FREDDYBEACH CABBY

Mike aka "Freddybeach cabby" is a fellow cabbie and a blogger from south of the border, New Brunswick Canada.

"Mad! what fucken planet are you from? Jesus! we know that Americans are dumb asses when it comes to geography but are you really that retarded to know that Canada is north of the boarder?"

Sorry Mike, I started out in DC public school systems and most of our teachers were on crack at the time I was learning about Canada and I hope our new mayor elect Mr Fenty will take over the schools and fix it. Let the record show that I figured out that Canada is north of the United States.

Mike looks like a guy that can kick your ass at any given moment, look at that scary picture of his, but this dude got a strong and big heart and people like him inspire me and keep me going. You think you have a problem? How about your teen age daughter getting killed by a drunk driver for a starter? Yes, Mike lost his daughter couple a years ago because some motherfucker decided to get loaded and drive. This kind of horrible tragedy has to be any parents worst nightmare, it's not something that you could let go for the rest of your life. Mike's doctor suggested to him that he writes a daily journal about his day to day life to help him cope with the loss of his daughter and for the past year and a half he has been posting interesting stories and I have read all of them and whenever you have the time I suggest you check it out.

And this year Freddybeach Cabby is up for the 2006 Canadian Blog Awards and he is nominated for the best local blog category, the vote ends tomorrow and please VOTE for him and yes Americans are allowed to vote and yes your vote will be counted unlike Florida and Ohio. I have seen all kind of shit while driving my cab and nothing surprises me any more but one of Mike's post
"Too Late For That" really disturbed me and I suggest you read it.

Mike keep the good stuff coming and you are my hero sir and stay strong, God bless you and your family and good luck at the awards, get your tuxedo ready!

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie

KINKINESS GONE WRONG

When I picked up this dude in his forties in front of an office building in Chinatown at two in the morning I knew exactly where he has been. The old building has a few offices of shady injury lawyers, mom and pop accounting firms, so called Import export companies with one phone line, a fax and a soda machine, you know shit like that, but everything closes that time in the morning with exception of suite 207.

Suite 207 is occupied with few dominatrix chicks and transvestites we know who keeps us busy all night from time to time, in fact I have a few of them on my speed dial in case my stressful passengers need some relaxing time by getting some good time whipping. So this dude with suite and tie gets in to my cab and tells me he wants to go to Dorset avenue in Chevy Chase but wants to make a stop by the 24hrs CVS drug store at DuPont Circle. He had a black eye and a small cut on his upper lip and he was very uncomfortable and nervous. For a moment I thought maybe the dominatrix chicks didn't over dominate him, what if it was a robbery attempt or something? So a concerned citizen that I am, I asked.

ME: What the fuck happened to you man?
HIM: Some motherfucker with a gun tried to rob me and I had to fight and at some point we fell on the ground, I guess that's when I hurt myself...
ME: That wasn't smart dude, but I am glad that you are okay, Did you call the cops?
HIM: Thanks man I just want to stop at that CVS to pick up stuff and go home, fuck the cops they're not going to do shit! Just take me home!

He didn't feel like talking too much because he was lying to me and the minute he opened his mouth I knew he was bullshitting me. In DC if you fight an armed thug you are pretty much a dead meat, they will smoke your ass even if you don't fight them and on top of that I checked out his suit when he was walking to the CVS and not a single dirt or wrinkle, I guess it was a clean fight uh? Something definitely went wrong at suite 207 because I pick up some fine gentlemen all the time from there but never with a noticeable wound!

But you know what? If I visited a dominatrix and she kicks the shit out of me and somehow gave me a black eye, would I share the story with some stupid ass cab driver? hell no! I think I would be embarrassed just to admit that I am paying some chick to slap me around. I guess I am not a powerful white man, they say usually white men with money and power fit the description of men who pay a frequent visit to these macho chics. I can testify for that fact because when I dropped him off it was in front of a house on Dorset avenue could easily cost in the millions and I hope he didn't wake his wife up when he sneaked in the bedroom.

One of these days Mad Cabbie will hook up with a dominatrix and I don't want some 5'2" 100lbs skinny white chic just playing the part, I want some 6'4" 300lbs sista who can rough me up and kick my ass! I hope my dad is not reading this shit.

