THOSE CHEAP CANADIANS

It was a heavy rainy night in Washington, March or maybe April and people were fighting each other for cabs. I was rolling with cash doing short runs until some dude with a knocked out tooth dragged my ass all the way to Sibley Memorial Hospital. He said someone in a strip club knocked him out, and this idiot was holding his knocked out front tooth with him so the doctors could put it back together for him. Of course he was shitfaced!

As soon as I dropped him off at the hospital and was ready to leave, this nurse came running out of the emergency room to tell me to wait for some VIP passengers who were willing to pay me $40 (normally a $15 fare) just to take them to the Mayflower Hotel on Connecticut Avenue. Five minutes later couple of white guys one with cast on his arm rushed out of the hospital and got in to my cab.

They had a foreign accent when they started talking, so I asked if they were from Azerbaijan but they said they are Canadians. They turned out to be Edmonton Oilers Sam Gagner and the team physician trying to get back to their hotel after doctor's at Sibley performed a surgery on Sam Gagner's hand. He injured his hand during a game against the Washington Capitals, I heard he wasn't even on the field when he was injured. Pussy!

When we got to the hotel it was still pouring rain outside and the fare came out to $14.50. The team physician handed me $15 and they both ran out of the cab and disappeared in to the hotel lobby. Jack asses! what am I supposed to do? Run after them and demand another $25? Forget it man, instead I picked up this fat dude with a hot chink Asian chick, they wanted to rush to a beer and wine store in Bethesda before it closes at midnite. At least I made a quick $20 out of that one!

When is the FBI going to start criminal investigation of councilman Harris Thomas Jr?


Please don't forget the homeless,


Mad Cabbie.

THE LAST ZONE RIDE

My very last ride before we switched to the meter system was someone famous. It was early Sunday morning few months agoand the last job of my Saturday night shift. I was dispatched by "Redneck Tom" to a house in Chevy Chase to pick up this black chic and take her to National Airport. If my memory serves me correctly I think she was on the 80's sit-com "The Jefferson's".

"Mad! you fucken IDIOT! This lady is Gwen Ifill from News Hour on PBS, and she is one of the top high profile news chics in the country! She even moderates presidential debates you retard!"

"Calm down dude, I don't know what PBS is, so leave me alone! Good thing I didn't ask her what her days on the "Jefferson's" was like."

By the way Gwen, how about sharpening on your tipping skills? You can do better than 5.4% can't you? I know you are a poor woman who lives in a $1million plus house in Chevy Chase, but still let's get with the program!

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.