BEN HAS A GIRLFRIEND

High-Tech Ben called me up last night and insisted that we meet because he had something important to tell me. I was rolling last night and I really didn't want to stop hacking but after his fifteenth phone call I gave up and agreed to to meet up at one of our overnight hang out spots around three in the morning.

When we usually meet up and chill, we hang for about an hour and he may talk for thirty seconds and I yap for the rest of fifty nine minutes and thirty seconds. Last night it was different, he was doing all the talking, Ben is in LOVE! How did he pulled it off? I have known Ben for many years and I have never seen him with a woman before, the last boyfriend-girlfriend relationship that he talks is about a blind girl he dated in high school and that was about a hundred years ago. Ben is a creepy guy and has  "A future serial killer" written all over his forehead but I like him, the only subjects that he talk about comfortably are about the latest electronic gadgets and World War II. Its easy to spot Ben because he likes to hack around the hookers corner at K and M streets downtown with his surveillance gears on board.

Ben comes from a wealthy family and he inherited one of his parent's paid off house in Rockville, but both of his well to do professional sisters broke off any communication with him for a reason that he don't like to talk about. Ben is also a very good cab driver, he has a way of hacking that he mastered to an exact science. I know cab driving is an honest living but there has to be some shit during our childhood that makes us hang on to this crazy profession as a career. I wonder what went wrong with Ben?

Mad: This better be good motherfucker, I was on a roll tonite until you slowed my ass down bitch, so whats up High-Tech?

Ben: I think I need you to check out this woman I like.

Mad: what makes you think I am an expert, I haven't get laid yet in 2011

Ben: She is blind and Jewish.

Mad: What the fuck is with you and these blind women? And why do you care whether she is Jewish or not? When is the last time you showed up at a synagogue ever since your bar mitzvah motherfucker?

Ben: This is no joke man, she is a good woman and she likes me.

Mad: Well at least she won't be able to see your creepy ass!

Few weeks ago Ben picked this blind woman with a see-eye-dog and drove her to the animal hospital on Brandywine street, she dropped her dog off and had Ben drive her back home. On the way home Ben mentioned that he dated a blind girl in high school and they ended up talking in his cab for two hours. I just cant imagine High-Tech Ben talking to another human being for two hours, I guess he really likes her. His plan was he wanted me to stay up late and drive little more so he can show me his girl this morning at her regular bus stop on her way to her federal job.

So it was early this morning that two retarded cab drivers parked at a street corner stalking a blind woman and her see-eye-dog at a bus stop. I was surprised man, she is one blind woman who really takes care of herself and I don't know why he needed my stamp of approval. As far as I am concerned he did well, he probably told her that he looks like George Clooney. He is going to take her to his house this weekend and he might get lucky too.

"Mad, what a pathetic life you have! Even the creepy ass High-Tech-Ben is going to get laid before you do this year you looser!"

Come on man, why beat on a brother when he's down?

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

HIGH-TECH BEN

Ben is one of the few Jewish cabbies still driving in Washington and he looks like Rick Moranis from the movie "Honey I shrunk The Kids". He left the cab biz about three years ago after he got robbed at gun point. Ben is a strange guy, no one knows about his personal life because he doesn't say much and he is a loner. He used to be fascinated with latest technology, guns and World War-II and I always thought he would be a good candidate to be a serial killer, in fact when we had those Washington area random shootings and killings by those two freaks few years ago, we kind of suspected Ben was the trigger man at one point and we even had are own dumb ass investigation until we cleared him.

As soon as a new technology hit the streets Ben had it! He used to have the most wired cab in town. You could be in Ben's cab running your mouth while your image is being stored at his home server in Rockville. The first time I saw a GPS was in his cab and I think he dropped something like $1500 back then. If you thought you were whispering some conversation with a friend while riding in his cab and you think he is not listening, good luck! The chances are he probably heard all your kinky stories with his surveillance gear.

No driver liked Ben because he doesn't say hello or engaged in any conversation with other drivers but for some reason he likes to hang out with me even though he barley says a word. I tolerate his mood swings and to me he is a very fascinating character and whenever we hang out at the Taste Diner in Bethesda with other drivers, he shows up, takes a seat and stares at us with a little nod and orders the same dumb shit every time! French toast and hot tea.

Three years ago Ben picked up some dudes on East Capitol street and after a few minutes ride they pulled up a gun around 4th and Florida NE and they had him pull up behind one of those wholesale warehouses and robbed his money and all of his gadgets. After a few pistol whippings they threw him in the trunk and took off with his cab with Ben in the trunk. Their first stop? Wendy's drive through at New York and Florida! While they were ordering their shit the motherfuckers were arguing what to do with Ben. If you are wondering why Ben didn't scream for his life? He claims he doesn't remember much and he thinks he might have passed out.

Luck was on Ben's side that night, as soon as they pulled out of the Wendy's parking lot they got involved with a fender bender and they took off running leaving Ben shitting in his pants until the DC cops showed up and rescued his ass. We got the word that night that he was taken to Howard University Hospital so me, Pastor and couple of other drivers rushed to the hospital and what we saw wasn't pretty. They messed up his face real bad but he was lucky to be alive and later helped police to identify those thugs after they got caught the same night. Ben walked away from cab driving and that was the last time I saw him until...

Last Thursday around three in the morning I was chilling at one of our usual spot with couple of Diamond drivers and guess who showed up and our jaws dropped! The legendary High-Tech Ben! and as if he met us the night before he just gave us his usual nod and sat next to me without saying anything. He still ordered the same old French toast and hot tea shit and started staring outside looking at bunch of construction crew.

Welcome back to hacking Ben!

Don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.