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

LET'S BE RESPONSIBLE

I hope everyone had a nice thanksgiving and made time to think and appreciate what you have because I know I did. Both my brothers were here in town and both of my sisters live here locally so everyone with their spouses and kids gathered at the dinner table at my parents house and it was wonderful. The highlight of the weekend was yesterday, our old man and his three sons went to the redskins game at FedEx Field and we had a great time and it reminded me of the good old days and on top of that the skins managed to pull a win so that was a plus. I was driving my brother and his family to the airport this morning and he started talking about Redskin's playoff scenario! what a retard he is. I still stand by my earlier prediction they are going to be a 6-10 team this year.

For those of us who drive cab at night, It's going to be busy until new year's eve because people are out partying a lot and for some of you irresponsible dumb asses who are thinking about getting behind the wheel after few cocktails, it's not worth it, a cab ride might look expensive at the time but it's not. Don't let me pick your ass up from the area police stations after few hours in jail, and I don't want hear that old story "I only had two beers!" bullshit, everyone and their mother tells me that garbage and I don't believe those sorry ass sad stories, so when you go out make sure you tag in a cab fare in your budget and you don't need to worry about killing someone or yourself for that matter. But unfortunately I might have some stories for you soon about a fare I am going to pick up from one of the police stations because some moron chose to drive shit faced.

Please don't drink and drive, and don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, I am going to be off the next ten days and chill so Mad Cabbie be careful out there at night because your babysitter is not going to be there when you cry out for mommy! I hope you'll take care of all of my businesses with out fucking up bitch!

I am going back to cave in at the trailers with my people in Bel Air but today I am going hunting, that's what we rednecks do, we hunt our own turkeys but if no luck I will settle for a bloody deer steak for Thanksgiving.

Peace,

Pastor Joe.

TIC TIC TIC TIC TIC...

Tic tic tic...Yeah that's right, if you are riding in one of the 8,000 taxi cabs in Washington DC there is a good chance that you're running around in a back seat of a death trap. Thanks to Carol Schwartz, Motor Vehicle Department and the under achieving Government of the District of Columbia it's only a matter of time that someone is going to get killed because of those mechanically impossible to maintain old taxi cabs.

It used to be as long as you are legally licensed driver with a taxi permit you can operate a taxi business in the District of Columbia with out residential restriction for tags and registration, that means you can live in the outskirts of Washington DC like in Maryland and Virginia and still be able to register your cab in DC and make a living. Since last march the DMV started enforcing a law that require drivers to live in DC in order to obtain taxi registration and tags. That means drivers like my uncle who lives in Fort Washington Maryland and drove a cab in DC since 1956 can not replace his aging 1993 Crown Victoria with close to 400,000 miles with a 2006 Grand Marquis sitting in his driveway doing nothing just because he lives 5 miles outside the city limit. Does it make any sense? of course not! I wrote about this issue last July begging Council woman at large Carol Schwartz to resolve this issue after I read her quote saying:

"Schwartz said her staff is researching how other jurisdictions handle the issue, and a resolution is expected this fall."

Now winter is just around the corner and the rocket scientist at the District government are still studying this complex problem and they might need the help of NASA to solve this issue. You know what Carol, you are getting fat and lazy because you have been there too long and it's time for the resident of the District Of Columbia to stand up and raise their concern because this is some serious shit and be aware that there is a language in DC taxicab insurance agreement stating that a taxi SHOULD BE MECHANICALLY SAFE AND MAINTAINED. If you're riding in one of these cabs glued together with a duck tape because the owner can not register a newer cab in his or her name, I hope you don't get in to an accident due to mechanical malfunction of the cab because the insurance may refuse to pay for your medical bills and how do you maintain a vehicle which is not supposed to be on the road in the first place?

But I am optimistic because there is a new young sheriff in town, Mayor-elect Adrian Fenty and I hope he will clean house, and he started by appointing DC Police Commander Cathy L. Lanier a young 39 year old single mother with an impressive accomplishment to be the next DC police chief. I am tired of the business as usual bullshit in the DC government and it's time to clean up those unqualified paper pushers who can't put two sentences together if your life depended on it.

