You go boy! Wake that bitch up and...", just to make our conversation short so that I can carry on listening to the radio about the latest technique on how to talk to dead people.
Finally I dropped him off around 28th and Cathedral! He admired my superior advice that I have given him and paid me handsomely. This fair would buy me the book that they have advertised on the radio show, and soon Mad Cabbie will be talking to all kind of dead motherfuckers on the other side!
Please don't forget the homeless,
Mad Cabbie.
16 comments:
Mad, when I was in college a decade ago I used to listen to Art Bell on coast to coast am. I loved it, Art used to put on any creep on the radio....Great blog Mad Cabbie, I take cabs all the time in DC and I hope I will run in to you one of these nights.
Stay safe, Matt.
For some men, any one would look like a match made in heaven at one in the morning after being wasted. It is too sad that marriage is taken so lightly in the West. Where I came from marriage is valued much much more and once you make your vows you stick to them that the divorce rate is so low. I wish him good luck with his soul mate his chances of success are 25%. I also wish the wife good luck, who knows her soul mate could be working with her too.
:(
Moi
Mad, I agree with Matt! Art Bell was the King of overnight radio. I remember those Y2K Armageddon scenario shows, those were classics!
Moi, the reason the divorce rate is very low back home is because women, especially our parents generation didn't work and have no means to support themselves financially if they leave the marriage. Unfortunately they take the verbal and physical abuse through out the marriage. I am pretty sure it was the same in America few decades ago when women weren't visible in the work force. But I do agree with you that people do take their marriage vows more seriously!
Enquqn lebrhane lidetu aderesesh!
Diamond 888
Matt, there is something creepy about Art Bell and I like that. George Noorey is good but nothing like Mr Bell, too bad he retired!
Moi, I have attended couple of Ethiopian weedings and if the priests did the stuff they do with crown and everything, I wouldn't take my marriage lightly either.
#888, you're Ethiopian? I thought you were a local brother or something! YES I do remember those Y2K shows man! That's why I didn't party new years's eve in 1999, I was hiding in my basement surounded by canned food.
Diamond 888,
Enkwan Abro Aderesen!
I too agree that there were some abuses, verbal and physical back home but there were also traditional ways of protecting the weak. Let us not forget the "Shimagiles" elders who would come at a heart beat to smooth out problems in marriages. The other most important thing is respect, there is almost no respect in Western house holds for the man who is the head of the house hold, and that is very important in a marriage. The women here tend to try to be forceful, the art of compromise and wisdom is lost. I know a lot of marriages in Ethiopia where the little, quiet, timid women run the show unbeknownst to the macho men who think they are doing it all because the women defer to the men on things that are important to the men.
Dehina wal Yagerie Sew,
Moi
Mad,
Not all Ethiopians get married in Church. Some people do choose to have a secular ceremony. I for one had a small secular wedding because I got married two years after my father died and did not want a huge celebration. I believe it is the attitude that one has coming into a marriage that counts. I thought and still do it is for keeps as do lots of people back home. We all can learn something from eachother, the US has so many good things going for it but I think Americans could learn a thing or two about marriage from Africans.
This is just my two cents. I hope I do not sound patronizing, I apologize before hand if I any one finds this so.
Moi
African negros usually have three wives they can't afford. The Negro male speices is not capable of taking care of it's own cubs!
Moi I don't think we can learn anything from africa.
Blue Eyes.
Blue eyes, I really feel sorry for you.
Diamond 888
Blue Eyes didn't you tell me once that your mother is also your sister as well! Does that mean your dad is also your grandfather? These trailer soap operas always confuses me!
Hey mad,
It is not looking good for the 94 posts left for the year if you go at this pace. :(
Ok, let us do the Math:
If you want to do 100 posts for the year, you need to turn out 8.33... posts per month, you already have 6 for January and you could go over 8.33.. by the month's end by posting 3 more posts within the next 11.42 days. :)
Here is a break down of what you could to get to a hundred posts:
*During the months that have 31 days, you should post every 3.72 days.
*During the months that have 30 days you should post every 3.6 days.
*And on February you should post every 3.36 days to get your 8.333 posts per month bringing the total to 100.
*Or you could break it down by days altogether and post every 3.65 days.
Sorry mad I just couldn't resist. I am a math buff and I love doing these kind of things to friends. But kidding aside we are looking forward to the posts that are to come.
Moi
Moi, trust me I will get it done! I know I am going to go well over a 100 posts. If I do you will owe me a kitfo! Moi, the way you broke it down mathematically, I can tell that your house is very neat and well organized. I will post one tomorrow about a strange question I was asked by a passenger.
You've got yourself a deal Mad!
Moi
Isn't it odd that when a woman wont fuck her husband it is all down to a personal problem on HER part? Like she's got some character flaw.
Sometimes it IS the female, and for no reason that the male can understand. Many years back, I was in a long term relationship where she cut me off for no reason that I could figure out. I did everything that I had always done to be the good boyfriend: brought her gifts, took her out, treated her with kindness, tried to communicate to find out what was the problem. And NO, I did not suddenly gain thirty kilos; while I have always been fat, I did not add more kilos during that relationship; I was as fat the day that I left her as the day that I met her.
I finally had to tell her that if she was not going to try to get to the source of the problem and do something about it, I was going to have to look out for myself which meant that I was going to walk, as I am no cheater. She refused to do anything, so walk I did.
Still, I am aware that in many cases, it is his fault. He ignores her and stays out half the night with his buddies, comes home blottoed and expects, as was it Bette Middler or Janis Joplin who said it?; open arms and open legs. He never brings the surprises that he did when the relationship started or he figures that since he has one locked up, he can let himself go and he does gain thirty kilos and stops bathing on a regular basis.
Then there are those guys like the one in the Richard Prior routine where he tells about the guy who comes home and bangs on every wall and door in the place and says in a loud voice 'Give UP the POO-see!, give UP the POO-see'. I AIN'T even a girl and I would buckle up and double lock my chastity belt if some guy treated me like that.
LOL, excellent if you are lying
I mean excellent Post Mad, I didnt know the comments would go so in depth.
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