POST #200

It took over two years to post couple of hundred blogs but what can I say? I am too lazy and I have all kind of shit on the table besides driving a cab.

"Like what Mad Cabbie? Holding your dick in front of your computer surfing through those porn sites!"

Shut up you idiot! You got me mixed up with Mr Lugosi!

I am taking a little break starting tomorrow. I wasn't working enough this year and I didn't generate enough cash so I am taking a poor man's vacation. I will be spending the weekend in New York to catchup with old friends and Tuesday I will drive down to Ocean city and stare at the water for a week. This is the first time that I will be going on a vacation alone for that long so it's going to be interesting. Kids are back in school so I will be checking out some senior citizen asses out there. As long as the chics are under 80 years old I am down with that, maybe we can do something kinky like choking each other and stuff!

Oh, there is a taxi fare increase in the works for DC cabs pretty soon, you read it here at Mad Cabbie first! Relax, maybe it's not going to affect the DC to DC fares I am not sure but if you're traveling out of DC and to the airports the fares are going to be a little higher! Just like the cabs in Arlington, Alexandria, Montgomery County...

Check out these cabbies while I am gone.
My man Roy who is a freak in Ireland, I would like to have a drink with this guy in the future! And how about the lady cab driver from Texas, she is a nice and courteous rookie driver in San Antonio, give her another year or two, she will start bitch slapping those old ladies. Finally check my man King of New York, this motherfucker is the real deal!

I will see you when I get back.

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

P.S I forgot about this cabbie from the Big Apple goes by the name G.S, I think he is the Yankee owner George Steinbrenner pretending to be a cab driver. Check him out!

COMFORT MY ASS

"Welcome to the Comfort Inn & Suites, a Washington, D.C. hotel near the Lincoln Memorial...The Comfort Inn & Suites® hotel is conveniently located in the heart of the city, offering easy access to many museums, historical landmarks and popular attractions......In addition to the many nearby landmarks, Washington, D.C. is full of many great theaters, entertainment venues, cultural attractions and shopping centers. A variety of restaurants and cocktail lounges can be found in the surrounding area, including several within walking distance..."

This is what the Comfort Inn at 1600 New York avenue NE bullshit on their website. The only thing you can find with in a walking distance from this dump is getting robbed and stabbed by one of those nice gentlemen who hang out by the gas stations. So you better stay put in your hotel room listening to the moaning of some douchebag next door banging a hooker.

Last night I picked up a couple of hookers in front of the Washington Post and took them to this same hotel where they staying. They were crying and complaining about business being slow, but I told them to chill because everything else in Washington is slow in August. Everyone is out of town this month, the only crowd in the city are the tourists and the type of visitors who come to Washington are the family types. They are not looking for hookers, the men just bang their wives while thinking of those hookers they just saw around the corner. The only time they crave for a hired pussy is when they come back alone to Washington as businessmen, so hopefully things will pickup next month girls!

As soon as I dropped them off and driving away, I see these poor couple with their two young daughters running towards me dragging their suitcases trying to get my attention. The Dad sat next to me, the wife and the young girls in the back seat.

DAD: Please take us to another hotel near the museums, I don't care what they charge!
ME: You didn't like the place?
DAD: I am sorry that my kids had to go through this!
ME: What happened are you guys alright?
WIFE: There were these two women fighting on our hallway...
DAD: And this big blind naked man was yelling and trying to separate the women...
WIFE: My girls are terrified right now!
DAD: We thought this hotel was in downtown...I have never seen anything like this...

Welcome to my world the family from Colorado! To make this long story short, after a few tries I hooked them up with a room at the Crown Plaza Hotel on 14th and K, we hugged and said our good byes. Those kids may need a therapy pretty soon, looking at a fat naked blind man running around a hotel hallway is not a pretty site.

Please don't forget the homeless and stay away from the motels on New York avenue unless the rooms come with bulletproof vests.

Mad Cabbie.

LESSON LEARNED IN PETWORTH

Petworth is a part of northwest section of DC which is struggling to create it's own identity. It has been labeled the "up and coming" neighborhood for the last ten years or so but there is nothing going up or anything coming yet in my opinion. The only difference I noticed is I see a few whitties brave enough to walk their dogs on Georgia avenue but that doesn't change the fact that Petworth is still a shady-ass place to live, and with a depressed real estate market and tight available cash it may stay that way for a while.

"Mad, that guy Prince of Petworth is going to bitch-slap your ass for badmouthing his hood so you better watch your back cabbie!"

Tell the Prince to calm down man! I am lover not a fighter and I always give good service to the people of Petworth until this small incident that took place around 4am this morning.

James the "Black Right Wing Conservative" dispatcher assigned me a job to pick up a passenger at 4am somewhere near Grant Circle and take her to Union Station. It worked out well because I was dropping off a brother just a few blocks away on Illinois Avenue so I got to the pickup address about ten minutes early. When I arrived in front of the house there was a Yellow Cab sitting and waiting for the same passenger but for a 3:45am pick up! So I was a back-up plan in case Yellow Cab didn't show up. It's the old "Let's call multiple cab companies and we will take the first one that shows" trick. But there is unwritten rule among veteran cabbies like Yellow 767 and myself that if you try to pull off some shit like that on us, you are ass would be left on the street and we'll move on to the next pick-up.

A young chic with a suitcase and a laptop came out and she was surprised to see two cabs in front of her door. Her sorry ass plan didn't work because I got there early. I started yelling why she called for two cabs but instead of being apologetic about it, she lied about canceling my order at the office and ignored me and tried to get in to the Yellow Cab, but his door was locked! He said "You can't do this to us, gas costs $4 a gallon! Have a nice day!" and my man pulled off without picking her up. I wasn't nice like him, I said a few more things on my mind and left her skinny ass behind.

I saw her dragging her suitcase on New Hampshire Avenue walking towards Georgia Avenue (about ten blocks) so she can flag a cab off the street. By the way, they sell some good crack-cocaine at that corner of Georgia Avenue! And good luck getting a cab and catching that 5am train.

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

THAT'S HOT

"Oh! Look at my hubby making out with another powerful guy! That's hot! Let me play with my tits a little bit!"

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

BUS TERMINALS

I picked up this huge black dude at the lobby of Vista Hotel right after I dropped off some drunk tourists from Australia at the same hotel. He was at least 6foot 5inches, easy 300lbs and he make me look like a little bitch. He threw a fifty dollar bill at my face and said "I need to get to the Greyhound station ASAP bro, I have to pick up my niece and I don't want to be late! And I want you to wait and bring us back here to the hotel"

Most cabbies don't like to be near the Greyhound Station especially one in the morning. These bus terminals attract the shadiest misfits you can ever find on this planet. Con-artists, drug pushers, runaway kids, child molesters, pimps, hookers, crack whores, illegal cabdrivers, street preachers and the list goes on and on. Being the freak that I am I really enjoy observing these characters, as a matter of fact it kind of relaxes me being among these creatures.

The guy didn't say much besides telling me it was a beautiful night and he was a talent-agent from New York. Talent agent my ass motherfucker! By the way he talked and handled himself I knew he was a pimp. You can never bullshit a good cab driver, I think colleges should require few shot-gun rides with cabbies to their sociology and psychology students as a field assignment, they may learn a few things.

When we arrived at the bus station the so called niece who turned out to be a young fat white chic with 52 triple D's tits was in the lobby already. I think he himself was caught by surprise that the new recruit he got was white mama instead of a black chic.

She told him she was hungry and I took them to my boys at DC Cafe, they got their food and I took them back to their hotel. I am pretty sure he is going to test the merchandise before she is sent out on street mission. By the way did you know that there is a high demand for fat white hookers? My friend Mr Hook always used to tell me that he got tons of hot chics but his inventory of big white women is always low! There are a lot of men in Washington who are chubby-chasers I guess.

When we got to the hotel my man slapped me with another $40 and asked for my number and I gladly gave it to him, these are the moments I live for not those boring Dulles Airport jobs.

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

SOMETHING IN THE AIR

I am thinking of detoxing my cab or something because people tend to pass out in my cab lately. His snoring was interrupting me from listening to a very important discussion on Coast to Coast AM radio program about humans who got impregnated by aliens and stuff.

I tell you, this economy sucks! People can't afford to take vacations anymore, instead they get hammered on a Monday night.

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

FACES OF PERFECTIONISM

Congratulations to Art Monk and Darrell Green! Two of my favorite redskins for getting the well deserved spot at the Football Hall of Fame.

Art Monk, Mr Perfectionist! Who used to catch and run forty or a fifty yard bombs for touchdowns and walked quietly to his bench like it's another day at the job! What a classy dude he was, and still is. Now you have these clowns dancing and shaking their asses every time they catch the ball for a first down while their team is behind by forty points!

Art, I am going to cherish and treasure my beer smelling autographed #81 Redskins jersey for the rest of my life and thanks for the great memories because it has been a painful couple of football decades in Washington.

Please don't forget the homeless, I know Darrell Green doesn't.

Mad Cabbie.

BLACKS VS BLACKS

Every other Friday I stay later than normal and work until 9:00am waiting for the Diamond Cab office to open so I can pick up my insurance stickers. I hate staying that late but it's good to witness the horror of the rat-race sometimes.

I was stopped at a red light at the corner of 15th and I streets, couple of blocks away from the White House around 7:30 this morning. While I was sitting at the light I witnessed at least six empty cabs passing by without stopping for this black chic who was trying to flag a cab so she can get to work on time. As soon as I got the green light I pulled over and picked her up. With a calm voice she said "I am glad you picked me up because I have been out here for half an hour and no cab would stop for me!". It is a crime and injustice that you have to stand and wait half hour for a cab to stop for you in the middle of a business district downtown during rush hour.

Her name is Danielle and she was wanted to go to the "Social Safeway" in Georgetown where she works in the seafood department. That's the Safeway on Wisconsin avenue where people used to flirt and exchange phone numbers before the likings of Match.com took over live socializing. Danielle is one of the thousands and thousands of African Americans around the country facing this dilemma over and over again, in fact Danielle is so used to this she wasn't even upset this morning, she was happy that she will be on time to work. She was telling me that one cab driver once mentioned to her that he doesn't like picking up niggers and the driver was of course BLACK himself. I am not denying the fact that we cab drivers are easy targets for criminals but why in the world that a young black woman on her way to work during day light could be a threat? I am ashamed of some of my fellow DC cab drivers!

I see lot of you cabbies driving around proudly with "Obama for President" bumper stickers, but I bet you that some of you motherfuckers wouldn't pull over for Mr Obama if he flagged you in front of 1600 Pennsylvania avenue. I have been robbed at gunpoint myself and my best friend Pastor Joe who is white and who also got robbed three times and got badly stabbed once never discriminated even after all that until the day he quit cab driving. We can not deny service to the majority of the hard working BLACK people because of the criminal actions of a few NIGGERS! If the kitchen is too hot for you you need to get the fuck out and be a doorman or something.

Danielle, I am glad that we met today and for making me $9 richer for a ten minute ride. The only color that Mad Cabbie pays attention to is the green! nothing else, and thank you for letting me take and post your picture.

P.S If you shop at the Social Safeway in Georgetown, stop by the sea food department and say hi! Danielle knows her sea food.

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.