As a veteran cab driver whenever I have someone who is completely drunk and out of it in my cab I make sure I get the complete address from the passenger before I even move or there won't be a ride at all. I go as far as checking the address on the driver's license if I think they are going to pass out as soon as they enter the cab. That's what happened last night when this toasted dude in his 40's was escorted by couple of bartenders and thrown in my backseat in front of Washington harbor in Georgetown.
The guy was so fucked up he couldn't even put two sentences together but I managed to copy his address from his driver's license and started to head north towards Deerwood in Montgomery county Maryland. My man was knocked out in the backseat and when we arrived at his place after about thirty minutes ride there was no sign of life at all in fact he started snoring so I had to carry him over my shoulder and started banging on the door of this pricey house of his. There was light on couple of the rooms upstairs to suggest that his wife or kids were still up and few seconds later couple of dogs started to bark, lights came on and a fairly good looking middle aged blond opened the door and that's when all hell broke loose.
She was screaming "Take this idiot where you picked him up from! That drunk you have on your shoulder is my ex husband and he doesn't live here anymore! Go away before I call the cops!" and the fucken dogs won't stop barking and on top of that my legs were starting to get weak, the guy weighed at least 170lbs and a drunk 170lbs is much heavier than what you would think.
When the tone of his wife got angrier and louder I started to turn around and walk towards my car and that's when the dogs started chasing my ass and I started running with the motherfucker on my shoulder while dragging one of the dogs across the driveway who got of hold of my army boots with his teeth until he let go when I kicked him in the balls or something. I managed to throw the guy in the back of my cab and ran for the front seat and I got out of that neighborhood packing 90mph and that's when the jackass woke up confused and started to ask me if I was kidnapping him.
To make a long story short I managed to get his current address from him which was three minutes away and five blocks from the pick up point in Georgetown which was at 31st and O streets instead of the 52 mile round trip and an hour and half drama I went through. When he realized what happened he was apologetic and paid me the full fare of the trip without arguing after we stopped by an ATM machine and it turned out to be the most expensive and longest five block trip ever and I am not complaining at all besides this aching shoulder and hopefully I will be fine in a couple of days.
But why would he still use his ex wife's address on the driver's license?
Please don't forget the homeless,