December has been a rough month her at Diamond Cab Company. Last December, four of our drivers passed away just in one month! Two heart attacks, one stroke and one driver decided to drop dead on the way to the airport, I think his passenger was wearing a bad perfume or something.
This month I heard one of our drivers is in a grave condition already! When I got back after being absent from work for a few month I was told that one of my mentors Mr Jumpin' Jack Jeffery died of a heart attack couple of month ago while waiting for his coffee at Starbucks. I think Jack was one of the last Jewish cabbies in Washington. The story is after he applied for a job at the Library of Congress during the early sixties,(Phil, correct me if I am wrong, didn't he graduate from Cornell?) he started driving a cab to cover his bills while waiting for the library's phone call that never happened. Every time I saw him I always asked if the library called yet, and he tells me to go fuck myself! Jumpin' Jack dead after over 40 years at Diamond Cab.
Only couple of these guys are older, the rest of the drivers were too young to die. Cab driving is a silent killer, you sit on your ass non stop for hours and eating junk food in between, that is a recipe for an early check out. Any cab driver reading this blog better think twice about your well being, stop playing those lotto numbers and join a gym instead. It's never too late to start working out, that includes you Phil, those couple Goodyear tires don't look on your waistline.
By the way I have Rush "To Eat" Limbaugh in my 2009 death pool but that fat motherfucker is still breathing heavy on the microphone! What's up with that? I still have 28 days left to win though.
Please don't forget the homeless,