DEAR PETULA DVORAK

 picture by the Washington Post

No this woman is not competing on the "Biggest Looser", she is columnist Petula Dvorak of the Washington Post. My friend Moi recommended that I read her article which was pretty much a personal attack on DC cab drivers.

"Mad Cabbie, why do you have to post her picture? I can't read this blog and throw up at the same time! I will never read this blog again, you jackass!!!"

You're not the only one bro, just calm down and let me finish writing this post and I have more throwing up to do myself, maybe I will do so in front of 1150 15th Street NW.

Few months ago some retarded old fart called Lynne "The Botox" Breaux, who is the president of the Restaurant Association of Metropolitan Washington said, “DC is a world-class city with a third-class taxi system.”and Petula Dvorak added by saying:

"....That’s why it’s just kind of fun sometimes to take a cab, when I’m yearning for a trip to Cairo or wanting to relive the memories of a harrowing afternoon in rural China..........The rag-tag band of occasionally wretched cars that make up the taxi fleet in the nation’s capital hiked their rates again on Saturday......."

Listen, if you lived in this city long enough you know damn well that DC cabs in general came a long way and have improved a lot. With in the last ten years the fleets are becoming newer and newer, just go ask the folks at Bill Page Toyota! Hybrid Toyota cars are flying off the shelf, thanks to the Ethiopian cab drivers whom are the majority of cab drivers in this city. More cabs are accepting credit cards, majority of the drivers have driven in Washington for decades with full of experiences, all three major cab companies in DC are all GPS dispatched now and I can go on and on pointing out the improvements. All this said, I agree that there are some scumbag drivers out there who don't give a shit about their taxi operation. Ron Linton is trying to change the status-quo and it takes some time and he doesn't have a good qualified team at the Taxicab Commission to accomplish the tasks anytime soon. I don't necessary agree on all of what he is trying to do but he is doing something about it.

The fare increase is an important start, all the improvements that have been suggested would been impossible without the extra revenue. The fares were slashed by almost 30% in 2008 when they switched to meters and majority of drivers are struggling to survive with those cheap fare rates. Where were the cries for DC cabdrivers when the fares were slashed? And why would any passenger wants a driver who is overworked, underpaid and too tired to drive safely?  All the media coverage is bitching about the 44% increase on the mileage rate, but the math is not that simple folks. I don't have the time to break down the calculation for you but if you throw in the fare slash of 2008 and the extra charges that they have taken away now, the fare increase comes up to a whopping 0.80% per year since 2008! Comprende Petula Dvorak?

I have been to quite a few third world countries including Cairo and Little Rock Arkansas, there is no comparison between the third world and DC cab services like you and  Lynne Breaux claim it to be, it's not even remotely close. Petula, you are a typical ignorant douchebag, if you were trying to be a comedian please don't leave your day-job. Just try to invest five minutes to do a little research before you start typing! I just can't believe you're walking the same halls at the Washington Post with some of the greats like Micheal Wilbon, Tony Kornheiser, Eugene Robinson and Marc Fisher. Just keep on stealing the pay-checks for the garbage you put on the Post, in the mean while the days of cheap fares to haul your fat ass are OVER!!!

Lynne Breaux, how about addressing issues on some of the rat infested overpriced mediocre DC restaurants? Instead of sticking your wrinkled ass nose in our business, get some real work done.

Let me go throw up now,

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

ROMNEY LOOSING THE SUPPORT OF BABBIES

"This guy wants to be the president of the United States? Mom please get me out of here!"

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

WHY MITT ROMNEY WILL LOOSE BY A LANDSLIDE

Four years ago I explained the MHI theory when I talked about the economy. MHI or Mad's Hooker Index is the bench-mark or a gauge I came up with to predict the health of the U.S economy correctly. This index pretty much follows the trend and frequencies of the retards calling Mad Cabbie for rides to the hooker joints.

