I have been robbed at gunpoint couple of times. The first time I got robbed I almost pooped on my seat but I ended up just having a few brown skid marks in my pants. Just as a reminder on how my job dangerous it could be, I have that same messy pants nicely framed and hanged in my living room. Sometimes I have visitors to my house asking me, "Hey Mad, we didn't know that you're in to abstract arts! Is that a Picasso?"
"That's not a Picasso motherfucker! That's what night cabbies pants look like every time a gun is pointed at the back of their heads!"
The second time was a little different, there were no skid marks or anything like that. I was cool and calm and the jackass who robbed me was nice and polite as well, I think I gave him my card in case next time he needed a ride.
Lately I am kind of feeling my third one is past due, especially in my case who never cherry pick his passengers. You could be waving your gun with one hand and a crack pipe with the other to get my attention, and my dumb ass would stop for you to take you to where ever shit hole you belong to. This time I am hoping to have a drink afterwards with the next motherfucker who's going to rob my sorry ass.
Please don't forget the homeless,
Mad Cabbie.
8 comments:
MC, great funny post. You should do a stand up, I will pay to see you do your routine.
Terry.
I have been robbed over ten times and in each of those situation I ended up with a messy underware. I got tired of that bullshit and started wearing daipers to work.
"I don't cherrypick my passengers???" You are one idiot motherfucker!
If I drove a cab I wouldn't pick up niggers. Pastor Joe, how about telling us what have you been up to these days. I used to enjoy your stories which are better than mad cabbie's. mad no offense, you are a good nigger!
Blue Eyes.
Yo Mad, I don't cherry pick, and I NEVER will...I am called idiot muthafucker by most of my cabbie friends, but my belief is if its your time .....then time's up mofo !!
AND NO FUCKIN ONE can change that but the big man himself....and as for Blue Eyes statement ...come to NYC so I can flatten those racist hillbilly eyes with some straight up NYC taxi lessons....and I also have some similar art on my wall Mad which I refer to as Pick-Ass-Oh !! Peace out D.C. , glad you're safe brother.
Terry, a few years ago I did an amateur night in a Laural comedy club and I got a few laughs but I did stick with my day job!
Pastor, you are old enough to wear diapers anyways!
Blue Eyes, you said I am a good nigger? Thanks for the compliment bro!
King my brother! Don't worry about Blue Eyes, the highlight of his day is leaving a comment on this blog. I suspect Blue Eyes my be Dick Cheney just killing time! King I am glad that you and I have the same attitude about picking up ALL people. What ever happens, happens! Who gives a shit. I hope your boy is doing better King.
Aww MadCabbie :( I think my dad was robbed several times too.. I remember he kept his money hidden in a bandaid box - might of worked in the early 80's but probably not now!
BTW I was kidnapped in a pirate cab in Bogota Colombia - very dangerous. In South America you always have to call a cab.
If you hail one of the street you have the possibility of going on the famed "veulta millionaria"
This is basically when a pirate cabbie ( usually a stolen cab) pick you up...acts like his break are giving out and then stops on an abandoned street ...and then tow thugs jump in the back seat of your car with a knife. They get your atm card - make you give them the password...and then drive you around Bogota to different banks...
I didn't poop per say - I fainted and melted into the back seat when it happened...
Luckily my Spanish is good enough that they didn't think I was American - anyhoo....
They started asking me about my life and who my husband was and how much money I had ...and I gave them my whole life story like...
For an hour ...
This was so me....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5UG7ISJfP0
I must have given them a headache or something..and I only had 30 dollars in my bank account at the time...
they let me go telling me " they had been robbed" and even gave me money for cab fare home....
Thanks to the angel that was watching over me ....
Speaking of racists...
check out my new youtube vid about my dad's case ..
Hope you don't mind me posting it here...
This is why my grandmother was so hell bent on portraying her son to the courts as a transient cab driver who died in a "rooming house and his bank records were stolen" Yeah right...
My dad's father had an Obama connection ;)
I found an interview of Mack's father on the internet . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnPUbn_aXpU
The judge should order my grandma to sing in this choir every day for the rest of her life ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1kjkUAA9VM
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