Wednesday, January 03, 2007

PAT ROBERTSON IS GOING TO HAVE A BABY

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. - In what has become an annual tradition of prognostications, religious broadcaster Pat Robertson said Tuesday God has told him that a terrorist attack on the United States would result in "mass killing" late in 2007.

"I'm not necessarily saying it's going to be nuclear," he said during his news-and-talk television show "The 700 Club" on the Christian Broadcasting Network. "The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that."

Robertson said God told him during a recent prayer retreat that major cities and possibly millions of people will be affected by the attack, which should take place sometime after September.

Robertson said God also told him that the U.S. only feigns friendship with Israel and that U.S. policies are pushing Israel toward "national suicide."

Robertson suggested in January 2006 that God punished then-Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon with a stroke for ceding Israeli-controlled land to the Palestinians.


Do you believe this jackass? But you know what? God told me while I had a recent visit to a lap dance in a Las Vegas bar, that Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson will have hot gay sex and Pat will carry Jerry's' baby in 2007! How do you like them apples?

Did I say Happy New Year?

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are sick Mad!

Welcome back.

Tina

june in florida said...

I am more inclined to believe your revelation during the lap dance than the revs during a retreat. We need to get back to the real old time religeon, peyote, fasting and cleansing, much healthier results. Sounds like you had fun Mad. How is our Pastor and his dad doing?

MJ06 said...

Hey mad happy new year

Claire said...

Cabbie, you are so funny!
And so right.

I don't like tele-evangelists, period. They prey on the frail and poor who are looking for guidance with real life crises and who send in their last dollars. These guys are deluded that they somehow have powers, or a direct line to God. Thanks for revealing Pat Robertson & Co. for what they really are, f-cked up and thus very, very pregnant.

Anonymous said...

I hope he will carry twins!

Anonymous said...

Mad, what happnened at that Vegas trip? or is it going to stay in Vegas?

OFFICER L

Anonymous said...

Mad, I am going to sue your ass and take over that little condo of yours in Dupont! Jerry Falwell is not the father of my child, It's Bill O'Reilly!!!

Pat Robertson.

Xtreme English said...

mad cabbie, you're the best! but pity the poor baby from those two!! gee whiz.

Twoste said...

Everything Pat Robertson says and predicts is true.
God is love.

Elizabeth said...

Jackass he is indeed!

Hassan said...

Mad, radicalism is destroying our civilization, thanks to Osama Binladin, Pat Robertson and alike!

Hassan

Turner Mitteron said...

Ha Ha!
What a great post.
Isn't it great to see a religious gentleman like Pat Robertson following in Jesus footsteps in his own humble way.
It reminds me of "It's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter Heaven"
The only question now is, is Pat a rich man or a camel??

Anonymous said...

Pat, Jerry's bitch? What an ugly couple!

Leo