What's up bitches! Is there anyone out there? Hello!
I know there has to be few people reading this crap, even after I stopped blogging I got few hundred thousands of hits and still coming. So I am going to give it a try one more time. Why today? I was talking to my dear friend K yesterday and she talked about picture blogging about stuff! I said to myself, you know what, I haven't been doing this shit for a while and I have all kind of bullshit to talk about, and here I am.
I know there has to be few people reading this crap, even after I stopped blogging I got few hundred thousands of hits and still coming. So I am going to give it a try one more time. Why today? I was talking to my dear friend K yesterday and she talked about picture blogging about stuff! I said to myself, you know what, I haven't been doing this shit for a while and I have all kind of bullshit to talk about, and here I am.
LAST COUPLE OF YEARS IN A NUTSHELL.
I put on hold my prestigious high profile cab driving occupation in DC and found a gig working for NGO. My friend Sara hooked me up with a guy who ran a clean water project all over the shitholes on this planet. When they hired me on the spot I thought I was someone special, I patted myself on my back telling my self "You go Mad Cabbie, finally you found people who understood how smart you are! That's what's up nigger!"
Basically what they needed was a body, any breathing retard who was willing to go to a part of Afghanistan where the Talibans vacation and chill when the fighting season slows down. After I accepted the offer, the chics in the lobby were laughing and giggling their asses off, pointing at my ass. Damn, I thought those white bitches were into me or something. But anyhow, at the time, the violence against cab drivers in DC was on the rise, so I felt Afghanistan was a much acceptable place for my safety.
Afghanistan, to my surprise has a beautiful countryside and great people besides what they show you on TV here in the States. I shitted in my pants here and there every time I heard a round of AK-47. Afghans like to shoot their weapons up in the air for some celebrations. Our local guide was like "You big negro man please! Calm your ass down! Don't act like you've never heard these pops before in southeast DC muddafukka!"
I traveled back and forth few times to different countries doing different humanitarian missions. The last gig was in Jordan near the Syrian border until that operation was suspended due to security concerns. I returned back to DC, finished up my contract and never got a call so far. When I left abroad I returned my taxi tags confirming that I can get it back when I return, they call it the H tags. Last time I asked for the tags upon my return, they refused to give me the H tag back. Reason being that I was away too long! Even though I still have my taxi hack license, all the equipments and the skills to drive a cab, no luck. As an American citizen, native of DC who drove a cab in this city for over twenty years, now I can not be in a freakin cab business because the clowns at the DC taxicab commission refused to give back my H tags. For all of you motherfuckers around the world who want to come to America, please avoid Washington DC by all cost, it's worse than the country you coming from! Try Mississippi or something!
WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW
Few months ago I was picking my nose sitting at a cafe in DuPont Circle when I saw Andre the Russian walked in. I haven't seen his ass in a year, he lost a few pounds and few hair, started wearing eyeglasses.
Andre: What'z up Mad, I thought you're z dead or somezing, maybe ISIS cut z head!
MadCabbie: I am still alive bitch, what's up with you and your shady operations?
Andre: Alwayz making z money! whatz you doing?
MadCabbie: Dude, I am living off my savings.......
I told him about my situation with DC Taxicab Commission, and we discussed the idea I have about starting my own car service with a wild twist. The thing is I can't get an L tag either for the car service.....and here comes Andre for the rescue!
Andre: Look, fuck z DC goverment, I will get you z Deleware tags
MadCabbie: Delware? are you out your fucken mind?
Andre: We incorporate z buiznezz in Delaware get z tagz and no taxz bitch!
MadCabbie: Look Andre, I don't want to go to prison motherfucker!
Andre: All z rich corporation do it, you know, like Warren z Buffett!
MadCabbie: Do I look like a fucken corporation to you?
Andre: Don't be scared nigger, I will get you Delaware limo tagz!
MadCabbie: By the way, since when you start wearing glasses?
Andre: They're fake you mother bitch, I had some important meeting with z chinks from Shanghai!
........to be continued.
Please don't forget the homeless,
Mad Cabbie.