In the mean while make sure you say your prayers before you step in to a DC cab but in case you get in to an accident and the insurance doesn't want to cough up that $50,000 maximum, now you know who to sue because the driver doesn't have jack!

Please don't forget to help the homeless before you get in to a DC cab.

Mad Cabbie.

GUY TROUBLE?

I get quite a few emails from you fine Americans and most of them are from guys who want to know the best place to pick up chicks and some want to know the best bars, good restaurants, happening nightclubs and there are the unusual, like the couple who asked me to refer them to a swingers club in DC and which I responded to all of you with helpful tips. But the number one inquiry so far? "How can I meet the one legged hooker Mad Cabbie?" After the "THE HOOKER WITH ON LEG" post, you perverts topped the email count with TWENTY EIGHT different requests from as far as Australia for a close encounter with Ms T. Wow! I didn't know that chics with one leg are a hot commodity.

I tell you what! for you chics out there who can't get laid or having difficulties getting a guy? I think it's time to loose one of the legs ladies, and those qualified scary gentlemen will be in line fighting for your attention and I have a bunch of their email addresses for sale!

"Lugosi, don't be alarmed I am not going to sell yours! "

Please don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

P.S To the racist dude who keeps torturing me about staying away from a woman I have never met in my life, Why don't you ask her out yourself you dick less pussy? Scared? I figured out that you work together with her! One of these days if you notice a tall brotha in your office bitch slapping your ass, that will be yours truly Mad Cabbie!

Sorry I had to squeeze this in guys, this dude is getting annoyingly smarter and my response email to him keeps bouncing back so I would like him to read this as a warning! and if any of you computer geeks out there show me how to trace a fake email address please email me, will you? I am pretty much a retard when it comes to computers.

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE

By the way Mad that was a great post about saving and shit, and I want to tell your readers that I taught Mad Cabbie how to make money and he showed me how to save it and I thank you for that. The thing is people are so weak they won't follow your advice otherwise I will be out of business. I live off people's weakness, misery and bad habits. Yes that's right I capitalize on your nightmare, yes I said it and do you hate me already? fuck you! I am not out here to be your friend, if you want a teddy bear go read Mr Roger's oh I am sorry I meant to say Mad Cabbie's posts.

I love you weak people, you know who you are, a lobbyist on K street during the day and in the back seat of Pastor's cab at night wearing your jogging suit and a "Stanford" cap enjoying the ride en route to southwest to pick up your fix. You're a pussy to go by yourself and that's were uncle Joe come in the picture because those niggaz down there love me, they have to put down their AK-47s in order to hug me, and when I come back with your shit your wallet better have "Pastor Joe" written on it.

I love you miserable souls and you know who you are, a sexually frustrated confused middle aged lawyer with a bad mustache during the day and in the back seat of Pastor's cab with a young Filipino man on the way to the Marriott in Crystal City, you know I am going to charge you more than what you charge your clients because those Filipino boys are hard to find on P street. Hey Mr Hook, you better expand your biz in to young male hookers nigga, I hear there is going to be a huge potential market for the new congressmen because those young pages are not available anymore, until then Pastor is counting his money.

And some of you including Mad Cabbie have called me a racist on my last post because of my honest little observation, and that's not true because I am one of the few white card carrying member of NCAA so zip it Mad!

"It's NAACP you retard! you're too white, short and old to be in the NCAA Pastor Joe!"

Whatever Mad, you're not even real black you fucken malado, the brothas I know look like Wisely Snipes and I know more of them than you do nigga. Remember years ago when I used to live at 49th and East Capitol in south east with that black stripper? I used to be the only white man in that zip code and the black kids used to call me Santa you jackass and don't you call me racist anymore because I am still Santa for the ghetto kids.

Peace.

Pastor Joe.

SAVINGS TIPS TO CABBIES

I don't buy stuff because I can, I buy when I think I can afford to pay for it without getting in debt and with out compromising my savings principal and my life style. That's why I maintain zero debt (exception of the mortgages) and it is a very simple rule to follow unless you are a slave to commercials and in to "I need to have it NOW" mentality. I give a huge credit to my father for teaching me how to handle money at a young age and my background in mathematics to not allow myself to be raped by the banks.

