I had my share of cry babies in the back seat of my taxi cab, almost all women. I would have said all women, but today, this passenger changed the statistics.
I picked up this guy in Cleveland park, around Connecticut and Porter, tall and well built clean cut WASP type in his late twenties. "Old executive building!" he barked out while he was getting into the car, he flipped out his cell phone, speed dialed and then the drama started, I turned the volume down to the stupid NPR I listen to every morning to look intelligent and I started enjoying the one sided phone conversation speeding down Connecticut avenue towards the White House.
".....Baby! Why are you doing this to me....Megan, you know I love you.....Ok I am an asshloe....I moved to fucking DC for you and this is the shit I get back from you?.....Why are you torturing me Megan? Why?...Why?.....Hello! Hello! Hello...fucking bitch she hang up on me."
After about ten redials Megan wasn't responding and Oh my lord! The crying, the moaning and tears begun and no end in site, and I didn't know what to say to this freak, if this was one of my friends I would have bitch slapped him and brought him back to his senses, I can't stand when dudes cry on my ass, I kept zig zagging in and out of traffic driving like as if I am in Daytona 500 just to get rid off Mr. Romeo. The crying was getting louder and louder and finally with a concerned voice I said " take it easy man , I am pretty sure everything is going to work out between you two."
Man that was the wrong thing to say on my part, the tears started flooding, the moaning and he kept saying " Owowowowow...oooooooh...This is the beginning of the end, I fucked it up man! I can't survive without Megan, oh God what the fuck have I done?..owowowow, it hurts man! It hurts man.... How much I owe sir?"
We pulled up by the old executive office near the white house, he wiped his tearful eyes and said " We made great time by the way, I can make the speech writers meeting on time and I am sorry to bore you to death, I am just an emotional person!" He handed me $15 for $12 fare and he ran towards the lobby flashing his ID to the secret service police and he faded away.
Ladies and gentlemen, NOW I am worried about America! I might start crying myself.