CAB PROBLEMS AT UNION STATION

Robert Samuels of the Washington Post wrote a great article on what some late night passengers at Union Station have to go through just to get a ride home. Mr. Samuels did his home work and wrote a well articulated piece about the problem, unlike his colleague Petula "all you can eat" Dvorak's poor yapping.

I drive at night and from time to time I work at Union Station when it is busy. What I witness at the station when ever there is a big line is really embarrassing, drivers speeding off when they learn the first person in line is a black guy, refusing to drive a passenger to a place they don't like, cherry picking their pickups and so on and so on. I have been a night driver for years and this problem is nothing new, but one should ask why do these problems happen mostly at night? Two things: 1- Half of the cab fleet during the night are illegal drivers, which means they are not licensed to drive a cab in the District of Columbia. They have nothing to protect if they get caught breaking the law, they get a $250 ticket and they wipe their asses with it and come back to hustle the next night. There should be a much stiffer punishment, like hard labor in Siberia or something! 2- The so called hack-inspectors are fighting the wrong war, instead of really investigating if the presented hack license is legitimate when a cab driver is pulled over, they check if a manifest is filled up, if our socks match, if we are wearing our seat belts and some other bull-shit laws that really don't help and protect the riding public.

The fix of this particular dilemma is simple, have couple of hack-inspectors at the taxi-line, problem solved! Don't tell me that the District of Columbia don't have a few thousand dollars to pay couple of guys to be on duty at the station when ever it is busy. But at the same time hack-inspectors need some more training to do, they need to understand that we the drivers are not the enemy but unfortunately that's how they look at us. Instead of being a team and work on addressing all the issues we encounter, we're playing the cat and mouse game.

For those ass-hole cherry-picking fellow cabbies who are throwing their passengers under the bus when they are in need, I got a message for you, fuck you all. Cab drivers, we are in the business of picking up strangers and drive them where ever shit hole they want to go. When you are in the business of picking strangers at night there is always that chance of dangerous encounter, we knew that when we decided to choose this pathetic career path. Get with program guys, like they say, if it is too hot, get the fuck out of the kitchen......

"Excuse me Mad, you're trying to be a hero you retard! Some thug is going to smoke your ass one of these days if you keep picking up every creep you see on the streets!"

Big deal, I have bunch of under-pants with skid marks that I kept as souvenirs each time I was robbed! Stop worrying man, just live every day as if it's your last day.

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.      

PRINCE GEORGE COUNTY

 
Prince George's County is a part of Maryland that borders Washington, DC. It's on its way to be recognized as the murder capital of the United States. I feel sorry for the cabbies who work in that dump, I feel much safer hustling in any DC ghetto than that shit hole they call Prince George's county. In fact I have heard of a PG county cabbie who joined the army and got shipped to Afghanistan just to get away from the violence in Landover.

About a year ago some jackass robbed an Ethiopian cabdriver, shot him in the back of the head, threw him out of the cab, ran over him and left him for dead in Landover. They caught that savage moron driving the murdered Ethiopian cabdriver's taxi the next day. Few months ago he got convicted and got life plus 80 years, I think he well be eligible for parole on his 137th birthday!

As of today there are 11 murders in 2011 already! Brothers are getting out of control man, something needs to be done, somebody! Al Sharpton, why isn't his fat ass marching already?

There is this chic who drives a cab out there in PG county, she's got more balls than I do man, and she has a blog too. Just check her out when you get a chance and let her know how brave she is.

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

WHY CALL DIAMOND CAB?

Last night I picked up a petite young blond from a bar in DuPont Circle. She was trying to get home around Logan Circle after a bartending gig. She could have easily walked out to the street and flagged a cab off Connecticut avenue but instead she called Diamond Cab and paid the extra $2.00 charge for the service. But she was telling me that ever since she got robbed by a thug who was driving a stolen cab she was riding in, she stopped catching a cab off the street whenever she rides alone at night. Cabs get stolen all the time and who ever drives the stolen cab could have an open crime season to do what ever he wants if he decides to pick up people. I think she is lucky person that she is still living.

This is another reason why you should call Diamond Cab, especially if you are a chick riding alone at night. Don't call our only competition (Yellow Cab)! The drivers are ugly motherfuckers and they only take showers on holidays. Here at Diamond Cab, drivers are required by management to take a shower at least once every other week but most drivers I know are hygiene freaks and they do shower every Sunday.

Here is our call center number if you need it! (202)387-6200

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

THIRD TIME IS A CHARM

I have been robbed at gunpoint couple of times. The first time I got robbed I almost pooped on my seat but I ended up just having a few brown skid marks in my pants. Just as a reminder on how my job dangerous it could be, I have that same messy pants nicely framed and hanged in my living room. Sometimes I have visitors to my house asking me, "Hey Mad, we didn't know that you're in to abstract arts! Is that a Picasso?"