Most cab drivers are poor because they lack the knowledge and principal on how to handle cash oriented business, it's not that they don't generate enough cash, as a matter of fact driving a cab if you are creative and consistent enough you can end up saving good amount of cash in a relatively short period of time.

To my fellow cabbies and who ever is in the business of getting paid cash everyday like waitress and bartenders and so on the following tips are Uncle Mad's manual on how poor cab drivers and alike can learn how to save too.

TIP #1 Get rid of your television set! No I am not joking, you can not afford to sit on your ass and watch some tubes while you have a money making machine parked outside. If you are tired get some sleep instead, if you're bored get in to an interesting hobby or do some volunteer work, you can meet some interesting people and get laid at the same time. I think TV is one of the reasons why Americans don't have enough savings, TV is for rich people!

TIP #2 Exercise! By sitting on your fat ass and driving all day your body is not getting enough exercise and you will be exposed to chronic diseases like high blood pressure, diabetics and heart problems and so on. You don't have to join a gym to be in shape unless you want to check out some ass while you work out like I do at Lifetime Fitness. The DC area have so many parks where you can run and you can buy some weight sets and other exercising tools and work out at home and save some on gym dues.

TIP #3 Eat Healthy! Stop living on fast foods and greasy shit, it will make you tired, lousy and unproductive besides loading up on your bad cholesterol. Brown bag healthy food and water of your own, it's much cheaper and you will do your heart a favor.

TIP #4 I know it's hard but stop bad habits like smoking, excessive drinking, playing the daily lottery or other forms of gambling but you need to STOP by all means.

TIP #5 Stick around with a meaningful relationship and if you are married don't fuck around. I see married cabbies do all kind of stupid shit that could cost them their marriage, money and health.

You have to be committed to the last 5 tips before you will be able go to the second phase to start save any money, unless you work on the fundamentals on your well being first and build a will power and a consistent positive routine the chances of you being a financially successful as a cab driver are mathematically very remote.


TIP #6 Don't overwork yourself! The human body is not a machine, it needs a decent amount of rest and sleeping time depending on what your needs are. If you could get away with it have a good 5 working days or 6 if not possible but NEVER work 7 days a week. You will do yourself harm in the long run and you could easily burn yourself out but make sure to be disciplined on your work ethic and Consistency because you are your own boss and there is no one to supervise you.

TIP #7 Educate yourself about the city of where you drive, read anything you could find about the city, be knowledgeable and informative. When I tell my passengers some shit about the city that they didn't know about even though they lived in Washington for years they get real impressed and that could be an extra dollar or two which could turn in to thousands of dollars in the long run. Cabs are expensive and people take cabs for the convenience so you have to sell a great service by being very informative and being an expert in what you do and this goes out to the waiting staff also, take the menu home and study it, understand the ingredients so in a nut shell, KNOW YOUR SHIT REAL WELL!!!

Tip #8 Be clean! Make sure you take a shower before you step in side your cab and wear fresh cloths and clean your cab everyday. Don't be surprised by not getting tipped because you and your cab smell like a fucken garbage and unfortunately I hear some horror stories from my passengers about some of you funky ass cab drivers so lets get with the program. Being neat and clean generates positive energy and will draw more cash to your pocket.

Tip #9 Think positively about what you do for a living and always you should feel like a million bucks. When you feel good you attract good people and never associate yourself with negative jackasses because they will drag you down with them and never bring your personal problems inside your cab with you.

Tip #10 When you are out there driving, relax and take your time, most cab drivers think that they are good because they are aggressive hustlers but that's not the case, usually those monsters are stressed out and live miserable lives and probably don't have jack in their savings. I see these cabbies cutting me off to be in front of me for a pick up but I don't let that bother me at all because I know by the end of the day I will come out ahead with pocketful of cash.

Tip #11 NEVER NEVER NEVER cheat your passengers, I know it happens in DC a lot because we have confusing zone system instead of meters so a lot of people are taken for a ride. If you think you are doing out of ordinary stuff for your customer like getting them a hooker or helping them buy crack let them know in advance how much your time is worth and that's what I do all night long. If you steal other people's money it will come back to bite you in some form or another and it is not the right thing to do. Would you teach your little girl or your little boy to steal? I thought so!

