A call girl I know called me last night while I was hacking and asked me to come to her apartment and be with her grandmother for a couple hours. I have known Steph for years and she is a great person, great friend and no benefits. I will do anything for her especially when she promised a hundred bill for my troubles.
Her grandmom is here in town for some kind of medical treatment at NIH and staying with Steph for few days. The old lady doesn't sleep well at night and Steph had to take care of well paying out of state client last night, so here comes Mad Cabbie for the rescue.
When Steph introduced me to her granny I saw fear in the poor old lady's eyes. It's like she have never seen a black dude before. She's from the woods outside Boston, I think the place is called "noblacksville" or some shit like that. Lucky for her I cut my hair, I used to look like a bad ass motherfucker who stab babies for a living, now I am just a tall retard.
Steph was gone for couple of hours, the first hour the old lady was scared to death she didn't say much but just kept asking me how I knew her granddaughter. By the time Steph came back that old bitch was so loose she was sitting on my lap and laughing.
Steph walked me to the lobby and mentioned that she haven't seen her grandma laugh like that in a long time and that made me feel real good. She thanked me, gave me a kiss and slipped some cash in my shirt pocket and I left. I didn't count the cash until I got in my cab, it was a cool $150 for two hours work!
God bless her because I was struggling to make some cash on the street. Believe me if Mad Cabbie is having a hard time making money, that means it's really bad out there. Besides that, our regular night dispatcher Robby wasn't on the deck, just hearing his voice makes me want to work. Instead, right-wing James the ultra conservative black man was dispatching. He is so boring and doesn't know how to dispatch. So I usually turn off the radio and look for drunks off the streets. I heard he was the only black dude who attended Glenn "the clown" Beck's white trash gathering at the Lincoln Memorial!
"Fuck you! Mad Cabbie, who you calling white trash, boy? I am a whip your ass nigger! Glenn Beck is our Moses and he is going to free us from being slaves for the lift-wing elites and take us in to the promise-land across the reflecting pool to our White House tea party in 2012! I know your cab number motherfucker, you better watch your back!"
What ever dude, isn't Glenn Beck supposed to go blind or something? What the fuck is he doing at the Lincoln Memorial? And how the fuck this blog entry go from baby sitting an old fossil to a word match with a Glenn Beck fan?
Please don't forget the homeless,
Mad Cabbie.
10 comments:
What's up with that "We're just friends" bullshit MC? That Steph is a piece of ass. I bet you wondered in her bedroom and sniffed some of her used undies you freak! And who you calling white trash?
Pastor, it's a sad day in America when a racist idiot like Glenn Beck can a pull off a gathering like that. But again, America is full of retards like yourself. How come you didn't make it to the Lincoln memorial the other day? Oh! I forgot you had a date with your cousin!
Welcome back. Where do you live on 17? I used to live at 1815. It was a great place to live, when I was there. 17 has lost much of its character, but still, not a bad place to be. And no, I do not expect you to put your address here.
Have you registered to vote in DC, yet? I hope so. I will be putting my fat behind onto my Schwinn heavyweight and pedalling it over to the Bertie Backus on 14 September to help our cause. I do hope that thou shalt betake thy posterior to Marie Reed (at least that is where I voted when I lived on 17) to help our cause. HELP MAKE His Exalted Supremacy Adri-Amin Felonty a ONE TERM MAYOR!!! (and even THAT was TWO terms too many!)
Anyhow, I am assuming that you know about Lorenzi. They stuck me on the morning; I hate getting up that early, but Deena makes me brekkie every morning, so that helps.
I always thought that 282 was from Trinidad, but I never did ask him. He and I never did get along too well. We tolerate each other, these days; I guess that we have both gotten older and smarter.
Anyhow, do not forget 14 September: time to send Dear Revered Leader Kim il-Fenty to the unemployment line. Maybe he can use the time to take a trip to North Korea, so that he can study more closely the methods of his idols, Kim il-Sung and Kim Jong-il.
Good to hear from you Phil, I know you that you took over the morning show. Thank God they put someone that knows his shit, otherwise it could be a disaster when the business picks up!
Fenty is going to be a one hit wonder like Lips Inc. I hustled my ass for him last time but he is one lying motherfucker, I can't believe I wasted all that time across the other side of the bridge for him. I don't like Gray either but he is the lesser of two evils and I will vote for him on Tuesday!
I live south of your old address, man I love it and it brought back lots of good memories! Now I am getting some pun-tangs here and there Phil!
Say hello to your bride man!
Cheers.
Welcome back Mad, bout time.
Make no mistake about it, I am no fan of Glenn Peckerhead. Still, I wonder why everyone is fussing about him and no one bothers to mention that Rev. Al Sharptongue, another racist and a hater par excellence, held a rally the same day. Oh, Sharptongue is a darling of the left and reminds all of these Guilty White Liberals just how guilty they are.
Sharptongue deserves just as much condemnation as does Peckerhead.
Anyhow, James the Right Wing Black Man has been doing many six to midnights, so you might hear more of Jones. He has been complaining a great deal lately about not getting any days off. Goofy Tom has been working a few extra shifts here and there, but, again, those are six to midnights, which ain't your prime time. My understanding is that Billy the Pool Shark has bought a pool hall, so he has cut back to one night per week and may even give up that.
At some point, Diamond is going to have to go to a satellite, as they are running out of dispatchers. David Nejadi is scraping the bottom of the barrel. Opoku is showing some promise, however. The thing about him is that when he gets excited, it becomes extremely difficult to understand him. I have told him about that, he says that he understands, and has been trying to keep his cool.
Make no mistake about it, I am no fan of Glenn Peckerhead. Still, I wonder why everyone is fussing about him and no one bothers to mention that Rev. Al Sharptongue, another racist and a hater par excellence, held a rally the same day. Oh, Sharptongue is a darling of the left and reminds all of these Guilty White Liberals just how guilty they are.
Sharptongue deserves just as much condemnation as does Peckerhead.
Anyhow, James the Right Wing Black Man has been doing many six to midnights, so you might hear more of Jones. He has been complaining a great deal lately about not getting any days off. Goofy Tom has been working a few extra shifts here and there, but, again, those are six to midnights, which ain't your prime time. My understanding is that Billy the Pool Shark has bought a pool hall, so he has cut back to one night per week and may even give up that.
At some point, Diamond is going to have to go to a satellite, as they are running out of dispatchers. David Nejadi is scraping the bottom of the barrel. Opoku is showing some promise, however. The thing about him is that when he gets excited, it becomes extremely difficult to understand him. I have told him about that, he says that he understands, and has been trying to keep his cool.
It's rough all over - I was laid off at Christmas - have a less good job with humiliating pay - and am waiting for the economy to turn around.
Hang in there Mad!
Yo Mad, I like mature women too, but a lap dance by a a GILF ???
(Grandma I'd like to ...well you know ) LMAO Glen Speck couldn't part a small New York City puddle with his cracker ass foot ...his 15 minutes are UP ! Hilarious shit bro , missed it, glad you're back. Peace.
Hi Mad Cabbie - I just discovered your blog and I love it! I'm working my way through the archives, and you have some great stories.
I frequently take cabs in DC, and one thing I've always been curious about that I'm wondering if you'd mind clarifying. Do drivers get a cut of the cab fare at all? Also, what is considered an acceptable tip? I've been told rounding up the fare and adding a dollar is ok, and I've also been told to tip 15-20% like you would in a restaurant.
Thanks for any input on the matter!
Meg
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