Tuesday, August 28, 2007

THE LAST RUN

Last night I had to drive my friend Ms T aka the one legged hooker to one of her client’s residence in Potomac, Maryland around Democracy and Falls roads. The way it works is, depending on the period of time they require her services either I wait for her few blocks away or I just drive back to town hustle a few fares and I will go back and pick her up and go to the next stop and believe me this chick is busy making shit load of cash.

This client in Potomac is one freak motherfucker, he doesn’t want her with her prosthetic leg so she has to remove her fake leg and use her crutches to help her walk, I think he gets off on watching her hopping with one leg or something. So whenever I drop her off at this jerk’s place I put her pretty amazingly real looking expensive prosthetic leg in my trunk and go on my business back to Washington, DC.

When I got back to the city it was around three in the morning, I took River road hang left on Willard and a right on Wisconsin Avenue towards Friendship Heights and when I came to the traffic light on Western avenue I saw some dude waving at me to my left so I made that turn and pulled over for him.

“I am glad you came by because I was getting worried and can you please pull over to the driveway of the Embassy Suites Hotel please? my wife and kids are in the lobby waiting and we want to go to National Airport! Thank you sir!”

Usually I am not too crazy about driving long trips to the airport and that’s one of the reasons why I drive at night, driving to the airport especially to Dulles and BWI are 45 minutes trips and that’s too long, it’s like getting married to the passengers and usually business folks who do these kind of trips are boring people who take themselves too seriously, I prefer my loud night passengers who throw up on me once in a while.

So as soon I pulled up in front of the hotel the kids ran towards my cab with their little bags when they saw their dad with me and the wife followed with one of the suitcases towards the trunk. When I popped the trunk I heard one of the girls screaming her lungs out as soon as she saw that prosthetic leg sitting in my trunk, at first I didn’t know what was going on until the dad yelled “what the hell is that?”

I just completely forgot about the pale white fake leg in the trunk! I am not used to putting shit in my trunk because I barely drive people to the airports and never expected to open my trunk and who the fuck wants to go to National Airport at three in the fucking morning? So don’t blame me for scaring the shit of those little girls! So while in route to the airport I just told them the leg belongs to my girlfriend and calmed them down a little bit but I can see the mother in my rear view mirror glued to her kids in horror and the dad giving me that strange look. I wonder what he was thinking? He was probably asking himself and wondering…

“I thought these niggers were in to fat white chicks? And now they are going to take away our one legged white chicks from us? I had it with these brothaaazzz, it’s time to send them back to Africa!”

And that’s exactly what I am doing, going back to Africa! I picked up my visa from the Ethiopian embassy today and yours truly will be flying out to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia tomorrow and will be on vacation until the 19th of September.

I will see you when I get back and I love you all.

And always please don’t forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

18 comments:

june in florida said...

Have a great time Mad and please PICTURES, lots of them.Be safe and please be politically correct. Don't start another war, maybe you could enlist some allies, lord knows we could use some.

Lugosi said...

You should have said, "Well, that's what happens when a passenger doesn't have enough money."

Claire said...

Love you Cabbie,
Be safe and have an awesome time. Waiting for your return!--Starting now. Oh, and those bratty kids weren't that scared, they were just acting. Get real, I'd tell them. That belongs to Ms. Heather Mills, the ex-Mrs. Paul McCartney and no other. =)

Peggy said...

but but but WAIT! Did Ms T get her leg back? Did the Family to Dulles tip well?

Have a kick ass time!

Xtreme English said...

bon voyage, cher mad cabbie!! we await your return. (will he bring back a wife? a girlfriend? another leg??)

Anonymous said...

Have a good trip MC,

Guys, I will keep him in check and make sure he behaves well while over there. I will be there myself this weekend.....I am sure he will come back with lots of stories...


ciaoo, Yared

Anonymous said...

dude ... i forgot about the homeless,

Trish said...

Love you Mad, Come back home safe!

Anonymous said...

Mad Cabbie, you are my hero! You don't know how many times I want out of the cab business but you kept me going and taught me how to appreciate my job and make more money!

God bless you.

Teferi from DC

John said...

Bon voyage. and safe back.

Eryn said...

Love ya Mad. Take care!

gpliving said...

It's those 6am flights out of National that cause people to hail cabs at 3-4 in the morning..

A 6am flight sounds great, until you factor in transportation, airport security, and just waking up & getting ready (if you even went to sleep).

LaPopessa said...

Not at all MC, they were thinking, "oh my God, this man kills women, cuts off their legs, covers them in plastic and keeps them in the trunk, are we next?

Uncle Keith said...

You could tell them you bought it off EBay from Paul McCartney's Ex-wife. Have fun in the Old Country!

Xtreme English said...

It's 9/11/07, and i wish you a very happy new year over there in ethiopia. can't wait till you get back!!!

peggy's mom

J-Funk said...

I hope you have a great trip Mad and I hope you bring back good stories!!

Claire said...

Hi Cabbie, It's Sep 19 and if you're home by now as promised, you are probably exhausted, excited, exhilarated and asleep. I would like to know if the people of Ethiopia are beautiful as you had expected. Did you find a beautiful girlfriend or wife? What souvenirs did you bring back if any? Did you change the way you dress at all? Did you have fun? Did you see any rain? It was supposed to have flooded in parts of Africa. Hope you're OK.
Peace and hugs,
Claire

Peggy said...

OK, I've waited long enough!

If you don't make with the blogs about Ethiopia, I'm going to come over there and bitch slap you right back to the Dark Contintent.