Tip #12 Don't charge for any shit that you can't pay off when the bill arrives! If you can't pay it off that means your ass can not afford it in the first place when you used the plastic. I only charge for my gasoline which is about $800-$1000/month depending on what Dick Cheney and the gang decide on how much they want for a gallon of gasoline but I do pay my bill by the end of the month. I use my card for accounting convenience and to keep my credit history going and as far as I am concerned the only loans you should carry if you have to are for your house and education period. DON'T let the banks sexually assault you! If you are in debt get rid of it first before you start saving.

Now if you can do all that it means that you are ready for the final phase and start executing tip # 13

Tip #13 Pay yourself first! Put away the at least the first $60 every day and then start from zero, convince yourself that $60 doesn't exist do not depend on that $60 for anything. Start to work on your living expenses and ER fund and all the garbage after you paid your ass. Make sure you go to a professional who can help you make a sound investment decisions with that $60/day. Don't try to be a hero and make your own investment shit, the odds are stacked up against you, you can always research and educate yourself about the markets but at the same time you have to let someone who is trained and does that for a living handle your business. If you manage to save your first $60 five days a week with a conservative 10% return on your investment, in ten years you will end up with almost a quarter of a million dollars!(look at the table year by year) imagine if you can put away $100/day or more?

Year Balance
0 $ 15,078.68
1 $ 31,736.30
2 $ 50,138.19
3 $ 70,466.99
4 $ 92,924.49
5 $ 117,733.58
6 $ 145,140.50
7 $ 175,417.29
8 $ 208,864.46
9 $ 245,813.97

Always remember it's not how much you make! it's how much of it you keep! and please if you think this is a helpful post, print it out and pass it on to the next cabbie you see or you ride with. I wrote this because I know a lot of cab drivers who drove for years and years but they have nothing to show for! and it is sad because few changes here and there could have changed the outcome of their future but you are never to late to save and start NOW!

Please don't forget the homeless.

Mad "Warren Buffet" Cabbie

THE MOST EXPENSIVE CAN OF BEER

Saturday night was pretty interesting, I had a bunch of American University students who ran out of beer and desperately in need of some more, but the problem? it was two in the morning, no beer store would open legally that late and they needed my help, and for me it was an easy task because I know the right person to call. GHOST!

Ghost grew up selling those tiny 6 oz liquors during late nights around night clubs and college campuses from his back pack and these days he sells everything in the world from his basement for late night deliveries. A case of bud-light could cost as high as $60 at two in the morning but people don't give a shit they just want some more to keep the party going so they well pay anything. When I called Ghost he was in no business mode at all...

ME: Yo Ghost what's up?
GHOST: Stop playin' around nigga what da fuck you want?
ME: I have some AU kids with me and they need a couple of cases of any beer!
GHOST: Not tonight Mad, I am trying to hit this booty! wrong timing bro!
ME: You don't have to bring it here, we'll come and pick it up.
GHOST: What the fuck! are you deaf? NOT tonight!
ME: Come on Ghost don't be a dick motherfucker! help them out! Just do it for me please?
GHOST: You got 30 minutes or less to get your ass here Mad, and you owe me one! and make sure you bring $100, I will have two cases of Light waiting for you.
ME: Thank you! Thank you! We are on our way!!!

I charged them $80 to go all way to Cheverly Maryland to get the couple of cases of beer and back to AU. By the time all said and done each single can of beer cost them about $3.75 but the good thing is they all chipped in and hopefully got more shit faced.

"Mad, isn't it illegal to be an accessory to selling contraband beer to minors?"

Oh zip it! I cleared it with our legal department Mr Tesfaye, an Ethiopian cabbie friend of ours who is an expert with the law! He watches Court TV all the time so I guess he knows a lot of shit about the law and I got the green light from him to help out those future leaders of America.

Excuse me I got to go now there is someone knocking on my door! I think it's some jackass from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms! What the fuck he wants from me?

