Wednesday, September 17, 2008


Last night while I was driving this half tipsy dude to his home around the Penn-Quarter, he told me something that raised my eyebrows. He works for one of the major news outlets and he mentioned that couple of his colleagues were dispatched to LA to talk to some dude who went to the University of Idaho with Sara Palin in the 80's. There are some new rumors that the California man who took those sexy nude shots of Sara Palin may have those old polaroid pictures.

Is he bull-shitting me or telling me a true story? I don't know! All I know is I am sitting by my computer waiting for those nude pics to surface. I don't know about you King, but my pants are way down to my ankles in case I need to take some immediate action. Vice President of the United States in a Playboy centerfold! That's hot!

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

Sunday, September 14, 2008


"My girlfriend is not feeling well, can you please take us to the Quebec Apartments in Cleveland Park? I am going to drop her off, wait for me for five minutes and bring me back here to Adams Morgan!"

This dude was from Philadelphia visiting his girlfriend that lives in DC. The girlfriend had way too many to drinks and started to get out of control at the club so her friends suggested that he should take her home. The chic had a nice tall body, probably 6 feet tall but he is much shorter than her and it was a very funny scene when he was trying to drag her in the cab.

Once they got in the cab she passed out and he started yapping about Philly this! and Philly that! I really wanted to bitch slap his ass back to Philadelphia. He also wanted to smoke some weed in my cab but when I politely explained to him that I have an iron pipe under my seat that I use for disorderly passengers he changed his mind quick. We arrived at the Quebec South Apartments few minutes later and as soon as he dragged her out the cab she was on all fours puking like shit all over the grassy area.
I took a quick snap but the quality is poor, the boyfriend is the one carrying her bag looking down while she was spraying the driveway.

After a few minutes of uncontrolled purging, he helped her walk upstairs, put her drunk ass to bed, came back and jumped in my cab for a trip back to Adams Morgan.

"This is a blessing in disguise my man! I am glad her ass is in the bed right now!" he said, when I asked him why he left her alone at the apartment. "One of my girlfriend's co-worker was grabbing my Italian dick on the dance floor dude! She was teasing me all night! I told her that I would be back and I am going to hit that ass tonite bro!" According to him he is not worried about his girlfriend finding out that he nailed her drunk colleague.

For you folks that live at the Quebec South, watch your step when you come out in the morning. The driveway in front of the lobby could be a little slippery, thanks to one of your neighbors. I wanted to get back and take a picture of her vomit for my dear readers but I got real busy for the rest of the night.

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

Saturday, September 13, 2008


Thank you for your interests in renting the apartment and no more emails please, because it is not available anymore. And thanks to this blog and one of my fans in Capitol Hill, I found a very good tenant without spending any cash for ads. Sorry Washington Post! I didn't know that you can sell shit online! You think I discovered something?

Now I can get back to my real job, DRIVING A CAB!!!

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

Sunday, September 07, 2008


After a couple of nights in New York and a week in Ocean City, I got back last Sunday so I can beat the Labor Day traffic. I spent another week here local just hanging out and working on my apartment in DC. BTW If anyone out there who is interested in renting a spacey one bedroom apartment four blocks from the Dupont metro, it will be available 10/1/08. It has a big ass bedroom that you can pull off a foursome without getting crowded, huge closets where you could hide your boyfriends when your hubby walks in and one assigned parking space! $1800+ utilities or $1650+ utilities without the parking space ($25 application fee and $1800 security deposit). If interested email me at

The first night after break was action less until I picked up this drunk guy with attitude in his fifties in front of the Camelot Club .

GUY: I am already pissed off so don't piss me off!
ME: I won't, where're we going tonight?
GUY: Wheaton, Maryland.
ME: Where in Wheaton?
Guy: There is only one Wheaton!

I started to get annoyed because Wheaton has to be at least ten square miles and this guy was being a smart ass by telling me there is only one Wheaton.

ME: If you are not willing to tell me exactly where you're going I don't think I can help you my friend!
GUY: You better start driving! You are pissing me off and I am not your friend!!
ME: Sir this ride is over I need you to get out of the cab...
GUY: I am not getting out of this cab! Take me to Connecticut and Randolph in Wheaton, that's where I am going! Are you fucking happy now?

The motherfucker was drunk and I wasn't in the mood to deal with his ass on the first night back so I tried to get out of it by asking the fare money upfront. It didn't work, I asked for $30 and he handed me that amount.

The ride was dead silent, he was making all kind of movement in the backseat and he really made me cautious and extra alert. I pulled out my sorry ass iron pipe from underneath my seat and placed it on the front passenger seat for a potential combat action. I asked if he was alright but he ignored me and started mumbling to himself. Sometimes I feel like wearing a football helmet for protection while driving in this kind of tricky situation.

When we got to his hood the fare was $21.25 and I was very quick to put the car on gear to free both of my hands, if he tried any stupid ass move I was ready to deliver some nice ass whopping. While I was counting some cash to give him his change, he interrupted me by saying "Don't worry about the change, here is another $10 and thanks for the ride man!" and he exited the cab without any drama.

I wasted all that energy on thinking how to defend myself and shit but he ended up tipping me almost 100% instead. I tell you, cab driving could be a funny ass business sometimes you know! So I put back that old rusty sorry ass iron pipe where it belonged. Under my seat!

"What's up with that Micky Mouse iron pipe shit! You better start packing heat like those Jamaican drivers Mad!"

What ever dude and please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

Friday, September 05, 2008


"Wait a minute here Senator! It says here that I have to change your diapers too?"

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie