THOSE CHEAP CANADIANS

It was a heavy rainy night in Washington, March or maybe April and people were fighting each other for cabs. I was rolling with cash doing short runs until some dude with a knocked out tooth dragged my ass all the way to Sibley Memorial Hospital. He said someone in a strip club knocked him out, and this idiot was holding his knocked out front tooth with him so the doctors could put it back together for him. Of course he was shitfaced!

As soon as I dropped him off at the hospital and was ready to leave, this nurse came running out of the emergency room to tell me to wait for some VIP passengers who were willing to pay me $40 (normally a $15 fare) just to take them to the Mayflower Hotel on Connecticut Avenue. Five minutes later couple of white guys one with cast on his arm rushed out of the hospital and got in to my cab.

They had a foreign accent when they started talking, so I asked if they were from Azerbaijan but they said they are Canadians. They turned out to be Edmonton Oilers Sam Gagner and the team physician trying to get back to their hotel after doctor's at Sibley performed a surgery on Sam Gagner's hand. He injured his hand during a game against the Washington Capitals, I heard he wasn't even on the field when he was injured. Pussy!

When we got to the hotel it was still pouring rain outside and the fare came out to $14.50. The team physician handed me $15 and they both ran out of the cab and disappeared in to the hotel lobby. Jack asses! what am I supposed to do? Run after them and demand another $25? Forget it man, instead I picked up this fat dude with a hot chink Asian chick, they wanted to rush to a beer and wine store in Bethesda before it closes at midnite. At least I made a quick $20 out of that one!

When is the FBI going to start criminal investigation of councilman Harris Thomas Jr?


Please don't forget the homeless,


Mad Cabbie.

WELCOME NEW TAXICAB COMMISSIONER

Mayor Vince Gray appointed the legendary actor Fred Gwynne as the new DC Taxicab commissioner couple of days ago. Great move, great move Mr. Mayor..

"Excuse me Mad, you dumb fuck, Fred Gwynne has been dead for years, the new appointee is Ron Linton."

Sorry fellaz, for some reason I thought he was Fred Gwynne! Welcome Ron Linton our new commish, lets get started and clean house man. You are going to meet full of lazy ass clowns in that office so good luck!

When is the FBI going to start criminal investigation of councilman Harris Thomas Jr?

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

THE AVERAGE LOOKING WHITE MAN GOT MARRIED

I have acquired a great deal of  accomplishment and success over the years, like in 1998 I was the driver of the month for two month in a row for the the month of August and September. You can laugh all you want but I am still proudly hanging that cheap ass award certificate on my living room wall. That shit is like a chic magnet man, women are really impressed whenever they see that recognition. But here comes another accomplishment that can over-shine everything that I have done so far.

Couple years ago a man called JD emailed me to ask me where a middle-aged average looking white man can meet chics and get laid in DC and I posted my response. Few days after that post a 37 year old divorced professional white woman emailed me and said she wanted to meet JD and check him out. I forwarded her information to JD and the rest as they say is history. JD emailed me from time to time about their dates and progress for a while and I never heard from them for over a year until about a couple month ago! Let me share a part of that message with you...

"....It will be an honor to have you as one of our guest on our wedding day. Please send me an address where I can send the invitation card and....."

That was an awesome moment for me man! A couple hooking up through a blog by a retarded cabdriver and ending up getting married after two years? That's some crazy ass shit man, I am proud of myself. Fuck match.com, this is the place where you can pickup your future bride motherfucker!

I was thinking about them this past Saturday being it was their wedding day. I politely declined to go the weeding but I did send a present. The party was in Manassas, Virginia and I heard those Prince William county authorities are deporting undocumented immigrants like crazy and I can easily pass as a Mexican. Better to be safe than sorry man, otherwise I will end up posting this shit from Tijuana Mexico.

JD and Kathy, congratulations and all the best to you!  

When is the FBI going to start criminal investigation of councilman Harris Thomas Jr?

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

LOST IN TRANSLATION

Ward 5 Council-member Harry "Hustleman" Thomas, Jr. today issued the following statement regarding the settlement agreement he has reached with the Office of the Attorney General:

"Serving as the Councilman for Ward 5 residents is my greatest honor. In an effort to continue to focus on my most important goals – improving the lives of my constituents in Ward 5 and the residents of Washington, DC — I have agreed to a settlement. I feel this is in the best interest of the city.

I have committed my life to teaching life skills to children through sports and athletic competition. The discipline and strenuous rigors that I teach through coaching and mentoring were lacking in the management of the organization.

As I have stated before, the allegations in the Attorney General's complaint about there being no service provided and a purposeful misuse of any funds are not true. That is why the settlement does not have any agreement of wrongdoing.

It is not uncommon for grantees, including DC agencies receiving federal funds, to have expenditures disallowed. It is my desire to move forward with the disposition of this matter in a way that will cause the least disruption to my family and my constituency, and that will save the DC government and its citizens the time and expense of litigation, as well.

I appreciate the trust the citizens have placed in me during these allegations. I have used my role as council-member to tend to the needs and interests of those who I have the privilege to serve. These actions are being taken to ensure that the trust the public has placed in me is maintained and honored."

Can I translate just what the motherfucker said for you? Here it goes...

"I got caught stealing! So what? I will hustle little cash here and there and pay it back. If niggers in DC reelected Marion Barry after all that shit he'd done, I am sitting mighty pretty motherfucker. Most of my fellow crook colleagues are not going to force me out of office, maybe couple of those white ones because they're racist. You retards in ward 5 don't forget to send your money and vote for me suckers!

P.S. I heard  that moron Mad Cabbie is talking shit about me, don't worry I will fix that big idiot up. I am going to rob his ass at gunpoint and if I get caught, I will just return the money to his sorry ass and admit for no wrongdoing and I will be set free. Maybe I will find a way to squeeze some cash out of that DC Taxicab Medallion bill I have introduced."

When is the FBI going to start criminal investigation of councilman Harris Thomas Jr?

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

RESIGN HARRY THOMAS JR RESIGN

Harry Thomas, JR. is a Washington DC council-member and he represents ward 5 for those of you who don't know him. My man Harry is in a deep shit, he is accused of  misusing $316,000 of the people's money for personal benefits, like buying a $69,149.60 Audi SUV. We call that stealing in the streets! On top of that, few years ago he founded some shady ass non-profit organization called Team Thomas that supposed to help poor DC kids teach swing sports. The so called non-profit raised about $200,000 and we still don't know who the major donors are and how the money is spent. But thanks to my man  Alan "Loose Lip" Suderman from Washington City Paper, his investigation shed some light for us.

$143.71 tab at Hooters
$84.74 bill at Bed Bath & Beyond
$350 payment to a Maryland-based animal trapper
$7,500 at golf courses around the country
$10,000 worth of golf equipment
$5,000 on hotels
$362.33 satellite TV charge, and a subscription to Sports Illustrated
$170 charged at a perfume store the day after Christmas
$25.95 spent at Flagship Car Wash
$75 bill at a 7-Eleven on New Year’s Eve
$39.09 bill at Hunan Treasures Restaurant
$204 cash withdrawal at the Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas, just to name a few. You can read the entire article here.

Harry Thomas JR. is also the sponsor of the controversial shady ass DC Taxicab Medallion Bill which basically gets rid of 4000 cab drivers and benefit one particular cab company, probably one of his major donors. The way the bill is set up is like a thief running in to an open safe, wide open for corruption and pretty much written by a lobbyist and former DC councilman John Ray. When John Ray was confronted by one of the Ethiopian drivers that said the bill discriminates against drivers who don't live in the city, John Ray started yelling and cussing in a condescending way that no one in that meeting had never been discriminated against like he did 100 years ago. "John Ray, how long are you going to milk that civil rights gravy train?" Thanks for all your struggles, but it's the world of what have you done for me lately. Washington DC was the murder capital of the world during your watch bitch! Just shut the fuck up!   

Let me give you an example, according to the medallion bill, my man Ponytail Charlie who fought in Vietnam for his country and who drove for Diamond Cab for years will not be allowed to own and drive his taxi anymore just because he lives in Maryland! Fuck you Harry and your bill, and I have a prediction for you, Charlie will keep driving his cab and for you, I see jail time motherfucker! Just do the right thing, resign Harry Thomas JR.

When is the FBI going to start criminal investigation of councilman Harris Thomas Jr?

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

THE SPOT

One of my favorite overnite hang-out spot is around Hotel Helix on Rhode Island avenue between 14th and 15th. There is a 7-11 around the corner and there is always foot-traffic pretty much all night. The reason I like this spot is that this particular block is a scumbag magnet, every creepy freak crawls around this spot and those are my best customers.

I was giving advice to a couple of hookers on how to maximize their income quick before their tits falls apart when Fred ran from across the street and interrupted my lectures. I haven't seen Fred in a while and I was happy to see he is still living. I have known Fred for quite some time, he was rolling with shit load of money and expensive cars during the dot com boom days.To make a long story short he is an ex entrepreneur that lives in a shady ass rented room and loves his crack these days.

Fred: Yo Mad, you are fucken alive, someone told me that you've been shot.

Me: No not yet, I am still living. Who told you that bull-shit?

Fred: Triple D Debbie read a comment on your blog that said so.

Me: I thought Triple D Debbie is in jail?  

Fred: She is out now, I think she works at a day-care center in Arlington! I am glad you're okay.

Me: Trust me I am not going to get shot before you do, motherfucker!

Fred: Can you drive me to Petworth, I need to get some shit!

I said good bye to my hooker friends and cruised north on 15th street with Fred so he can buy his happiness for the night. I went back to my spot after a few runs, the block was unusually quite. I guess the the hookers got their Johns, Fred got his fix and I made a few bucks, everyone is happy.

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

2012

s

Senator Dennis Kucinich, Senator Bernie Sanders and rapper Flavor Flav. Unless one of these three great Americans run for the presidency in 2012, I am not going to vote at all.

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.