Guys, the economy is rebounding, people are going out more at night. I have a regular rider who is a consultant and who I haven't seen in years, all of a sudden he is getting laid two three times a week, now he doesn't have to beg his wife for a pun-tang anymore. People start working now and this is very good news for Obama and I predict the unemployment figure will be less than or close to 8%. Here are my five main points on why Mr. Obama will win this election comfortably unless they catch him with a hooker or something.

1-Unemployment will consistently go down.
2-The growth of the U.S economy will beat analysts expectations.
3-There will be more young first time voters going Obama's way.
4-Romney will be flip-flopping like crazy trying to regain the independent vote.
5-Romney's love-child will show up from France. (as I was told by one of my passengers)

Listen, the political pundits will tell you that it's going to be a very close race, but I say Obama will convincingly bitch slap Romney in November and take my word to your closest local bank.

Please don't forgot the homeless,

Mad Cabbie


  

THE BUDOS BAND

 
I checked out these cats at the 9:30 Club couple nights ago and they rocked the house man! I am a big fan of these guys, if you haven't discovered them yet you need to, trust me you won't be disappointed. Their music is influenced by the Ethiopian jazz legend Mulatu Astatke which is another guy you need to check out.

What's up with the 9:30 club these days man? You are not allowed to smoke cigarettes but you can smoke all the weeds you want! Well, it seems that way, everyone around me were taking hits and by the time I got out of that place I was stoned myself.   

When the concert was over, I announced "Anyone needs a ride follow me, my cab is parked across the street!". I turned around and there were twenty retards following me, I squeezed in about half of them and dumped their asses all over the city. I was too tired to keep on working but still made a little cash after the show. It was a good night!

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.

SUPPLY AND DEMAND

Usually it's  rich fat dudes with  hot young wives, but the couple I drove to Great Falls last night was completely the opposite. She was a big tall blond heavy duty chic, maybe a little over 300lbs. The husband was in shape, looked real good, much younger and was extremely polite and attentive to her.

Their crib turned out to be a freaken mansion when I pulled up at the circular driveway. My first stereotypical thought was "Okay, he married a fat chic with a load of cash!". If you reading this blog, you probably thinking the same way I did, so I am not the only jerk here. There is a very good chance that he loves her regardless the extra pounds she is carrying around. That's all good but the problem I am having is, if these rich skinny white guys start snatching away those fat white chics, where do the black guys stand?

"Mad Cabbie, what a cheap shot! You are one sick individual!"

That's not a cheap shot at all man! I am worried about the inventory of fat white chics, I can't compete with rich white guys, you know!

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.    

KISS YOUR PRIVACY GOOD-BYE

For the past week DC cabbies were all over the news accused of assaulting their passengers. I didn't know  it was illegal to bitch-slap my out of control passengers every now and then. Now they want to install some kind of panic button inside the taxicab in case passengers encounter any kind of danger.

Let me tell you something, DC cab drivers are the most educated, friendliest and safe to be around with. Are there some bad apples? Of course there are, like any other business! Most of our passengers would fail the background check that we have to go through every two years. The Taxicab Commission were itching to install all kind of "big brother gadgets" in all DC cabs for the last few years. Companies like VeriFone are licking their chops and pressuring the DC council to have these garbages dumped in each cab on the riders expense. Guess what? You are going to have to pay extra $.50 per trip for it!

The shit they are talking about is more than a panic button, it's a smart chip that records every bit of movement and transaction inside the cab. If the DC government have their wishes, the retards will have all the information on where you being picked up and which whore house you're being dropped off at. Especially for those of you who call a cab for service, every bit of information will be stored at the DC Taxicab Commission for their viewing pleasure. You will be charged 50 cents a trip to give up your privacy, it's like a hooker paying her john for the service she provided.

Now the choice is yours, one in a billion chance for being bitch-slapped by Mad Cabbie or your privacy?

Please don't forget the homeless,

Mad Cabbie.