Friday, October 19, 2007

THE BACKSEAT SEX

For some of you folks out there fucking in a back seat of a taxicab after a night out and few drinks is a thrilling adventure that you can talk about the next morning at the office water fountain. Unless you are an exhibitionist or a freak who’s trying to torture your cab driver by making him helplessly horny, getting laid in a backseat of a car is not a comfortable mission at all, in fact it hurts all the joints unless it’s a roomy limo or van otherwise you might get almost killed like Pastor Joe.

Few years ago I used to have a regular passenger and let’s call her Julie. Julie was a thirty something cute face big blond and when I say big I am talking about 5’ 11” and 280lb or more heavyweight and I am a skinny ass 5’ 9” a buck fifty, when you see me walking next to Mad Cabbie I look like a fucken starving midget. After driving her a few weeks late at night from the law firm she worked in downtown DC to her home in east Silver Spring our conversation grew more intense and personal.. She was a married woman who’s having problems with her husband who calls her “fat” all the time. She told me she ballooned from 155 lbs to where she was after having three kids and her weight got out control and the husband didn’t want to touch her at all. She got emotionally attached because I listened and I wanted to get in to her extra large sized pants! You hate me? Fuck you! What am I supposed to do? I was a desperate horny cab driver who wasn’t getting any.

To make a long story short, one night we were parked at a parking lot of a church on Wayne avenue in Silver Spring and started to make out as usual but this time we were both in the back seat and that was the night for the Pastor to make his move and it worked. Clothing were coming off and I was on top of her struggling to…you know what right? The next thing I know I slipped and fell on the floor between the front and the backseat and she fell on top of me and got stuck, she was struggling to pull herself off me and I was fighting for my life trying to push her away from me. This went on for a good one minute and it felt like a long fucken year and I thought I was going to die of brain damage.

That was my last attempt of a backseat booty and I started to take her to some cheap ass Silver Spring Motel on Georgia avenue, I think it’s a Montgomery College building now that motel doesn’t exists anymore. Even back in the days in high school when I dated my ex-wife who was skinny we did it quite a few times in my back seat and never was good for me and didn’t like it at all.

But whenever you freaks start to do the nasty in my cab, I see dollar signs and I demand at least $40 up front and 99% of the time guys don’t care whenever pussy is on the line, they are happy to cough up that extra $40.

Take care,

Pastor Joe.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

This was hysterical.. Thanks for brightening up my Friday.

Andrew said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
John said...

Pastor this guy is like rash he is everywhere.
How is Mad?
What happened?
Send him our love.

Peggy said...

It is much easier for the young and slim. Sex in cars is SO overrated, but sometimes there is no other choice. It has to happen.

PLEASE let us know how Mad is. If that's some big secret, then just pass on my good wishes.

Lugosi said...

Nothing personal against you, Pastor Joe, but how's Mad?

Lugosi said...

By the way, I checked out that Hailcab site. Basically it's nothing more than a dispatch system. Customers have to enter test into their cellphones (addresses, destinations). If they're in such a hurry that they can't waste time hailing a cab, why on Earth would they have time to be entering text on their phones?

One of the "benefits" they list for cabdrivers is that we'll burn less fuel running around empty. Then they mention the not-so-minor detail that it costs $99 per month per cab. Well, unless we end up saving more than $3.30 each and every day in gas, that means the system is not worth it.

Eryn said...

PJ, I'm with everyone else; love your stories, but how is Mad?

Anonymous said...

What's going on Pastor we heard Mad is back in the hospital again?

Come on dude say something!

Yellow 47!

june in florida said...

Pastor please, how is Mad doing?

Roy, Dublin Taxi Driver said...

Sex in the back seat, I don't mind it apart from when it gets all squelchy

Anonymous said...

The last time I did it in a car, it was in a big jeep cherokee, which wasn't too bad.

Give Mad our best.

Xtreme English said...

hey, i had sex in a car once...the front passenger seat of a TR3! Try THAT, punks!

bozoette said...

I had sex once in a spool wagon, on top of a rolled up circus tent. Oh, and my van, but there was a bed in the back.
But really, Pastor Joe, in a church parking lot? Was it St. Mike's? Just curious...

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Anonymous said...

i also drove cab in Alberta and it's true most of the time girls and boys at the back seat makes us too horny and we cab driver nothing to ends up but with blow job from cheap hookers for $20, but i just want to share an incident which i can not forget when an horny girl gave me a best BJ, instead of fare, and that was awsome bcs she was also so horny and she liked it a lot,because as she told me i have one of biggest cock..and also tast so good, now she is my regular customer and she like to to it once or twice a week...........i think it is a good way to pay a cab driver and they also humans and they want to do same things some time which they watch all the time @ back seatas.

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