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

LATELY

I am kind of used to watching black guys with fat white chics but lately there is a trend of hot Asian chics with fat white dudes! What's up with that?

Yo Mad! when am I going to see with a chubby white chic?

Peace.

Pastor Joe.

THE HOOKER WITH ONE LEG

A while back when I introduced my friend and co-blogger Pastor Joe, I mentioned on that post that if you wanted a one legged hooker and everything else the pastor can accommodate your needs. The one legged hooker sounds like fiction but she does exist and she is one of Pastor's regular riders at night. When ever she get calls from her clients who live outside the city she depends on Pastor for a ride.

T is very attractive twenty something year old blond from Tallahassee Florida, she could have have been any thing she wanted because I do think she is a smart girl as well but she started hooking when she was only seventeen and chose to stay in the business. Few years ago she got involved in a major car accident in North Carolina and unfortunately they had to amputate her left leg to save her life and after about couple of years of down time living with her sister in Norfolk Virginia she moved to DC reuniting with her old hooker friend from her days in Miami. But during all this difficult period she kept herself in a good shape. Even though the odds were against her to get back in to the prostitution game with her prosthetic leg, T managed to get back in action and is in high demand by some of you horny guys out there.

Prostitution is a huge business in DC, I am not talking about the crack whores you see at night on K street and L street near the Washington Post, I am talking about the well to do hookers who wear fur coats and drive Lexus SUV's and who make themselves available to men (married and single) with cash who are on top of the food chain and just interested in fulfilling their sexual fantasy. T is one of those well paid professional hookers, and she is so popular on some nights she keeps Pastor busy all night long running all over suburban DC.

Last night Pastor Joe wasn't feeling good as usual because of all of that unhealthy garbage he eats so he called me up and instructed me to pick up T and drive her to one of her client's house in McLean Virgina. This is the first time I met T personally even though I know her life history and she knows mine and for a chic walking around with one prosthetic leg I think she handles herself very well. We had a great conversation on the way to her client's place and being the nosy loud mouth that I am I asked her if she takes off her fake leg while doing her business, she said "absolutely yes!" and I think that's why she has a long list of clients because she is different and some men and couples have creative minds to be sexually turned on and have an amputee hooker to join in their bedroom fantasy.

I went back and picked her up from McLean after a few hours when she was done with her client and on our way back to the city crossing the chain bridge her cell phone rang and it was the concierge from one of the hotels in DC and their regular Japanese guest wanted some kinky action so we continued on Canal road towards the hotel. When we got to the hotel she paid me real well and we said good bye and now I know why she is on Pastor's VIP list.

Don't forget the homeless.

Mad Cabbie.

A DATE WITH A STAB WOUND

Cab drivers drivers get stabbed and beaten by their passengers more than what you think, it just doesn't make the news desk unless the driver is dead and they have something dramatic to talk about on the 10 O'clock nightly news. On the last post Mr Jackass Mad Cabbie made fun about the scars I have from being stabbed and shot not once, not twice, but from three different incidents while being robbed driving my cab and the third one I remember it like yesterday.

It was a beautiful breezy summer Saturday night of August of 1999, I was ready to go out on a first date with a girl I worked hard for to make the date happen. She was this chick from Minnesota who just moved to DC for her new job and I was so excited for our night out because I really liked this girl. The plan was to hook up at Mr Smith's in Georgetown at 9 pm and get something to eat and head on to Old town Alexandria to check out a local rock and roll band I like but my destiny changed when my date called to change the hook up time to 10 pm instead, so I pretty much had about a couple of hours to kill when she called and I decided to drive the cab for an hour and make few extra bucks instead of sitting on my ass.

The first fare I picked up took me to 17th and East Capitol and while I was pulling up to the curve the motherfucker (probably one of Mad Cabbie's cousins) without saying or demanding anything stabbed me with an eight inch knife in the back of my shoulder once and while he was trying to stick me for the second time I managed to get away with a little cut on my arm, put the car on park, open the door and fell on the ground and while I was getting up screaming trying to defend myself the punk ran away through an alley. My shoulder was hurting and bleeding so I drove myself to DC General Hospital which was a few blocks away. When I got to the emergency room I thought everyone were going to stop what they were doing and rush to treat my sorry ass almost one inch deep stab wound but the fat black chick who was at the counter told me to calm my white ass down because they were attending to patients on a case by case basis and they were quite a few gun shot victims. This hospital was in a middle of crime infested black neighbourhood and I was the only white person in that ER room and everyone was staring at me as if I just landed from another planet, I was screaming my lungs out because they wouldn't see me ASAP and to be honest with you I think it was a reverse discrimination and where was that fucken Johnny Cochran when I needed him.