"That's not a Picasso motherfucker! That's what night cabbies pants look like every time a gun is pointed at the back of their heads!"

The second time was a little different, there were no skid marks or anything like that. I was cool and calm and the jackass who robbed me was nice and polite as well, I think I gave him my card in case next time he needed a ride.

Lately I am kind of feeling my third one is past due, especially in my case who never cherry pick his passengers. You could be waving your gun with one hand and a crack pipe with the other to get my attention, and my dumb ass would stop for you to take you to where ever shit hole you belong to. This time I am hoping to have a drink afterwards with the next motherfucker who's going to rob my sorry ass.

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

COLUMBIA HEIGHTS METRO ALERT

Last night around midnight I was picking my nose while sitting at a red light at 14th and Irving when a distressed young woman banged on the passenger side window so I can let her in. When she got off the metro and walked few blocks towards 11th and Kenyon where she lived, and half way home couple of guys one of them holding a knife tried to rob her. She managed to run away from them until she found me. This poor soul was crying, moaning, farting and everything.

I suggested we call the cops so she can give them description of the thugs but all she wanted was to go home, didn't want to deal with the scare at all. The only thing she noticed was that they were couple of black guys, actually she was polite she said "African American gentlemen".

I gave her a free ride home which was only about four blocks so don't pat me on the back for that bone. I walked her to the basement of some row house and let her in safely. There have been all kind of muggings going on in Columbia heights while the cops are chilling at that 7-11 on 14th and Columbia. If you are especially a female walking home alone from the metro during those hours, use extra care please. I don't want to read about you on the metro section of the post.

In the mean time if you see two black guys in Columbia Heights, let me know will you?

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

HIGH-TECH BEN

Ben is one of the few Jewish cabbies still driving in Washington and he looks like Rick Moranis from the movie "Honey I shrunk The Kids". He left the cab biz about three years ago after he got robbed at gun point. Ben is a strange guy, no one knows about his personal life because he doesn't say much and he is a loner. He used to be fascinated with latest technology, guns and World War-II and I always thought he would be a good candidate to be a serial killer, in fact when we had those Washington area random shootings and killings by those two freaks few years ago, we kind of suspected Ben was the trigger man at one point and we even had are own dumb ass investigation until we cleared him.

As soon as a new technology hit the streets Ben had it! He used to have the most wired cab in town. You could be in Ben's cab running your mouth while your image is being stored at his home server in Rockville. The first time I saw a GPS was in his cab and I think he dropped something like $1500 back then. If you thought you were whispering some conversation with a friend while riding in his cab and you think he is not listening, good luck! The chances are he probably heard all your kinky stories with his surveillance gear.

No driver liked Ben because he doesn't say hello or engaged in any conversation with other drivers but for some reason he likes to hang out with me even though he barley says a word. I tolerate his mood swings and to me he is a very fascinating character and whenever we hang out at the Taste Diner in Bethesda with other drivers, he shows up, takes a seat and stares at us with a little nod and orders the same dumb shit every time! French toast and hot tea.

Three years ago Ben picked up some dudes on East Capitol street and after a few minutes ride they pulled up a gun around 4th and Florida NE and they had him pull up behind one of those wholesale warehouses and robbed his money and all of his gadgets. After a few pistol whippings they threw him in the trunk and took off with his cab with Ben in the trunk. Their first stop? Wendy's drive through at New York and Florida! While they were ordering their shit the motherfuckers were arguing what to do with Ben. If you are wondering why Ben didn't scream for his life? He claims he doesn't remember much and he thinks he might have passed out.

Luck was on Ben's side that night, as soon as they pulled out of the Wendy's parking lot they got involved with a fender bender and they took off running leaving Ben shitting in his pants until the DC cops showed up and rescued his ass. We got the word that night that he was taken to Howard University Hospital so me, Pastor and couple of other drivers rushed to the hospital and what we saw wasn't pretty. They messed up his face real bad but he was lucky to be alive and later helped police to identify those thugs after they got caught the same night. Ben walked away from cab driving and that was the last time I saw him until...

Last Thursday around three in the morning I was chilling at one of our usual spot with couple of Diamond drivers and guess who showed up and our jaws dropped! The legendary High-Tech Ben! and as if he met us the night before he just gave us his usual nod and sat next to me without saying anything. He still ordered the same old French toast and hot tea shit and started staring outside looking at bunch of construction crew.

Welcome back to hacking Ben!

Don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.