THE BIKE MESSENGER WITH A GOLDEN DICK

From time to time we get these delivery runs in the middle of the night all over the city. Delivery run means when a customer wants something picked up like cigarettes, prescriptions, food, condoms or whatever legal item and have it delivered by one of us retards and don't mind paying $27 plus cost of goods for the service. I like doing that shit, it's the easiest $27 you can make without robbing someone.

This Russian dude was about five foot nothing, muscular build and was standing half naked in front of his townhouse to greet me and receive the cigarettes he wanted to be delivered. The door was was slightly open and I can see table full of alcohol drinks, two hot chics, one of them standing topless and the other barley clothed lying on the couch. I have done this job quit a few times before and each time I go to this place he's always partying with different girls.

Being a nosey person that I am, last night I had to say something and I asked, "Dude, either you have shit load of cash, or tone of coke in your basement man! What's up with all these naked chics every time I come here bro?" He gave me that devilish Vladimir Putin smile and with a thick Russian accent he said "My brother, I am just a poor bike messenger trying to enjoy life in America!" He handed me my cash and slammed the door on my face while I was trying to take a good look at the topless chic. JACKASS!!!

He has no money, no coke and that leads me to believe that his dick is made of gold.

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.