All that time I wasn't worried about my wounds, the only thing I was thinking about was if I was going to make it on time for the date at Mr Henry's with a chick I worked so hard for to get her attention and the way things were going in that dumb ass ER room it was unlikely that I will be out of there on time so when I noticed that my bleeding stopped I just took off home to clean up, pad it up and change my shirt. While I was driving home I called my man Ghost (The guy with a plastic bag full of weed from our last Saturday's party) Ghost can get you any drug legal or illegal, he's like the pharmacist for the uninsured masses, so I told him that I was just stabbed and meet me up at my house with some strong ass pain killer and antibiotics and he always delivers never fail. Hey by the way Ghost! I am running a little low on my Viagra supplies nigga, so I will call you later!

I showed up at Mr Henry's looking like a football player with my shoulder padded up unprofessionally, It looked so obvious I have to tell her something happened but I didn't tell her that I was stabbed and scare the shit out of her so I made up some lame story about falling on a sharp object. The pain was under control thanks to Dr Ghost but the bleeding started again while I was eating and the waiting staff were freaking out looking at my blood stained shirt so I rushed to the rest room and to my surprise I started bleeding out of control they had to call an ambulance and rushed me to Georgetown Hospital.

When I arrived at Georgetown hospital it was a scene from one of the episodes of ER how they took care of me and to make the long story short after a long stay and some interrogation by the police on how I got the wounds we left the hospital five in the morning with Mad Cabbie and Ali two fingers by my side laughing their asses off. These days I pick and choose who I have in my cab, fuck that! I used to be like Mad Cabbie Mr righteous pick everyone up and do the right thing! No sir I would like to live a couple of more years and go on dates without bleeding all over the fucken place, Mad! you refused to take my advice so it's just a matter of time....tick tock! tick tock! tick tock! until I watch the ten O'clock news with your scary ass picture in the background! and I am not going to do this blog by myself bitch.

P.S There was no second date with that girl! Do you blame her? I don't!

Peace.

Pastor Joe.

LET'S MOVE ON

Thanks Pastor for the posting about our Saturday night party and you pretty much talked about most of the highlights of the night. The Halloween party at that house in Potomac was interesting. Hey Ghost! What the fuck is wrong with you man? walking around with grocery bag full of pot! I have never seen that many full house of high people in my life thanks to you, even I was high as a kite and I don't smoke that shit. The house was full with pot smoke and at one point the smoke detector alarm went off. Wild! Wild! Wild! and thanks to Barwood cab #403 for driving my drunk ass home at six in the morning and I promise I will write about the issue we have discussed.

I am sorry that after Tommy's death I haven't been posting lately but this tragedy made me rethink about a lot of things and I have been dealing with some personal issues including my long time on again off again relationship with Kim. It came to a point our potential union started to sound like a business negotiation, I kept my end of the bargain after we first started to talk about moving together, I even put my house for sell out in the market to move back in to the city to accommodate her professional needs but when things started to get complicated and sticky we called it off!

"Mad! Didn't I told you not to trust those Koreans?"

Shut up Pastor! This is not the time for I told you so, Kim is a great woman and I wish her all the best and we are in good terms, as a matter of fact she is coming to town for Thanksgiving to be with her parents (our parents are still neighbours) and I might get lucky too! right Kim?

I live a great simple life and I want to keep it that way. I come out to work drive a cab which I don't consider it "work" to be honest with you, I get paid to bullshit with hitch hikers! not a bad deal is it? some of them may wanna stab me! big deal but you should see some of Pastor Joe's old stab wounds courtesy of few of his thoughtful and desperate passengers and they are some ugly ass scars but my man Pastor still managed to get in to the pants of an Argentinian hottie Saturday night, those scars didn't stop her at all. So I am pretty much optimistic about the career path I took, and the rest of my day I spend a great deal of time on something I am so passionate about, that's my real job and it doesn't pay a dime but it is worth every second spent.

Listen, enough with the personal garbage! this blog is supposed to be about stupid funny stuff I encounter and observe during the night shift while you sleep at night, having sex with your girlfriend or not having sex with your wife like most married couple! but I promise that I shall return with some entertaining cab tales since I am back to my real ownself now.

This is a cartoon my friend Lug from Mirth, Musings & More emailed to me, Lug thinks they stole my tag line! It's a pretty funny cartoon but the homeless crisis is real so please let's not forget the homeless and you know damn well it's getting cold on the streets.


Mad Cabbie.

WHAT A NIGHT!

Don't ask me how a Saturday night to celebrate and remember our suddenly departed friend "Wall Street Tom" at his favorite bar in Du Pont circle ended up at a huge house in Potomac Maryland with yours truly Mr Mad Cabbie hosting the best Halloween costume contest among people we don't know! Tommy I know if you looked down that Saturday night, you couldn't be less proud of us on how we celebrated your life spent in this shit hole planet of ours by the way we did! you know how we do it Tommy!

I got to the bar in Du Pont around 8:30 about an hour late but Mr Mad Cabbie, Ali, Jeff, Musa, Alex, Doug, Girma and Mike (The cab driver crew) Mr Hook, T-Bone and Ghost (Pimping department) Allyson, Liz and Jude (Tom's girlfriend and her friends) Josh and his girlfriend (Fans of the blog) were already there and enjoying the second round of drinks. By the way Josh (our fan) How did you manage to get a blond piece of ass like that? she is really gorgeous man! I think you are packing a fire hose between your legs dude! and thanks to Nancy (Mad's sister) and her boyfriend Phil for stopping by for a few minutes and hang among a suspicious looking crowd like us to say hello.

We talked, exchange stories and laughed about Wall Street Tom pretty much the whole night and the plan was to hit other couple of bars in Du Pont and call it a night until our program took unexpected turn when we met some Iranian dudes we know at the bar and who were shocked to hear about Tom's death and they insisted to join them at the Bam Bule' Club in Friendship Heights and celebrate some more. I think it took a packed five cabs to take us up there! When we arrived at the club it was a full house, the music blasting, boobs flying and asses shaking, it was really happening. We got there close to two O'clock and we ordered drinks by the bottles to beat the last call thanks to the owner of the club who is tight with Mad, for hooking us up. It was a great atmosphere with people wearing their Halloween costumes and there was a lot of craziness and for the rest of the night we pretty much took over the club and we were attracting lots of attention and that's why another group approached us and ask us to follow them to some Halloween party in progress in Potomac Maryland.

The huge ass house is owned by a thirty something Indian who is in the pharmaceutical business, when we arrived there were about thirty drunk people wearing some crazy ass costumes and dancing. By the time all of us in the group showed up, there were about thirty more pissed drunk guests carrying a Safeway bag full of weed, thanks to our friend Ghost for dropping 2G's worth of grass on the buffet table, even old granny was getting high. Things were getting out of control it was like the old studio 54, by the time I got back inside after a brief make out session with a girl from Argentina outside the house, the next thing I saw was Mad Cabbie MCing the best Halloween costume contest and painting some chicks breast! it was WILD! man it was good times all away. The highlight of the party was when Mad made a little speech about Tom and afterwards looking at full house of strangers who never met Tom, chanting "Tommy! Tommy! Tommy!" 5 in the morning, that was so emotional it brought tears to my eyes and I am not well known for my sensitivity.

I can't put together in words on how we had a great time and celebrate Tom at the same time! maybe Mad will in his next post but it was straight up Tommy's style, I am sure he loved it. To see a bunch of retarded cabbie friends stumbled in to a party in Potomac and take over and set the tone high and wild was priceless. We thank our Indian host for being a good sports and letting all those scary individuals in your house and that's why we let you had the left over weeds, that will hold you up until your next shipment from Bombay arrives!

Peace,

Pastor Joe.